Thursday, May 17, 2018


Remember the story of the white woman in Oakland who used the police as her “racism valets” to remove a couple of black men from a park because they were :::gasp::: grilling?

Well, her name Dr. … seriously? … Jennifer Schulte from Stanford University so she is clearly not some stupid ass moron … she’s a doctor.

Well, apparently, a doctor of Racism and White Privilege.

Spread her shame. As I see it, if black people having a barbeque make you uncomfortable, or black people sitting in Starbucks causes you worry, or a black girl sleeping in the common room of her dorm is somehow scary, you have the problem, so maybe you should stay home and leave the world to the rest of us. You’ll be better off, we’ll be better off.

Oh yeah, and don’t forget:

Jennifer Schulte, Racist.
The other morning Carlos, who was in the office reconciling—he pronounces it ‘ree-conciling’ … so cute—came out and asked me:
“Did you make a payment to your AMEX account and forget to enter it into the balance sheet?”
“No. I don’t owe any money to American Express. I never use that card.”
He shows me the bank statement, where a payment was made to American Express in the amount of $230 and on the bank statement, it lists my name Naturally, we both think my account is hacked and I go access my AMEX account online and, yup, no transactions at all, payments or charges, since last fall. I ask Carlos to maybe call AMEX or the bank and see what the trouble might be, but, again, he asks if someone stole my identity and used my card …
“Wait. What? You think someone stole my identity, used my AMEX card to rack up two-hundred bucks in charges, and then paid off the card using our bank account?”
"Why …. whyyyyyy … would anyone do that?”
But he isn’t listening because he’s spotted another AMEX payment, listed with my name, from the previous month. I look at it and … in the words of the immortal BritBrit, and to paraphrase her greatness …. Oops, he did it again.

The two AMEX payments were from his card, but he accessed the AMEX account on our Google account with was open under my name, you know, because of this here blog and so … the accounts were his, the payments were his.

Of course, I spent the rest of the day asking if he wanted to accuse me of making more nonexistent payments to my accounts. It was fun.
Seriously, there’s nothing going on here, and if you believe that …

Just a day after the Chinese government agreed to put $500,000,000 into an Indonesian project that will personally enrich Donald _____, the Fat Bastard ordered a bailout for a Chinese-government-owned cellphone maker, ZTE:
“President Xi of China, and I, are working together to give massive Chinese phone company, ZTE, a way to get back into business, fast. Too many jobs in China lost. Commerce Department has been instructed to get it done!”
So, he’s not creating jobs in America, but rather creating them in China, because China ponied up a half-billion dollars for a theme park resort outside of Jakarta at which _____’s business has a deal to license the _____ name to the resort, which includes a golf course and hotels.

Like I said, nothing to see here … right, Deplorables?
Brian Morris, from the small town of Clarendon Hills in Dupage County, Illinois, just won $125 million in the state lottery, quit his job and then …. Brian Morris purchased over 20,000 tons of manure, valued at $224,000, and had it delivered to, and dumped on, the home of his former employer.

Morris was standing across the street and laughing when the police arrived, and he rapidly came over to confess his responsibility and explain his motivations.

Lieutenant Frank Meyers, a spokesman of the Clarendon Hills Police Department, said:
“The accused told us he’d worked for the victim for 17 years and was treated like shit. He says he had to endure his mistreatment because he needed the money, but that now that he won $125 million it was time for revenge.”
Morris attracted a lot of media attention after winning $125 million Powerball and when he was asked by organizers what he would do with the money, he said:
“Just read the news, you’ll see.”
Morris was freed on bail about ManureGate and told reporters to “stay alert”, claiming he had “a few other pranks to pull over the next few weeks.”

Georgia Secretary of State and gubernatorial candidate and Republican, because, of course, Brian Kemp is trying to show conservatives he’s a tough guy with a new ad that shows him pumping a shotgun, setting off an explosion, and promising to “round up illegals” in his pick-up truck if need be; in the ad he says:
“I’m so conservative, I blow up government spending. I own guns that no one’s taking away. My chainsaw is ready to rip up some regulations. I got a big truck, just in case I need to round up criminal illegals and take ‘em home myself. Yep, I just said that. I’m Brian Kemp. If you want a politically incorrect conservative, that’s me.”
Kemp made headlines earlier this month by pointing a shotgun at a young man who wanted to date his daughter.

Yup, he’s a gun nut and he wants to be governor of Georgia.
Karma; love her. This week, after someone spilled the beans about _____ hack Kelly Sadler’s vile remarks about John McCain, White House Press Liar, Sarah Huckabee Sanders chastised the White House communications team for leaking those remarks. Now, she didn’t denounce the remarks themselves, just the leaking of the remarks to the press.

So, what does a White House staffer do after that meeting? Well, just what Sanders thought:
“I am sure this conversation is going to leak, too. And that’s just disgusting.”
Um, Sarah, you Melting Lump of Play-Doh, saying of someone who is terminally ill, he’s “dying anyway” is disgusting, but telling the story about someone who said that vile thing is not.

Get your priorities straight and … oh, forget it. Look who I’m talking to …
Remember when ____, while lying and campaigning, announced that he would be the most LGBT friendly president ever?

This week his administration rolled back rules that allowed transgender inmates to use facilities that match their gender identity, including cell blocks and bathrooms.It's just one more reversal of an Obama administration effort to protect transgender prisoners from sexual abuse and assault.

