Why Is It ...

… that people don’t understand that I am taking part in The May Challenge and so I may give a fuck, or I may not.

… that I had a thirty minute conversation with a co-worker about her weekend and when she finished, I said I was billing her for time wasted.

… that when I went to the doctor with a suspicious looking mole, he said, “They all look that way so you should put him back in the garden.”

… that when my boss said to me, “This is the third time this week we’ve had complaints about your attitude, so you know what that means?” and I said, “It’s Wednesday?”

… that when Carlos made my coffee this morning he handed me the cup and then winked at me; I’ve never been more afraid of a drink in my life!

… that people who say they don’t have time for my bullshit need to wake up earlier.

… that while I was getting gas this morning I noticed the girl on Pump #3 was getting $10. Where the hell was she going, Pump #4?

… that my Serenity Prayer goes like this: God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change; the courage to change direction when I see them coming; and the wisdom not to try to smack some sense into them when I can’t avoid them.

… that the coworker who called me a psychopath doesn’t realize that at least I’m on a path while she is still trying to sort out her life. Right, Melissa?

… that I used to party in fields with people I didn’t know but these days too may people in Aisle 5 is a hard no?