It's Snarkurday!

50 Cent is a petty lil bitch; I mean, you always hear about women catfighting, but Fiddy is the queen of the catfight.

It seems that he and fellow rapper Ja Rule have hated each other for years and recently, after one of Ja’s shows was cancelled, Fiddy trolled him with this:

“Only 10 tickets sold don’t nobody want to see that shit, you talking about wait we get a lot of people on the walk up. Get the fuck outta here get the strap.”

Yeah, I’m not sure what it means either, because Fiddy don’t know punctuation, but, to add insult to injury he then bought all the front row seats at another Ja Rule show so they would be empty on the night of the performance.

Like I said, petty lil bitch.

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Beyoncé changes her weave and it becomes news, so how does former bandmate Kelly Rowland keep her name in the papers?

By posting a picture of herself in which her skin appears to be several shades lighter than normal, and then taking on the ALLEGED trolls who think she bleaches her skin:

“Don’t go saying stupid stuff like that. You ever thought that it could be the lighting? I am still chocolate, forever chocolate, proud to be chocolate, shoutout to all my chocolate girls.”

Girl, bye; no one needs your Fake New story.

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Kanye West has designed T-shirts encouraging black people to exit—or Blexit–the Democratic Party.

I’m designing Kexit for people leaving Kanye West. That’s all.

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Every year Casamigos Tequila holds a Halloween party in LA where A-listers mingle with B-listers, C-listers … and Kathy Griffin.

And you just know that booze and costumes are a recipe for d-i-saster, and so when you throw in former Real Housewife and media whore Brandi Glanville, the recipe gets doubled.

It seems Glanville attended the party with a female friend whose ex-boyfriend, Kobie Randolph, aka DJ K-LUV, turned up, too.

And Kobie claims his ex-girlfriend assaulted him—punching him in the face and splitting his lip—and then Brandi jumped in, too, but … Brandi told cops she broke up the fight. I know! Let that sink in … Brandi Glanville broke up a fight.

Anyway, even though Randolph filed a police report for battery, no one was arrested, but like I said ….

Liquor + costumes + Brandi Glanville = d-i-saster.

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It’s time for another piece of the saga that is the Nicki Minaj-Cardi B feud.

A few weeks ago, the two singers had a fight on a red carpet with Cardi B hurling a shoe and Nicki hurling F-bombs.

So, what’s happening now? Well, Nicki’s talking and talking about Cardi B because her own tour was canceled—people are over Miss Minaj—and so she’s stirring the shiz.

Nicki began saying Cardi wasn’t assaulted by one of Nicki’s bodyguards at that fashion event, and Nicki is claiming Cardi is exerting some of her “influence” to keep people from collaborating with Nicki. Nicki is also claiming that no matter what Cardi says, she did not reveal the B’s private phone number.

Cardi reacted with this:

“I’m tired of the f**king whole internet sh*t, I’m tired of the interview sh*t. If you really wanna talk about it, you know where to link me … We can talk about it, or we can fight it out. I’m with whatever.” 

Then Nicki Tweeted: 

“I’ll pay you to take a lie detector test about every claim I made [but] you won’t. I must admit you’re a convincing liar.” 

Then Nicki claimed she was through:

“I know this stuff is entertaining & funny to a lot of people but I won’t be discussing this nonsense anymore.” 

Odd, since Nicki’s the one who restarted the feud, but I guess when your relevancy is slipping, and your ego is taking a beating, you’ll do whatever it takes to keep your name in the news.

At least she’s not talking about how she doesn’t bleach her skin.

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Oh Paltrow, again? Gwyneth Paltrow’s favorite child, GOOP, is in trouble again. After being ordered to fork over $145,000 because of the vagina eggs they were shilling, GOOP is now in trouble in the UK.

The Sunday Times claims GOOP is being “reported to British regulators over 113 alleged breaches of advertising law.” 

The issue at the center of this mess is a vitamin supplement packet marketed to pregnant women called The Mother Load which contains a high amount of vitamin A and too much vitamin A during pregnancy can “lead to birth defects and liver toxicity.” 

