This Man Doesn't Want To Be President: Jeb No-Last-Name

So, you’re Jeb Bush and you wanna be president but you don’t wanna remind people that both your father and your brother, especially the brother, were two of the most inept presidents in recent memory, so you plan a campaign strategy that does not ever use your last name.

You’re just Jeb. President Jeb. Not Bush, never Bush.

And still you can’t catch a break. You’ve got Donald [t]Rump, a blowhard of epic proportions, constantly riding you about being low energy, about being a loser, about being a Bush; her even has the nerve to say that George W Bush allowed 9/11 to happen because he was a … you guess it … loser.

But what does Jeb No-Last-Name do about that? Well, he tries to fight back but when you’ve spent weeks and months and countless numbers of dollars trying to distance yourself from your brother, how do you now go about trying to defend him?

You don’t. And you are interviews by Jake Tapper for CNN and you say this:

 “If this election is about how we’re going to fight to get nothing done, then I don’t want anything, I don’t want any part of it. I don’t want to be elected president to sit around and see gridlock just become so dominant that people literally are in decline in their lives. That is not my motivation. I’ve got a lot of really cool things I could do other than sit around, being miserable, listening to people demonize me and feeling compelled to demonize them. That is a joke. Elect Trump if you want that.”

He has better things to do than be President? Um, then Jeb? Why are you running? Why not just call it quits — especially given that you are having trouble paying your team — and go home and do those “cool things”?

Let Donald [t]Rump run; I’d love to see him in a debate with Hillary Clinton, or even Bernie Sanders, where he’ll fumble over his words, call someone a loser or say they’re ugly, and mutter something about making America great again.

Or, better yet, let’s get Ben Carson as the GOP nominee and see Hillary clean his clock with one sentence.

So, Jeb, please, go ahead and go home and find something cool to do … like watching the GOP implode.