Excerpts from Tuxedo's diary, March 27, 2010:
Day 2555 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going
is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the
carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and
dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear
into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However,
they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of
their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn
what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an
attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he
was walking. I must try this again tomorrow—but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other
prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly released—and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously an idiot. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him
communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every
move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe.
For now...
OMG Monty Clift. And could I get a spit roast with Rock Hudson? That man was 6'4" of deliciousness.
ReplyDeleteOk, now that I got that out of the way, Bobo and Large Marge being classless hags is just on brand. Didn't you know?
That ruling in AK is going to cause a domino effect in all the bigoted legislation coming out of Red states. Good!
Now, don't get me started with Elmo and his stupid Twats. Ugh. I can't with his stupidity.
And talking about twitter, that tweet of the week got me ROTFLMAO
XOXO
Hudson doesn't do it for me, even though i like a tall drink of water ... being6'2" myself. But Montgomery Clift? Yes, please.
DeleteI think even some in the GOP are getting tired to the schoolgirl antics of those two morons.
I just read that a judge in Florida is overruling their anti-trans bills.
Lea Black is married to famous lawyer Roy Black and I met her when we lived in Miami and she is a hoot!
xoxo
Omg!!!!!! That picture of Rosita made my whole morning!!!!!! If I was a cat....id so be her.
ReplyDeleteArkansas! Yay! I bet Colonel Sarah Honeybee Saunders head blew!!!
And I think MTV should bring back Celebrity Deathmatch. But in this version it'll be politician death match with the real people not clay figures. These two harpies could be the first two guests.
I think some of these people should raise habits wheelchair up and remove his wheels, just like those people do in the hood on cars.
The only thing missing from that submarine that won't come back is Elon Musk. Why is it he didn't have a seat on there?
Rosita does have Resting Cat Bitch Face.
DeleteAnd I love Aunt Lydia getting her bigotry slapped down.
Abbott and Musk on a sub? yes, please.
Paul Newman for the win! Throw in Steve McQueen and I'd become a towering inferno!
ReplyDeleteLOL -- this is the comment of the day. :)
DeleteI'm not much for McQueen but Newman at any age is a barn-burning inferno!
DeleteCheck the bottom row of your Hollywood Hotties ... you have James Dean and Paul Newman in the wrong spots! You left out Tony Curtis ... 🥴
ReplyDeleteThey're in the right spots, going clockwise from the top left corner.
DeleteThe great thing about MAGATs is they are so ornery they can't cooperate with each other. Everything is a battle and a conspiracy and they are guaranteed to tear each other down.
ReplyDeleteI never knew that Musk has a transgender daughter!! MIND BLOWN. Must go research that.
Why do I have to pick ONE Hollywood Hottie?!
Musk is a terrible human.
DeleteI agree about the hot men, though I could easily pass on James Dean and possibly Hudson.
A sight definitely to be missed; the Zuck taking on Creepy Musk Ox in a cage fight, something I would pay good money to hear nothing about ever again.
ReplyDeleteWolfie had some wiggly tape worms a couple of months ago. After a monumental struggle we got the pill down the throat of the unwilling victim and, hey presto, no more wiggly worms.
If we could lock those two in a cage and then lose the key I might be interested.
Deletethe dog's mother
ReplyDelete(Carlos) (Tuxedo forever)
Beyond crazy what those two bimbos
are doing.
xoxo :-)
Those two just want attention and Marge is mad that bobo stole hers.
Deletexoxo
The MTG / Bobo brawl was almost spectacular, and as someone born in the 50s, I'd have to say that Paul Newman is my fav.
ReplyDeleteI think Paul is in a class by himself, in every decade ... but I do love me some Monty Clift.
DeleteBack in the day, I bought HRH one of those curvy scratching devices. Cost me a fortune. She never touched it once.
ReplyDeleteI don't remember it being too expensive, but Consuelo used it as a scratching post, while Tuxedo used it as a spot to nap, and Rosita uses it for both!
DeleteAnthony Perkins? Sex symbol? I guess I need to see him in something else besides "Psycho" to view him that way. The TOTW is excellent and quite funny - thanks. And Greg Abbott is the biggest turd. Such an evil man.
ReplyDeleteHe was kinda hot back in the day, though Psycho made his hotness more, well, psycho!
DeleteIf Bobo and MTG got into a real cat fight, I bet IQ45 would find a way to monetize it. And the two of them would kiss his a$$ at the same time.
ReplyDeleteAll for show, no substance!
DeleteRosita's face? I would sleep with my eyes open.
ReplyDeleteI wish Discharge Marge and Moron Boebert would have a fight to the death ... and both lose.
What a gift to have Tuxedo's diaries.
Thank goddess for people like Judge Moody.
One? I have to choose One?!? Rock Hudson. No, Montgomery Clift. Wait... Tab Hunter. Yes, definitely Tab Hudson Clift! But Paul Newman was dreamy.
Rosita is quite affectionate but she makes the meanest faces.
DeleteIf Zuckerberg and Musk can have a cage fight, let's get Marge and Bobo in a cage, too.
Tuxedo. :::sigh:::
It is a hard choice for the mens ...
Can we just put your cats in charge of Congress?
ReplyDeleteRosita definitely has zero f**ks to give and we could use that in Congress.
Delete