Under The Gunn Ep 3: Red Carpet Ready .... Or Not

We’re finally, after two weeks of preliminaries, getting into the real show — which I will only refer to as Under The Gunn not P______ R_____: Under The Gunn.

And the first challenge: make a red carpet look that shows off your aesthetic after taking a needless Starline tour of Hollywood and Beverly Hills. Oh, and the winning designtestant gets $5,000 and will have their look worn by a “celebrity” and photographed for the “pages” of Marie Claire.

It’s a fairly safe challenge, so let’s rip … but first, let’s talk judges: Jen Rade, a stylist who has worked with Pink, Angelina Jolie and Cher … bitches. Also, Zanna Roberts Rassi from Marie Claire and fashion designer Rachel Roy … now let’s rip …

THE SAFES — clockwise from top left

ASHA — Team Mondo

Since she barely spoke — I think her one line was: Time’s up — I don’t have a lot to say about Asha. I loathed her look because I loathe a mullet dress, especially one made out of what appeared to be butcher paper. I did, however, like the top of the dress, so there’s that …

BRADY — Team Anya

Okay, I get it that he has a vision, and this could be a Red Carpet look for the MTV Awards or the Kids Choice Awards … or something to wear at a skate park?

ISABELLE — Team Nick

All I could think about her was her time at Mood when she wondered about peeing or buying fabrics: To pee, or not to pee … Her look is nice, but old; it looks like a costume from a 30s melodrama.

OSCAR — Team Nick

This was deceptively simple, but I loved the deep emerald green and how the colors changed from emerald to black as it walked; it’s a wee bit too simple — and again, too Nick — to win, but it was well-made and gorgeous.

NICHOLAS — Team Anya

He wanted to do a fringe-cape-cover-up over a bathing suit — for the Red Carpet. Anya simply reminded him that it could go vulgar. I need to remind him that his look is not Red Carpet, unless it’s a red carpet around the breakfast buffet at the Quality Inn.

NATALIA — Team Nick

I nearly kicked out the TV watching Nick tell her exactly what to do, and then say, “Do the dress I just said.”  The look is chic and elegant and it’s all Nick.

TEAM NICK

Nick seems to want his team to be his staff designers, because he sketches for them, designs for them, wanted to go to Mood to pick out their fabrics. He helps them drape and pleat and pattern make and, well, why didn’t he just do everything and then have the designtestants on his team sew for him? He’s Nick the Teacher, not a Mentor.

When Tim tells him he needs to stop “doing” and just “mentor” he keeps agreeing and saying Right Right and then goes right back to being the designer.

STEPHANIE

She’s going Old Hollywood, with Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn silhouettes in green taffeta. Yes, green taffeta. And she’s struggling, even with Nick telling her how to fold the dress and shape the dress and make the dress a Nick Dress.

WHAT SHE SAID

The folds aren’t popping. It just looks flat.

WHAT I SAID

It also looks really wrinkled and very poorly made. Bad color, bad fit, bad folds, but really great wrinkles.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Rachel Roy said that it was a thirteen-year-old virgin look from the neck up, and totally grandma from the neck down; it’s tragic. Zanna said green taffeta looks old, not Old Hollywood.

TEAM MONDO

Mondo let’s his team do their thing and suggests ideas and changes, but ultimately let’s them make their own looks.

SAM

He doesn’t do silks and charmeuse and gowns and red carpet and he’s instantly afraid. But when Mondo reminded him that it should be a ‘Sam’ version of Reed Carpet, he relaxed, and decided to go with a Katharine Hepburn look, pants, and androgyny; except it became a one-piece jumpsuit.

WHAT HE SAID

That jumpsuit fits perfectly. I’m blown away by how much I was able to do in a day.

WHAT I SAID

It’s the simplest look on the runway, and the fabrics are nice, but I can’t help but be reminded of the guys that used to work at my Dad’s gas station — his third career after retiring from the Air Force and teaching — who put chains on cars during the snowstorms. It looks like a very chic chain apes overalls.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Jen Rade loved it, calling it modern and edgy and chic and fun and Rachel Roy agreed that a jumpsuit is a cool modern look for a Red Carpet. Zanna liked that the model wore the dress and not the other way round.

MICHELLE

Atop the bus, she becomes inspired by the jewelry stores and wants to make a gem-stone dress, with all kinds of little pieces of fabrics cut to look like diamonds or rubies. And that’s too much cutting and sewing and shaping and then flattening and trying to even out the seams. 

When her model tries on the look, her hips are too big, so Michelle needs to take it all apart and readjust.

WHAT SHE SAID

Besides the fit, I don’t regret anything. I could have made it simpler, but I really like the look.

