Monday, January 27, 2014

Grammy Fashion: Best, Meh, WTF, Worst, Fashole Madonna and Icon Cyndi Lauper

In the interest of total honesty, I loathe everything about Taylor Swift. But last night's Grammy's were a fashion snooze and so this really is the best of the best.
From me to Swifty! Who knew?
Pink. In red. Pink can do no wrong. She can go edgy and rock or glamorous and rule it, and last night she ruled, and rocked.
Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. This is cool Grammy's style, y'all. That cool blue-green velvety tux on Macklemore is great--though he should have rethought the shoes--and Ryan Lewis in extra large herring bone looks all kinds of Grammy style.
Kendrick Lamar, looking cool and suave in anything but just a regular tuxedo. The black t-shirt is an edgy touch.
At first I thought Rita Ora looked like she was headed to a nice dinner and not the Grammy's but then this dress grew on me. Maybe because she's so smoking hot, she could get away with it.
Ciara looks radiant and glowing, and then there's Ciara in that dress: radiant and glowing
Ariana Grande looks like she'd rather be going to prom in this outfit--which looks really cheap, by the way. And she should be.
Anna Faris. This is the definition of Meh. Meh dress and meh hair and meh pose and meh, I'm done.
Beyonce. Girl can pose, but this isn't her wedding, as much as she'd like to believe that Grammy loves her so much it wants to marry her.
Colbie Caillat. It's not a bad dress, though it's a little more Oscar than Grammy, but, damn, the girl lost her neck in that thing. Seriously. She goes shoulders ... then head.
Gloria Estefan. It's not a bad dress, and Gloria is in amazing shape. It's mostly for that face. i believe a new movie as been made about Gloria's face; it's in theaters now and it's called
Katy Perry decided that since she was going to as music awards show, why not wear music on her dress. If she goes to The Oscars, expect rolls of film on her head.
Sidenote: Carlos wondered if the dress played a particular song as she walked the Red Carpet.
Miguel. He could'a looked really hot if he'd changed his mind about wearing the shiny plastic pants. Big mistake. Huge.
Miranda Lambert has recently lost weight--and is looking good--but she needs to have something readjust the breasts, which are wandering around her chest like lost children.
Miranda Lambert looks like she's headed to an wards show while Blake Shelton looks like he's headed to the barn to muck out the stalls.
Steven Tyler looking like he's selling ice cream during commercial breaks.And the high heels on the shoes? Oy.
WTF: Looks like Willie Nelson and Madonna should have called one another before leaving the house in the same outfit. At least Willie mixed it up with some Pippi Longstocking braids.
Yoko Ono. Apparently someone told her this was a casting call for a remake of A Clockwork Orange. She didn't get the part.
Alicia Keyes. This could have been good without the ever-widening gulf between her breasts. It's too try too hard.
Sara Bareilles, AKA Little Bo Peep has lost her ever-loving mind. And then put on orange shoes?
I love Kathy Griffin. I was pleased a s punch she won a Grammy., But this turquoise snake-skin looking mess is just plain awful., It looks like an anaconda is puking up a comedian. 
Paris Hilton , trying to channel Zsa Zsa Gabor at the 1967 Emmy Awards. And failing. I mean, for someone who
ALLEGEDLY smuggles coke in her cooch, she certainly doesn't look very edgy.
Paula Patton. People keep saying she's one of the most beautiful women in the world, but she picks ugly ass clothes to wear. I mean, lions on your breasts roaring at each other. Roar? Was this the dress Katy Perry turned down? Paula's getting Katy's sloppy seconds? Well, she is Robin Thicke's sloppy second, third, fourth and fifth ....
Skylar Grey in a skin tight, flesh colored leather-looking hot mess. It reminds me of something that Hannibal Lechter would design, if you get my meaning ...
Pharrell in a Smoky the Bear meets Arby's counter-person hat, and a jacket roughly three sizes too small. He usually dresses so snappy, so sharp, so right on, that I worry the hat is covering a bandage covering a head trauma. Which would explain the outfit.
Madonna, starring in Desperately Seeking Attention.
Madonna looking like across between Karl Lagerfeld and the Spy v Spy cartoon.
Madonna, with a grill, seriously? A fifty-five-year old woman? She looks like her next flop film project will be A Nightmare On Elm Street: Freddy's Sister.
Madonna: The Grammy Fashole.
Cyndi Lauper can do no wrong. There's always an edge, without the trash; always the style, without the desperation; always the LGBT ally without having to ram it down our throats, so to speak.


SEAN (The Jeep Guy) said...

And Cyndi won the Grammy for Best Musical Theater Album: Kinky Boots!

mistress maddie said...

I don't watch award shows so I was hoping you would do a post. I deal with fashion all week, so I don't even watch the pre show. Nice recap. Cyndi screams great Grammy fashion, and what one would expect a singer to wear at such an event- love the necklace. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis= YUM! They looked great! I think I may need a Macklemore and Lewis sandwich at lunch. Macklemore is beyond hot!!!

Rita Ora looks great, very vintage 50s 60's style dress-love it and the color. Simple and elegant

Ariana Grande? Who? That's not her prom picture? Surely you jest.

Beyoncé. The dress would have been smashing had it been a column dress, side slit, solid lace head to toe, but in black. Hate the hair. I like Beyoncé stacked hair look better

Katy Perry herself looks radiant and LOVED her princess style hair. The dress?

Kathy Griffin, oh my Gawd!!!! Some pregant hooker in Jersey wants her dress back!!!

Madonna, now that was just appalling. What's most distracting to me is the gawd awful hat, the hair and that mug. The suit itself is fitted and tailored, but Jesus H Christ. Are we sure she hasn't gone plum loca?

And thanks Bob for complementing Swifty, were sure to get a HUGE snow storm now. And THANK you for taking the time to put this together!!!!!

the dogs' mother said...

Beyoncé, from the front, committed my favorite Project Runway Sin, almost flashing 'the fine china'.

viktor kerney said...

Madonna... no

anne marie in philly said...

I didn't watch.

taylor/pink/rita/gloria - YES!

queen bey needs to put on some clothes.

katy - HELL NO!

steven/willie/madonna - OMB, too hideous! retire already, please!

PS - ladies, please to be putting yer bewbs UNDER some clothing; NO ONE wants to see the fun bags. you look slutty.

Professor Chaos said...

Gloria Estefan in the red dress looks like Sissy Spacek at the end of Carrie

Biki Honko said...

My God! Madge looks ancient! Did she win the "Trying to Hard to Look Young" award?

Cyndi is perfection, in song and life.

Mark in DE said...

I agree with the majority of your opinions on the Grammy fashions. Although I don't love HER, I did love Beyonce's dress, by Project Runway alumni Michael Costello. I just wish it had been some other color but white. Too bad you didn't comment on Kacey Musgrove's Mexican Christmas tree skirt and light-up boots!

P.S. Can I just say home in love I am with Carlos and his question about Katy Perry's musical dress???

Debbie said...

Agree with everything! I don't watch the show because I just can't stand it. I'm too damn old now. Though I did love Chicago. See .. Old.