I Didn't Say It ...

Dr. Anthony Fauci, member of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, on _____’s lies and misinformation in his daily coronavirus briefings:

“The way it happened is that after he made that statement [suggesting China could have revealed the discovery of coronavirus months earlier], I told the appropriate people, it doesn’t comport, because two or three months earlier would have been September. The next time they sit down with him and talk about what he’s going to say, they will say, by the way, Mr. President, be careful about this and don’t say that. But I can’t jump in front of the microphone and push him down. OK, he said it. Let’s try and get it corrected for the next time.”

No, Dr. Fauci. Correct him on camera, in real time, or else you become part of the spin. You’re the one who knows, you’re the educated man. Speak up so that more people don’t get sick and die.

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Rachel Maddow, on _____ lying to the American public about the effectiveness of a malaria drug against COVID-19:

“I know we ought to be getting used to this kind of thing by now, but I’m not. President ­­­­­_____ today, again, just flat-out wrong in public about this malaria drug that has gotten stuck in his mind, quite some distance from the facts. But the president loves saying things like, you know, ‘There’s a drug we’ve got and it’s very effective. It’s approved already! Everybody’s gonna get it.’ He loves saying things like that because that would be a lovely thing to be able to tell people, unless of course that’s not true in which case telling people a fairytale like that is cruel and harmful and needlessly diverting and wildly irresponsible from anyone in any leadership role. It’s actually wildly irresponsible if somebody said that to you from a bar stool—if any of us could go to bars anymore—but to get that from somebody at the presidential podium? ... There is a clear pattern here in this crisis of the president promising stuff that he knows America would love to hear but it’s not true. And even stuff that he’s saying that he will do that the federal government will do, he’s not doing. I feel like we should inoculate ourselves against the harmful impact of these ongoing false promises and false statements by the president by recognizing that when he is talking about the coronavirus epidemic, more often than not, he is lying. Even when he’s talking about what he has done or what he will do, he is consistently lying and giving you happy talk that is stuff that the federal government isn’t actually doing. ... And so, the sooner we come to terms with that, I think the better for all of us. If it were up to me, and it’s not, I would stop putting those briefings on live TV. Not out of spite but because it’s misinformation. If the president does end up saying anything true, you can run it as tape but if he keeps lying like this every day on stuff this important, all of us should stop broadcasting it. Honestly, it’s gonna cost lives.”

The thing is, no matter issue is facing this country, it has to be about _____, or else he’s not interested.

That’s explains the lies and the stupidity.

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Steve Mnuchin, Secretary of the Treasury, thinks y’all are making too much of this unemployment nonsense:

“To be honest with you, I just think these numbers right now are not relevant whether they’re bigger or smaller in the short term. Obviously, there people who have jobless claims, and, again, the good thing about the bill is the president is protecting those people. They had no choice, now with this bill passed by Congress, there are protections, and as I said, hopefully, those workers will be rehired, but between these three programs, it protects all of American workers. And by the way, you know, lots of big companies do continue to hire, for obviously grocery stores, pharmacies, you know, delivery services. These companies are on overtime, so I know they’re hiring people as fast as they can.”

It’s “irrelevant” to this millionaire that last week 200,000 Americans were unemployed and this week it’s over 3 million.

It's frightening how out of touch the _____ administration is as countless Americans suffer from sickness and death and unemployment thanks to their incompetent response to the coronavirus.

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Chris Hayes, MSNBC news anchor, on _____’s coronavirus FOX News PR blitz on Tuesday in which he announced that he’d like to open the country by Easter:

“After a few days of said war, it seems like _____ is now looking to surrender. Today … _____ announced that he wants to open the country up again by Easter. Why Easter? Because it would be beautiful to see packed churches for the holidays. Easter is two and half weeks away. Other countries that have battled this epidemic have had lockdowns for 60 days. The place with the worst outbreak in the world, Wuhan, China, where all this started, are still in lockdown. Maybe they’ll be out in time for Easter. In the midst of this global pandemic, at this moment of crisis, the president, as he has been doing daily, as he has done since the first case arrived on our shores, went out today and said things that are flat out wrong, that are lies, and more than that, that are dangerous. That’s why we did not play you any sound of what he said today, because frankly, the president has become a kind of—well, he’s a genuine threat to public health, his rhetoric at this point, the things he says.”

Stop airing his briefings, or at least the part where he speaks; he provides nothing new, offers no sympathy, and instead turns it into a Poor Me Rally.

Stop.Airing.Them.

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Trevor Noah, The Daily Show, has another idea:

“You know what we need to do with Donald _____? The same way they bleep out curse words in rap videos, they need to start bleeping out Trump’s misinformation in his press briefings. Every time he’s up there at the podium, they should be ready with the censors.”

If they bleep every time he lies it’ll sound like thousands of alarms going off all at once.

Just stop airing the portion of the briefing where he is speaking lying.

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Ainsley Earhardt, Fox & Friends host, suggested that the economy should reopen so women could get their hair and nails done:

 “Every day, we’re talking about different topics, because we’re moving in hopefully the direction of getting where China is now, or South Korea is now, and just getting some improvement. If you bought clothing before all this happened, if you want to return it, are stores gonna waive that 30-day period where you can get your money back? This not a priority, but women have to get their hair done. I saw someone tweet out, you’re going to see what color our real hair is, because our roots are going to grow in. All my friends are saying—this is not a priority, people are dying, and I realize that—that they can’t get their nails done.”

First off, if she’s not joking, then she’s clearly the biggest idiot at Fox News, which is saying a lot.

If she’s not joking, then she’s clearly the biggest idiot at Fox News, which is saying a lot.

Women are out of work, and a lot of them are not taking care of their children 24/7.hoping they don’t get sick, or even worse, their older parents don’t get sick, but Ainsley boils it all down to hair and nails.

Maybe that’s what the women at Fox News are worried about because as long as their on their knees a few hours a day they still have a job.

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Bill Gates, gazillionaire Microsoft founder, on reopening the country in two weeks:

“We need to shut down so that the worst case that was happening in [Wuhan, China] or Northern Italy, that we avoid that. It’s very tough to say to people, ‘Hey, keep going to restaurants, go buy new houses, ignore that pile of bodies over in the corner. We want you to keep spending because there’s maybe a politician who thinks [gross domestic product] GDP growth is what really counts.’”

Gates suggests a shutdown may need to remain in place for six to 10 weeks.

And that’ll be so close to the election that _____might just freak out and do something dangerous and stupid and totally _____.

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Bryant Culpepper, Okeechobee County Commissioner, on how to stop coronavirus:

“This sounds really goofy, and it did to me too, but it works. Once the temperature reaches 136 degrees Fahrenheit, the virus falls apart, it disintegrates. I said how would you get the temperature up to 136 degrees? The answer was you use a blow dryer. You hold a blow dryer up to your face and you inhale through your nose and it kills all the viruses in your nose.”

I ask that Culpepper try it on TV and have doctors standing by to handle his burns. When he’s better, tell him that hitting himself in the head with a hammer makes the virus run, and let him try tat.

Asshat.

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