Ain't That America XI

Here we are again with some crazy, and illegal, shiz in the GOP … from The Felon to Border Barbie to the CouchHumper … FauxChristian grifter Mike Johnson … the Pedophile Protection Party … along with some good news, some resistance and some funny …

A self-entitled  asshat who fancies himself a hillbilly … JD Vance’s team had the Army Corps of Engineers in Louisville, Ohio, take the unusual step of changing the outflow of a lake to accommodate a recent boating excursion for his family who were taking yet another vacation.

The Department of Homeland Security is holding up more than $100 million in preapproved funds intended to help hurricane-battered North Carolina clean up storm damage and fix infrastructure still in disrepair almost a year after Helene hit the region.

On July 22, North Carolina Governor Josh Stein sent a letter to DHS Secretary Kristi “DogKiller” Noem urging her to release the funds FEMA had already approved but DHS says FEMA had already “delivered substantial assistance to North Carolina.”

And that’s all! No more! Billionaires need tax breaks and Kristi needs her lips done again and her extensions done again and she has more Kristi Koncentration Kamps to open.

The Kennedy Center is apparently dropping the rainbow ribbon on its lifetime achievement medal following The Fascist takeover. The ribbon will likely be redesigned, possibly in black or gold because the rainbow flag is synonymous with the LGBTQ+ community and that annoys the Diddler on the Roof.

Of note: the ribbon has nothing to do with the LGBTQ+ community; the rainbow ribbon simply symbolizes the wide spectrum of skills and diversity within the performing arts but … scare the base.

House Speaker Mike Johnson is accused of using campaign money to pay his rent according to the Campaign Legal Center who described it as a “clear-cut violation of federal campaign finance laws.” Johnson is currently residing at the home of GOP colleague, Representative Darrell Issa. The complaint detailed five campaign fund disbursements of $2,500, or $12,500 in total, for “rent” to Greene Properties Inc., which is owned by Issa.

Sidenote: Johnson claims he doesn’t have a personal checking account but you know who else doesn’t have checking accounts? Drug dealers and criminals. Just sayin.’

The US Air Force announced it would deny all transgender service members who have served between 15 and 18 years in the military the option to retire early and would instead separate them without retirement benefits.

Transgender men and women who served their country honorably, unlike President Cankles AKA Cadet Bone Spurs AKA The Draft Dodger AKA The Fat Gelatinous Tub of Hate, will have to take a lump-sum separation payment or be removed from the service.

Fuck him.

During an interview with Newsmax, The Felon was asked about KKKaroline Leavitt’s performance during her daily press briefings, and he said:

“She’s become a star. It’s that face, it’s that brain, it’s those lips, the way they move, they move like—she’s a machine gun.”

Those lips are pressed firmly to The Felon’s ass no matter what pervy thing he says.

The Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations released a report unveiling that Leon Skum’s brainchild, DOGE, had generated at least $21.7 billion in waste across the federal government between January 20, 2025, and July 18, 2025.

Think of how many children could be fed, how many unhoused people given a place to live, for $21.7 billion.

The official GOP social media accounts posted an image of The Felon standing in front of a car with a caption saying, “Making Automobiles Great Again.”

Sadly, the car pictured was not an American car, but the Russian Lada.

The stupid, it burns.

Stephen Falco, the so-called “christian” leader of an Indianapolis church is calling for members of the LGBTQ+ community to be put to death or to kill themselves:

“There’s nothing good to be proud about being a faggot. You ought to blow yourself in the head … you’re so disgusting. A bunch of faggots that want to come around, walk on our streets, and demand our children.”

Why is this important? Indiana Lt. Gov. Micah Beckwith publicly shared his invitation to the “death to gays” church.

PS Beckwith better be careful. He has a severe case of gay face.

PPS Falco should be careful because every single day another so-called man of god is arrested for being a child molester.

Stephen Miller AKA Pee Wee German told Fox News he wants ICE to arrest 3,000 or more immigrants per day.

Of note, no mention of those arrested being criminals. Just brown people with accents.

Stephen Adams, the GOP President of the Utah Senate, just intervened to loosen the age of consent laws after an adult was charged with having sex with a thirteen-year-old child.

The adult in question is a relative of Adams.

The GOP has become the Pedophile Party.

