It was just a few years back that Dwayne Johnson, er, The Rock, foot-stomped, head-snapped, and hissed that he would never EVER return to the Fast and Furious franchise and yet he made a cameo at the end of this last epic, and then announced that he’ll star in a standalone movie as his character Luke Hobbs. Johnson also said that he and Vin Diesel have smooched and become BFFs again so that they can preserve and protect all these films that are really just the same film in different spots on the globe.
My Thought: Dwayne’s last movie Black Adam was such a bomb he went crawling back to the last thing he did that made money and pressed his lips to Diesel’s ass and cashed that check.
Scientology rapist Danny Masterson was found guilty of rape this week. The jury found him guilty on two counts of rape but were deadlocked on the third. Masterson could have faced more than 40 years in prison for all three charges, but the attorneys say it is unclear how much time he will spend bending over for the soap on “just two” counts.
My Thought: Just two counts of rape? I guess that means you get to rape at least twice to get a light sentence but should think again about that third assault?
If it’s June and you’re as Thirsty as Kate Hudson then it’s that time of year again to bare the tits and ass on Instagram. And so Goldie’s spawn spent Memorial Day Weekend lounging by the pool with her kids—topless—and posted:
“Suns out, buns (and huns) out #summerready.”
My Thought: Somewhere Madonna and Halle Berry are stripping off their bikini tops and bottoms for a pool day photo because The Thirst is real.
Like his pal Robert DeNiro, eighty-three-year-old Al Pacino is set to become a dad for the fourth time after it was revealed that his 29-year-old girlfriend, Noor Alfallah, is eight months pregnant. If all goes as planned Al will be over 100 years old when the kid graduates from high school.
My Thought: Will they do a Weekend at Bernie’s thing and prop the corpse up in a chair, or just make things easy and roll a coffin down the aisle?
PS Al’s oldest child is four years older than his current Baby Mama.
Clearly she has a type. Fifty-one-year-old Erika Jayne was spotted on what appeared to be a Las Vegas date with recently arrested seventy-one-year-old lawyer Jim Wilkes II amid her divorce from eighty-three-year-old disgraced former attorney Tom Girardi.
My Thought: She likes ‘em legal, decades older, and in trouble with the law. She really is a Pretty Mess.
PS Wilkes wants y’all to know he and Erika aren’t dating because he still lives with his wife and they aren’t dating so don’t say that!