But, hey, if it gets rid of the progress set forth by a real president, and harms only trans folks, then who cares, right?
It’s plain to see that Donald and Melania don’t have that same loving type of marriage that the Obamas had, so who does _____ call on for those late-night chats, mid-morning gab fests, and late day gossip sessions?

Sean Hannity.

On some days, they speak multiple times, with one calling the other to inform him of the latest developments. White House staff know the calls happen, because _____ might enter a room and say:
“I just hung up with Hannity.”
He’s even called Hannity during meeting with staff.

It’s a bromance, and the ugliest one in history.
When Patricia O’Grady moved into the top floor of a Greenwich Village walk-up in 1955, she and her three roommates helped sweep the hallway in exchange for a discounted rent of $16 a month. The unit was bare, no more than floor and walls, so the girls installed a sink and other amenities. While her roommates moved on, O’Grady never left, and stayed in the rent-controlled apartment until she died this past March at the age of 84.

Her monthly rent was $28.43.

In addition to possibly being the cheapest unit in Greenwich Village, tit also may have been New York City’s last cold-water flat since it had neither heat nor hot water., though it did have two working fireplaces.

O’Grady was so set in her ways, she fought with the landlord any time he tried to update the apartment; when he tried to install proper heat, she pleaded with him:
“What you’re doing to me is torturing me. Please leave the apartment as is. I’m at peace.”
The apartment had no bath or shower. There was only a single gas light bulb, and, thanks to her osteoporosis, O’Grady couldn’t replace it and so she used candlelight; a pull-chain toilet and cast-iron stove were updated only recently.

But, again, $28.43 a month.

With O’Grady gone, the landlord will do a renovation and rent Patricia O’Grady’s old apartment for at least $5,000 a month.
As they say on Project Runway …
“One day, you’re in. The next day you’re out.”
And then maybe you can go back in again?

It looks like Project Runway, formerly the darling of Bravo before all those housewives and realtors, is moving back to Bravo from Lifetime, and we can thank the Weinstein Scandal for it.

The PR moved to Lifetime back in 2008 when The Weinstein Company [TWC] decided to make some more coins from a sale of the show. But now, A + E Television Networks, which owns Lifetime, dropped TWC after all the accusations against Harvey Weinstein came out and Heidi and Co. were :::gasp::: homeless.

And that’s when Bravo opened its purse and rolled out the coins the bring the PR home where it all started, and where it belongs.

It was in, it was out, it’s in again.
I love Melissa McCarthy. I think she’s high-larious. Sadly, for me, she keeps making bad film choices that are one-note jokes and sight gags. Her latest film, Life of the Party, s the tale of a woman who after her husband divorces her, decides to go back to college …the same college where her daughter goes.

Apparently, hilarity ensues cuz Mom is at college with her daughter, but …

I liked it better when Rodney Dangerfield played a rich guy, who was worried that his son wouldn’t attend college to Dangerfield signs up as a student, too … at the same college … in Back to School.

And hilarity ensues because Dad is at college with his son.

Remember what I said Tuesday, about how we should let women run things in the country for a while since men have been f**king things up for a couple of centuries?

Well, Tuesday was a good day for women, and Democrats.

More than half of the winning Democratic candidates for House seats in Tuesday’s primary elections were women, and, in the four states that held primary elections — Indiana, North Carolina, Ohio, and West Virginia — 22 out of 40 congressional districts picked women as their Democratic nominees, including eight women of color; women also won 17 of 20 Democratic primary races for open seats.

I’m liking this, a lot.
I have been watching Vida, still, the show on Starz about the two Latina sisters who return home to their mother’s funeral and find out Mama had a lesbian lover.

I’m guessing the show is written by women … or gay men … because there is a fair amount of male nudity in the show; week two gave us the second appearance of Carlos Miranda’s glorious ass, and also introduced us to neighborhood hottie, Tlaloc Medina, played by he-of-the-gorgeous hair, Ramses Jimenez. It also gave us some male frontal nudity from Jackson Davis, who plays Juniper. Jackson was in a scene with his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend where she was, um, well, she was down there and, well, it led to a line of dialogue I never thought I’d hear from a TV show, even a cable show, in which the ex-girlfriend says:
“You waited for me to eat your ass before you dumped me?”
I know. Cable, huh?


mistress maddie said...

I just love me some Carlos!!!!

the dogs' mother said...

Today is bookkeeping day, can I borrow Carlos? xooxox

Helen Lashbrook said...

Dr Schulte should be ashamed of the fact that she is intelligent enough to get a doctorate yet stupid enough to be racist. It isn't her evil identical twin sister who is the racist is it? And Stanford should be hiding their heads in shame

anne marie in philly said...

brian morris - that takes balls, dude! excellent!

Mark Alexander said...

"Melting Lump of Play-Doh."

I am SO stealing that!

Deedles said...

Great post bookends, Bob.
Give Carlos a hug for me, wilya? Cyber hugs lack the one-on-one warmth.

Ah,____ and Hannity. The eternal, passionate relationship between an asshole and his thumb. Cue the violins!

Dave R said...

My money says that Schulte also hates gays, and lesbians, and everyone who thinks she's fat.

Rodney was funnier than Melissa because he's a pop icon and she's... in it for the money.

Hannity is a cancer.

Just wondering how much shit Morris will send to the Idiot Jerk...

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Brian "Take This Job and Shove It" Morris is living the dream!

Blobby said...

i might love Brian Morris.