WHAT I SAID

I think it looks Dinner with the Husband and not Red Carpet; and since gem stones are precisely cut, I would have liked less buggy seams.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Zanna said she’s seen this look hundreds of times, while Rachel Roy called out the fabric as a bad choice to use when doing so many seams — and there were hundreds of seams. Jen Rade called it a gynecology dress — and agreed with Tim about the awkward diamond shape over the hoo-hah—and hated the construction.

CAMILA

On the bus tour she says she’s inspired by the Art Deco buildings and wants to make that her dress, but at Mood she is a scattered mess, and loses fabrics, and tries to keep shopping and cutting and buying even after Tim calls time because she still has money to spend. Again, Tim Gunn snaps: No!

WHAT SHE SAID

She looks very elegant, but I’m concerned that I didn’t have time to do something more with the front.

WHAT I SAID

It’s pretty and, yes, simple, but the Art Deco detail on the back gets lost in the dark fabric, and since the front is so plain, b y the time she turns around it’s too little, too late.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Jen Rade appreciated the detail, but felt it wasn’t a strong design, and the wrong fabric and construction; she said she didn’t get Camila’s aesthetic. Camila defended her look with an “In my country” explanation of not having a lot of fabric to choose from and having to go from the metric system to inches. Zanna stopped her and called her out for too many excuses, and Rachel Roy said if she knows her limitations she should use her mentor to advise her on what choices to make.

TEAM ANYA

Anya wants them all to enjoy the experience, but does offer some advice on their designs. I think she's one of the best mentor because she does give advice, but also steers the designers towards their own aesthetic so they don't stray too far from their comfort zone.

BLAKE

As the challenge is announced Blake reminds us that he does red carpet gowns so he’s going to win this. Could be. Maybe. But he’s less inspired by Hollywood than he is by the flowers of Hollywood and wants to make a Winter Bloom dress. At least until he gets to Mood and finds no florals he likes, so he picks a watercolor pastel print and rethinks his flowery dress.

I liked Anya’s style of mentoring; when Blake worries about roughing up the edges of his gown to make it more urban, she simply reminds him that his aesthetic isn’t flowy and pretty.

WHAT HE SAID

I immediately breathe a sigh of relief. She is beautiful and ethereal and exactly what I imagined.

WHAT I SAID

I like it; I like the rough edges because it takes a pretty dress up a notch. But the front seams down the dress seem askew. And it reads a little Sister Wife in Haight Ashbury.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Zanna said it was so different — and people might not get it — that it could either be a Best Dressed look or a Worst Dressed look; she, however, liked it and called it “bang on trend.” Jen Rade thought — as a stylist would —t hat the dress would photograph well from all angles, and called it well done. Rachel Roy simply said it was stunning.

SHAN

He’s inspired by Robert Cavalli, and I’ll just take him at his word because I couldn’t tell a Roberto Cavalli from a Telly Savalas. But he wants to do a tuxedo, and a print tuxedo; and he picks this loud geometric in black and white.

When Anya stops by her only concern is that the size of the lapel might make the look go ‘circus.’ When the model comes by the concern shifts to her breasts which are too big for the coat and threaten to spill out; I laughed when she actually apologized for her boobs.

WHAT HE SAID

I don’t know what clown would wear this suit but it’s a pretty chic clown.

WHAT I SAID

It would be very chic on a smaller busted woman, but I like the sexiness of it—being a suit and all—and love the back. Plus, Shan really lined up the print at every seam flawlessly.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Jen Rade loved it and said she could see it worn on many Red Carpets and Zanna loved how well-made it was for a one day challenge and called it striking. Rachel Roy said it was a new thought and a new idea and loved it.

WHAT HAPPENED

Mondo had a Top Designer, and two in the Bottom Three, while Nick just had one designer, in the Bottom. Anya scored by having two designers and both in the Top Three.

The judges convene backstage with Tim and declare their favorites and least favorites.

I was sure it would go to Blake, but the judges seemed to like overalls this season so Sam gets the first win and the first 5K.

I was also sure it would be Stephanie who was sent packing because that dress was every kind of awful, but I guess the judges don’t like excuses because Camila was sent packing … to Venezuela.

MY TAKE

I sorta laughed when the show began, at Natalia talking about how she loves Mondo and Anya, but feels Nick is a better mentor when she was thisclose to being booted off the show and had no choice in her mentor. She’s rewriting history faster than the GOP.

Where was Asha? I saw her once at Mood, and once in the workroom dressed like a Postal employee, and then she was on the runway and then she was safe. Invisible edit to the nth degree.

Brady is adorable but he needs to lose the ball cap.

I was so annoyed by Nick’s constant meddling that I almost wished Tim had asked him to leave the show. I know he’s a teacher — god knows he mentions it enough — but his job is not to teach. He’s really bugging me and I hope he tones it down.

I completely guessed the wrong winners and losers on this round — and I usually get at least one right — so maybe this season will be all twisty and turny.

I think I'm, right now, Team Shan.

What did YOU think?