Thursday, June 02, 2022

Bobservations

When Tuxedo was spryer, he was quite the jumper. He’d jump to high shelves in the closet and then down to the floor, dropping over seven feet each time. He wasn’t allowed on counters—none of the pets at Casa Bob y Carlos are—but because he is The Great Tuxedo, he was allowed on the bathroom counter to drink from the faucet while we brushed our teeth.

Now that’s he’s older and less likely to make that leap, I pick him up and put him on the counter. I let him drink from the faucet while I brush my teeth, and when I am ready to rinse, I mumble, ‘My turn,’ and he wanders away from the sink to sit and wait until I set him back on the ground.

Last night, however, I walked into the bedroom and heard Carlos talking to Tuxedo, saying Tuxedo was ‘very thirsty.’ I went into the bathroom and found Tuxedo at the edge of the sink, with Carlos cupping his hands to make a little basin for Tuxedo to drink from.

I told Carlos then, and I will tell you all now: my husband is severely pussy[cat]whipped.

Try as he might, Tuxedo, and his two dads, cannot understand this country sometimes.

Last week, before Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Basketball Finals the Miami Heat began with a moment of silence in honor of the victims of the Robb Elementary School mass shooting in Uvalde, Texas that ended with this message:

"The Heat urges you to contact your state senator by calling 202-224-3121 to leave a message demanding their support for common sense gun laws. You can also make change at the ballot box. Visit Heat.com/vote to register and let your voice be heard this fall."

Gun control is once again a major issue after last week’s shooting, especially in Florida, where the state's GOP leadership is  pushing for a change in state law to allow residents to carry concealed guns without permits.

CAST A GODDAMNED VOTE!

Oh Marge Traitor Greene. You are really giving Lauren Boebert and Matt Gaetz a run for their money as the Dumbest Member of Congress.

Y’all might recall when Greene warned of Biden’s “gazpacho police”? Rumor has it she meant Gestapo, but maybe Marge was hungry. Well, she’s at it again, this time claiming that the government wants “surveillance on every part of your life,” including on what people are eating:

“Which is very bad because Bill Gates wants you to eat this fake meat that grows in a peach tree dish so you’ll probably get a little zap inside your body that’ll say ‘No, don’t eat a real cheeseburger, you need to eat the fake burger.’”

Peach tree dish?

Seriously, Georgia, between this moron and Herschel Walker, you state Republicans look like you only elect idiots.

The other day I ran a red light and crashed into a man's car; luckily, while both cars were heavily damaged neither one of us was hurt, and I said to the man:

“This must be a sign that we should meet and be friends for  the rest of our lives.”

And he agreed with; that’s when I looked in my car and saw that the bottle of 75-year-old scotch I’d just bought was still intact, surely another sign, and I said:

“Let’s toast to the fact that we survived this crash.”

I handed him the bottle and he took a long swig and handed it back to me. I put the cap on and gave it back to him, and he asked if I was having any, and I replied:

"Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police."

And what if it did happen?

Like McDonald’s did last week, Starbucks is leaving Russia and closing all 130 of its locations after 15 years in business saying:

“[Starbucks] has made the decision to exit and no longer have a brand presence in the [Russian] market."

Starbucks will continue paying its nearly 2,000 employees in Russia for six months and help them find new jobs, but no more Big Macs and no Half-caf, Half-decaf, extra foam lattes for you, comrade.

Now this did happen … a co-worker was telling the story of how he’d been at Food Lion and when the cashier gave him his change, one of the dollars bills had this written on it:

“I suck dick for a dollar.”

Everyone chuckled, but I said:

“I always knew you were a cheap cocksucker.”

Again, why I still have a job, I don’t know.

Over there in the UK a Rainbow 50p coin will be minted to mark the 50th anniversary of the Pride movement in the country.

The coin features Pride in London’s values of Protest, Visibility, Unity, and Equality in rainbows with the Pride progression flag. This will be the first time the LGBTQ+ community has been celebrated on official UK coin, and it begs the question: where’s our coin America?

The US Soccer Federation reached an agreement to pay its men’s and women’s teams equally, making the American national governing body the first in the sport to promise both sexes matching money.

About effing time.

Ah, Iggy Goncalves, a native of Brazil, who worked for Elite Models before he started his own agency, Iggy Models, Inc, and founded Miami Beach Fitness. All well and good, but all that matters is: Would You Hit It?

25 comments:

  1. I'm waiting for a political ad with MTG's head above a caption that reads "this is your brain on drugs." The gun lobby is having a difficult time with the Uvalde shootings because this time there were kids inside texting for help while their friends were being shot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahahahah
    OMG that woman in the tweet? That's me. For real. *cackles*
    And Tuxedo WILL take every chance he has to subjugate humas. It's in the kitty constitution. And he's right about making kids do shooting drills but not allowing them to learn that some people have two daddies. Ugh.
    Marjorie three names is a See You Next Tuesday and Georgia is worse off for having elected her.
    Also, I want that 50p coin.

    XOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll send you one if one turns up in my loose change

      Delete
    2. That Tweet is me, too.
      Tuxedo does run things.
      Marge. Dumb as a box of rocks.
      xoxo

      Delete
  3. Just three things: the mental picture of pussycat whipped Carlos watering El Gato Guapo made me tear up for some reason.
    Heck yeah, I'd pop that Iggy!
    That tweet killed me (I just can't bring myself to say slay)!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Carlos is whipped by all the animals, including myself, in this house!
      I'd do the same as the Tweeter.,

      Delete
  4. Margarine is such a lightweight that it is surprising that her brain cells (what there is of them) don't float out of her gob when she opens it all too often.

    And why is it easier to abuse children by making them undertake shooter drills than to remove the source of the problem?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guns aren't the problem, the GOP and their blood money is.

      Delete
  5. Oooooo, I like the UK's Pride coin! Had a good chuckle at your "cheap cocksucker" quip too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cocksucker was the first thing that popped into my head! Who knew???

      Delete
  6. I won’t deny SG and I would do exactly the same as Carlos. As for Iggy, does Howdy Doody have a wooden ass?!?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I adore Tuxedo, but even I draw the line at that!!!
      And I do know that Iggy has a fabulous ass.

      Delete
  7. Darling....you had me at Brazil!!!!!

    So much good in this post and Carlos and your words never cease to give me a chuckle.

    MTG..... I've long said she is the brightest crayon in the box. He'll. She isn't even near being in the box. Be gone already.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As soon as I saw he was from Brazil, I knew you'd be onboard!
      Carlos and I have had a fun week this week.
      Marge is giving Lauren Boebert a run for her money as the biggest GOP moron.

      Delete
  8. (Carlos) (Tuxedo)
    xoxo :-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I just love Marje's Malapropisms! It's even funnier when someone is trying to sound educated/intelligent and they come out with something like that. A bit like when George W. said "the problem with the French is they don't have a word for "entrepreneur"!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marge is a fool who thinks of herself as a genius.

      Delete
  10. Would I trick with Iggy if I had the chance. No. Cookie has a type and "pretty with a conceited vibe" isn't my type.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm getting the pretty but not the conceited.

      Delete
  11. Would be cool to have pride colors on a coin

    ReplyDelete
  12. The cats rule the world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know they rule our house!

      Delete
  13. Despite the fact that I live here, this is the first I've heard of a UK pride coin! I'm guessing it's not going to circulate. Probably a collector's item, like many of the special coins. But still, pretty cool.

    I'm going to be charitable and suggest that Marjorie Taylor Green was dictating her tweet (or whatever that was) and her iPhone misunderstood her. But still, she's an idiot.

    ReplyDelete

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