Saturday, May 12, 2018

It's Snarkurday!

The minute I heard that Colton Haynes was marrying Jeff Leatham and that That Woman was performing the ceremony, I set the timer for six months. And lo and behold when the timer went off it appeared that the marriage was over.

Now, no one knows why the marriage ended, or even if it has truly ended but here’s what we do know…

Colton has stopped following Jeff on Instagram

Colton erased all pictures of Jeff’s face from his Instagram

Colton released a song called Man It Sucks about a breakup

Seriously … it’s that serious. And true, because now we hear that Colton has already filed for divorce.

I’m telling you, it used to be if a celebrity was photographed not wearing their wedding ring, that was the signal. Now all you gotta do is Unfriend them on social media.
I thought the next season of Ryan Murphy’s Feud would be his feud with Olivia de Havilland, but there’s another fight that might peek his interests: the seventeen-year feud between Jada Pinkett Smith and Gabrielle Union.

Oh, you hadn’t heard of that one? Don’t feel bad, no one had until Jada, who is doing some kind of low-rent talk show on Facebook called Red Table Talk with her mom, and the two went on Extra to promote their show.

Jada said she’s be having Tiffany Haddish, Hollywood’s New ‘It’ Girl, and Jada needs the viewership, but it was what she said next that drew the biggest gasps …well, from Jada and her mom at least:
“I have a really touching episode with Gabrielle Union. We haven’t been on the best of terms for 17 years, and we have a reconciliation. [And] when the producers said we want to do a girlfriends show… her name just kept coming up… it just couldn’t be anything else.”
And yet even Jada can’t seem to recall what the nearly two-0decade pissing contest was about.

So why should we care? We don’t.
Does anyone think that if she didn’t have a TV show, and couldn’t play out this drama with her Baby Daddy, that Khloé Kardastrophe and Tristan Thompson would still be together?

Yes, Khloé and Tristan are staying together, probably not for each other, and probably not for the child, but for the cameras to roll next season.

I mean, c’mon. Big sis Kim married a guy on TV only to divorce him on TV the next season …and then she married a guy who goes off his meds regularly.

Kourtney was married to Scott Is A Dick Disick.

Kim Wannabe, Kylie, used to date a guy, buy him cars, and then act surprised when, on camera, he gave them to her as gifts; and the she got knocked up by a one-night stand.

So, again, does anyone really think Khloé and Tristan are staying together for any reason other than ratings?

I know, right?
Johnny Depp cannot stay out of the news.

This week Depp is hot because he ALLEGEDLY physically attacked a location manager on the set of his upcoming film, LAbyrinth, when he tried to punch the guy and then shrieked:
“I’ll give you $100,000 to punch me right now!”
Easiest 100K I’d have ever made.

The set of LAbyrinth turned toxic when Depp decided to take over the directing reins for a scene featuring two of his friends as a cop and a homeless guy. The production had permits to close down the street, but Depp took so long “directing” that they expired and when he tried to continue that location manager told the actual director, Brad Furman, that the scene had to wrap’ Furman, knowing he was working with crazy said:
“Tell that to Johnny Depp!”
And when the location manager did just that, Depp—who ALLEGEDLY had been drinking all day—got in his face, screaming”
“Who are you? You have no right!”
When the man simply said he was doing his job, Depp tried to punch him in the ribs and when he got no reaction was when he screamed about the 100K.

A rep for Depp had no comment. Furman insisted the ALLEGED incident was overblown. I’m thinking … bull shiz, Johnny Depp is unhinged.
Since he announced his split from wife Vanessa, Donnie _____ Junior has started dating Fox News host Kimberly Guilfoyle.

A former San Francisco and LA prosecutor Guilfoyle is known for her strong connections to the _____ clan and family, and tirelessly backs the president and the first family.

Big surprise, I mean the Fat Bastard gets his talking points from Fox, so why shouldn’t Junior get his latest side-piece from them, too?

Plus, Guilfoyle was also linked to Anthony Scaramucci last year when he briefly separated from his wife.

Wow, Junior got the Mooch’s sloppy seconds.
A while back we discussed “actor” Clayne Crawford being a dick on the set of Fox’s Lethal Weapon knockoff. Clayne played the Mel Gibson role for two seasons but not anymore. He was fired for being a terror o-set and found out when, well, we all did … when Fox announced it in The Hollywood Reporter.


Fox is still planning to renew Lethal Weapon for a third … third? … season if they can recast his role sooner rather than later, but most actors in Hollywood are all:
“There’s a Lethal Weapon TV show?”
Which is what most people are saying.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

I had to look up in Wikipedia who Colton Haynes is. Oh, an actor -- okay. And Jeff Leatham -- "celebrity florist" -- WTF? Still, it's sad when marriages end.

Helen Lashbrook said...

Johnny Depp looks as though he just climbed out of a pile of rubbish by the dumpster.

Blobby said...

I have zero idea who Colton Haynes is. To quote Lucille Bluth (when Jimmy Kimmel's name was mentioned): "I don't know who that is, and I don't care to".

the dogs' mother said...

My goodness! Maybe need 2nd cup of coffee for this bunch!

Deedles said...

@the dogs' mother- Day drinking is required for this bunch!
Most of these guys look like they've been rode hard and left out in a storm!

anne marie in philly said...

@deedles - RIGHT ON, SISTER!

can you imagine the number of STDs amongst all of them?

and WTF with khloe's lips?

mistress maddie said...

Please...little dick junior already banged Kimberly Guilfoyle years ago. Probably.

sheila morris said...

OMG, Johnny Depp is truly unhinged, and DT JR is following in his dad's marital messiness. Why would anyone go out with him - even if I were straight and 25, I wouldn't want to be associated with any of those people. They ain't right!
Go get 'em, Bob!!

Dave R said...

Depp is making another movie? Wow, someone must need a tax right-off.

Why does Donnie Jr always look like he's got his finger up his ass?

Never knew who Khloe was until this picture. That's when I realized she looked like a 2 bit whore... wait, they all look like 2 bit whores... are you sure that's Khloe?