Naturally, a spokesperson for GOOP was at the ready:

“When used as recommended, Goop’s The Mother Load supplements are safe during pregnancy … The Mother Load contains a very moderate 450 mcg of vitamin A which is less than the recommended daily intake of 600 mcg per day … The 4000 IU beta-carotene included in Mother Load is only converted in the body to vitamin A as needed, and there is no safety concern for eating this, as there would be no safety concern for eating a large number of carrots containing beta-carotene.”

The statement did admit that the “concern is that pregnant women not consume excessive vitamin A,” and added that “moderation is the best policy.” 

Seriously, the company that sells t-shirts for a grand-and-a-half is suggesting moderation?

Someone get Gwyneth’s $900,0000 fainting couch ready.

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Last week we talked about That Woman gifting her BFF with a trip to the plastic surgeon for her birthday, and now we learn that one of That Woman’s demon spawn, Kylie, has gifted her with a brand-new $250,000Ferrari for her 666th birthday.

Of course, the gift exchange took place on camera and once That Woman slithered into and then out of the driver’s seat the car was taken back to the dealer and then sold at a greatly reduced price.

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A year ago, Today was sending Matt Lauer to The Old Sexual Predator’s Home while trying to find a way to keep the coins from the year-and-a-half left on his $20 million a year contract for themselves. Naturally, Lauer wanted it all and ALLEGEDLY got nothing, but now it’s Megyn Kelly’s turn.

Kelly was halfway through her $69 million three-year contract with NBC News when she got the axe for her racist insensitivity and now she wants every single penny left on her deal and is refusing to sign a non-disclosure agreement. 

NBC News chairman Andy Lack doesn’t wanna give up the coins and seems to be saying that Kelly’s idiotic blackface comments broke her morals clause and so she gets no mo money.

Sources—and it might be Lauer who may be sleeping on the Today Show set—say that it’s not known how this will pan out, and it all depends on how hard Megyn’s lawyers fight against NBC’s lawyers for that check.

We’ll get a clue when the wine budget for Hoda and Kathie Lee comes in; if it’s up, Kelly’s screwed, but if it’s down, she’s scored some big bucks.

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About a year ago, rumors broke about Sarah Jessica Parker and another SATC movie, and how Kim Cattrall was ruining it all by refusing to come back to that tired saga. And suddenly the press was attacking Cattrall, calling her a diva and “difficult” and “greedy,” claiming she was ruining SATC for the world—while I think she did us a favor by taking it off life-support—because she’s an awful person.

The controversy heated up again when SJP, acting just so sweet and innocent, dismissed Cattrall in the press—using her lap-dog, Andy Cohen to help smear Kim—even when Cattrall was mourning the loss of her brother.

Cattrall then slammed SJP for her fakery on social media, calling out her phony nice-girl persona and after that, for a while at least, SJP shut up and the feud seemed over.

But SJP just can’t help herself, and is once again letting everyone know that she never did anything wrong and that Kim Cattrall is the bad guy:

“If one more person calls this a catfight… I’m not in a fight. I never fought with Kim … She has felt perfectly comfortable to say lots of things—that’s the beauty of living in a democracy—but I have no apologies, meaning, this isn’t a catfight. This is someone who chose to talk about something and myself, I remain grateful for her work and the role she played on and off camera for all the years we spent together.”

Someone who “chose to talk”? Um, yeah, Kim talked, and said she didn’t want to do an SATC again, and then talked when SJP went after her in her passive-aggressive, woe is me, I’m so nice way; and then Kim closed her mouth and yet SJP keeps talking.

And sure, SJP didn’t use her own voice to attack Kim; she used Cohen and Kristin Davis and supporting players on SATC and day players, to smear Kim Cattrall, while Kim used her own voice and spoke her own truth and then shut up.

If there isn’t a catfight, Sarah, it’s on Kim’s side because she’s moved on; you’re the one keeping it alive.

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More Kanye ... 

After his insane visit to the White House, amongst all his Twit-Rambles and his new line of Blexit shirts, this week the rapper/lunatic claimed he was being used by the politicians and is now swearing off politics for good.

If only he’d swear off Twitter …and music …and fashion… too.

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