Monday, January 13, 2014

Golden Globes Fashion: The Best, The Meh, The Worst, The Preggers, The Men, The WTF and Old Drunk Hollywood?

The Best of The Best:
Lupita Nyong’o may have been robbed of a Globe--her performance in 12 Years A Slave was brilliant--but she stole the Red Carpet from all others last night by going clean and simple and elegant.
The Rest of the Best:
Angela Bassett: Sleek and sultry and sexy; totally Angela.

Cate Blanchett: That's how you do lace on the Red Carpet.

Emma Roberts: Pay attention Aunt Julia, this is how it's done.

Melissa McCarthy: No talk of full-figured women, she just looks gorgeous.

Reese Witherspoon: Might be too simple, but it was beautiful

Uma Thurman: I wondered why she was there, but then I realized it was to show off that spectacular frock.
The Meh:
Amy Adams: It was a'ight, I guess, but the color was all wrong. Plus, when she got out of her car she was wearing a cape and I think she saw Lupita in hers and realized she couldn't keep up.


Amy Poehler: Nothing exciting at all about this one.


Elizabeth Moss: I loathe the lace dresses with the shorter dress beneath; I say
What's the point?


Emma Thompson: If she was having tea at the Beverly Hills Hotel then I'd say,
Yeah, this works. But this is an wards show and you're a nominee.


Julia Roberts: If it was National Take Your Secretary To Lunch Day this would be a winner.


Michelle Dockery: She looks like a porecelain doll, and by that I mean that dress is so stiff I think it chipped when she walked.


Sandra Bullock: Miss Congeniality? Misfire.


Sofia Vergara: It's a Circus Tent; a Funeral Circus Tent. props for the jewels though.
The Worst:
Tina Fey: Florals are nice ... for drapes ... but this is just too much honey.


Edie Falco: It looks like leftover Christmas wrapping paper.


Taylor Swift: Nancy Drew and The Case of The Dress Wore Her.


Jennifer Lawrence: A white sheet with two black belts. No.


Heidi Klum: Super model? Super dud.


Rashida Jones: Apparently someone liked the wallpaper at The Palms in Vegas so much they ordered a dress to match.


Zooey Deschanel: She said it was Gold, I say it was beige. And boring.


Paula Patton: I couldn't tell if it was Coffee Filters Gone Awry, or if it was the opposite of a Black hole: A White Hole folding in on itself.


Lena Dunham: Honey, you are not a gown girl. And yellow? Honey, no.


Zoe Saldana: She said this was made especially for her. I'm guessing by about ten different designers and then the best parts were piece-mealed into one awful dress.
The Preggers:
Kerry Washington: She looks gorgeous; simple and chic. She really is also one of the Best Dressed from last night.


Olivia Wilde: She goes glitz and glamazon pregnant, though the color and the belly makes me think "Snake swallowed a mouse."


Drew Barrymore: Muumuu sadness.
The Men:
Chris Pine: With a beard; and oh-so-hot.

Bradley Cooper: Imagine being in the middle of a Bradley-Chris sandwich. I am.

Aaron Eckhart: So sexy.

Will Forte: The sleeves seem a little short, but he's adorkable.

Orlando Bloom: He cleaned up nicely.

Beau Bridges: Someone needed a full length mirror to check the shoes ...

George Kotsiopoulos: He's so tiny! And he's a stylist! And he wore pants that are too short and no socks? And he's gay? Somethings wrong here.

Terry Crews: Wrong color, wrong shoe. Wrong.

Kevin Spacey: A velvet tuxedo? Only if you're marching down an aisle carrying a pillow with two rings on it, Kev.

P Diddy: Douche.
The WTF?
Emma Watson: In a gown that is gown in the front, and open in the back, with pants beneath. WTF? Is it a Red Carpet look or a high-end hospital dressing gown?
Old Drunk Hollywood:
Jacqueline Bisset: Let's not even talk about her rambling incoherent speech, and dropping of a sh*t bomb on live TV. Let's talk about running a comb through your hair. Let's talk about getting a gown that fits. Let's talk bad appliques.

6 comments:

Raybeard said...

I'd like to join you as filling for your Pine-Cooper sandwich. If I provide the 'dressing' you can be the 'meat'.

the dogs' mother said...

Oh, Hermione! Pansy Parkison told you this would look good, didn't she??

Biki Honko said...

Whoa! Jacqueline Bisset shouldnt have been without her minders! What a mess she has become.

Lupita was Queen of the Universe in that outfit, what poise she has!

viktor kerney said...

It was so fun to watch

Debbie said...

HILARIOUS AS ALWAYS LOL!!!!

xoxo
dEB

The Cool Cookie said...

Now I LOVED Tina Fey's floral, especially the capey thing at the waist with the reverse pattern for the lining. Tres chic.

Tina always gets the dress right.

Her hair, on the other hair was one her rare fashion mistakes. Too much of a blow out.