I Didn't Say It ...

Rachel Maddow, on Fox News and the GOP for overhyping the Nunes memo:

“That’s it? … This memo will make _____ innocent. This memo will put Robert Mueller in jail. It’ll abolish the FBI! … I can’t believe this is it. I don’t really believe in the whole cable news wars idea. I know people who work across the street at the Fox News channel. I have friends this work there. I think we’re all doing our own thing our own way the best we can, but oh my god. they have been hyping and hyping and huffing and puffing and working their audience into a frenzy for two solid weeks. They have literally built a right-wing public movement that this memo must be released because this memo will fix the _____ presidency. It will fix the Russia scandal for President _____ and make the whole thing go away. Apparently, despite that, apparently they didn’t know or they didn’t notice that this thing they have been clambering for and hyping for two solid weeks, that they have built up this frenzy around disproves their whole point … I will admit to being shocked that this is all they released … They promised the Fox News audience. they promised the country, they talked a big portion of the normal media into believing they were about to shake the earth.”

Did we expect different from the Fat Bastard’s advisors?

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_____, accusing Democrats of “treasonous” behavior for not clapping during his State of the Union address:

“You have the [Democrats] – even on positive news…they were like death. And un-American. Somebody said ‘treasonous.’ I mean, yeah, I guess. Why not? Can we call that treason? Why not?”

You can’t. It’s Free Speech and we still have that in this country though I wish they’d take it away from you.

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Tammy Duckworth, Democratic Senator from Illinois, on _____’s accusation of treason:

“We don't live in a dictatorship or a monarchy. I swore an oath—in the military and in the Senate—to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States, not to mindlessly cater to the whims of Cadet Bone Spurs and clap when he demands I clap.”

Snap, though; girl, snap.

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Claudia Tenney, GOP Representative, goosestepping with _____:

 “I would say it was un-American. And they don’t love our country. I don’t know if I would go as far as treasonous.”

Actually, asshat, it’s the height of being American, being able to speak your mind, because you love this country and don’t want to see it left in the hands of asshats like the Fat Bastard and Claudia Tenney.

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Andy Biggs, GOP Congressman from Arizona, on those so-called “treasonous” Democrats”:

"He might have been a little hyperbolic there, I'm not sure that it's treasonous to sit during the State of the Union address, although it is certainly disrespectful. And I couldn't understand why they wouldn't stand up for 'a nation under God' but they would stand up for some of the things, in the end they might have some 'splaining to do when they meet God (chuckles) but otherwise I think it's just disrespectful, that's all."

Um, Andy, you dumbass. When you meet God, if you meet God, and that’s up for debate, perhaps you can tell Her why you urged _____ to pardon Arizona ex-sheriff and certifiable racist lawbreaker Joe Arpaio.

Oh, and he’s a birther racist, too.

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Hakeem Jeffries, Democratic Congressmna from New York,  on _____”s treason accusations:

“I rise today to say treason is not a laughing matter. It is a serious crime embedded in the Constitution, punishable by death. But since your commander in chief chose to raise it at a political rally, let's have a discussion about treason … Is it treason for a presidential campaign to meet with a hostile foreign power to sell out our democracy and rig the election? Is it treason for a presidential campaign to meet with Russian spies who promise information that was negative about a political opponent and then fail to report that meeting to law enforcement officials? Is it treason for your former National Security Advisor to be a Russian asset sitting at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue doing the bidding of Vladimir Putin? How dare you lecture us about treason. This is not a dictatorship. It's a democracy, and we do not have to stand for a reality show host masquerading as president of the United States."

Mic.Drop.

Bravo, sir.

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Shep Smith, Fox News host, mocking _____’s military parade demands:

 “He could go see the tanks at a military base if he wanted to. Or they could give him replicas. Little mini replicas. I mean, he wants to see what he has. I had some of those when I was a kid.”

Funny, cuz I bet if they gave _____ toy soldiers he’d play with them all day long.

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Joe Biden, on _____’s attacks on the FBI and DOJ:

“This is the first president to make a full-throated, unvarnished attack on the entirety of the FBI. This is to discredit the FBI and discredit his own Justice Department. You know, look, I spent a lot of time traveling around the world. What do you think they’re thinking in Moscow? This is doing everything that Putin ever wanted, sowing doubt about whether or not our justice system is fair, sowing doubt about whether or not there is anything that’s remotely consistent with our Constitution. It’s just — it’s a disaster.”

It’s treason, to borrow a fgavroite new word from the Fat Bastard.

Oh, and …run, Joe, run!

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Seth Meyers, on the Fat Bastard’s plan for a military parade:

“That’s right. Trump wants a military parade. So you’re just going ‘full dictator’ now. Just ‘dick’ wasn’t enough? Man, you had your chance to be in the military and you dodged it. If you want to hold a parade for something you yourself actively avoided, why not throw an IRS Parade or a Parade of Personal Trainers?”

Bwahaha. Personal trainers!

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