When Democrat Representative Delia Ramirez, a Guatemalan American representing Illinois’s 3rd district, spoke at the Pan-American Congress in Mexico City, she infuriated MAGAts, the GOP and the Department of Homeland Security because they say she said:

"I’m a proud Guatemalan, before I’m an American.”

A video of the event shows Ramirez, who began her speech in English, concluded her remarks with a few words in Spanish …

“Yo soy guatemalteca con mucho orgullo porque primero que soy americana.”

… which translates roughly to:

“I am Guatemalan with great pride because first and foremost I am American.”

But, hey, when you can lie and spread hate why not do that, eh GOP?

JD Vance is on a summer break in Britain even though he’s not always been such a fan of that country once branding it an “Islamist” hellhole bent on ending free speech.

Locals have sworn to make Vance’s vacation as uncomfortable as his recent ski outing in Vermont, where he was accosted by protesters at every turn.

By the way, JD Vance has taken SEVEN vacations in his first 6 months in office: Vermont, India, Greenland, the Vatican, Disneyland, the UK, and Ohio.

Meanwhile, Americans are trying to afford groceries, rent, and meds while getting crushed by taxes and tariffs.

The Smithsonian National Museum of American History is reinstating the references to The Felon's two impeachments in its "American Presidency" exhibit. The museum had previously removed a temporary placard mentioning the impeachments, prompting criticism and accusations of bowing to political pressure but the museum maintains the removal was to address current events and make way for a more permanent update.

He tried to erase history but we will never forget.

Texas House Speaker Dustin Burrows tried to gather a quorum to hold a vote on a new congressional map that could flip five Democrat seats to Republicans last week but with more than 50 Democrats nowhere near the Capitol, it didn’t happen.

Representative Gene Wu, chair of the House Democratic Caucus, is fighting an attempt by Attorney General Ken Paxton to vacate him from his elected office if he doesn’t return to the chamber.

 Republicans are asking The Felon to send the FBI to arrest House Democrats to aid and abet the GOP into cheating a win for The Felon.

Democrats’ best bet to flip a Long Island House seat that’s been red for more than a decade falls on Chris Gallant is a Black Hawk pilot, Army veteran, national guardsman, former air traffic controller and union leader , volunteer firefighter and out gay man.

Gallant is looking to turn that stellar resume into a competitive political campaign and help the Democratic Party retake the House majority in 2026.

Vote Blue Long Island.

The Republican-controlled Senate Appropriations Committee dealt a crushing defeat to The Felon by rejecting his brutal cuts to the National Institutes of Health and instead increased the NIH budget by $400 million.

Snap.

Audience members attending a town hall for GOP Representative Mike Flood in Nebraska began booing and jeering Flood shortly after the event started.

Flood kicked off the town hall by talking about The Felon’s “Big Beautiful Bill,” focusing on health care implications for Nebraskans and when he told the crowd there is a work requirement to receive health care, many attendees booed.

The crowd also chanted “tax the rich,” which Flood addressed. He argued that a Democratic plan to raise taxes on the high-income households would hurt businesses and employment. His response did little to quell backlash from audience members.

It’s the same old song-and-dance; the GOP gives tax breaks to the rich telling the rest of America that it will help everyone and yet it never does.

Vote Blue.

Roland Mehrez Beainy, originally from Lebanon and owner of the recently opened Trump Burger restaurant in Houston is facing deportation after failing to leave the U.S. on time and being arrested by the ICEstapo.

I mean, come on! You vote for a guy that says he wants to deport “illegals” and then you open a burger place in his name and then you get deported?

Sorry, not sorry, as Judge Judy would say, “You picked him.”

To celebrate his 41st birthday, the GOP gave JD Vance’s waistline a digital nip and tuck as seen in a photo of Vance overlaid with the message:

“Happy Birthday Vice President J.D. Vance.”

Vance’s left thumb seems to have thinned itself into oblivion, while the stars on the flag behind him—particularly around his head—look distorted and blurred. His right triceps seem almost to vanish, blending into a misshapen arm that doesn’t quite align with the rest of his physique.

And compared to the original image, which was taken on Inauguration Day as Vance arrived to take the oath of office at the Capitol, the space between his waist and right arm appears widened—possibly to make his torso look slimmer.

They left the mascara on though.

Funny, cuz it’s true.

You know what to do …