Saturday, July 01, 2017

It's Snarkurday!

So, Iggy Azalea. I don’t know her. And I don’t know who, or what, Halsey is, either, but apparently Halsey, who is bi-racial, and has blue hair apparently, fired some shady shots at Iggy, calling her a “moron” with a “complete disregard for black culture.” 

M’kay. And so then, Iggy talked about Halsey while on an Australia radio show, saying she was surprised Halsey came for her and said she wouldn’t have done the same because she doesn’t come for people she doesn’t know:
“Yeah, it’s a bit weird to bring someone up in an interview that you weren’t asked about. It’s kind of like if we were talking right now and then I just like, randomly started talking about Janet Jackson ... For me, because I’m a famous person obviously and I know a lot of the time people have opinions and they’re not always accurate, so I really try very hard not to give my personal opinions about people that I don’t know. I don’t know her.”
Mariah Carey’s lawyers are thinking of filing a copyright infringement lawsuit against Iggy because “I don’t know her” is a Mimi Trademark.
Speaking of Mimi, after her cameo in The House was scrubbed because of her diva antics, she flew into Tel Aviv to promote her partnership with skincare line, Premier Dead Sea Cosmetics.

Mimi wanted to talk beauty and Mimi, her two favorite topics, but the press wanted to discuss James Packer, her billionaire ex, and his possible involvement in a corruption scandal.

See, Packer is friends with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who is under investigation for ALLEGEDLY accepting illegal gifts from rich businesspeople ... like James Packer who ALLEGEDLY wanted to buy himself some Israeli citizenship for tax reasons. Packer ALLEGEDLY gifted members of the Netanyahu family with vacations and use of his private jet, and even gave free tickets to see Mimi perform in Israel in 2015—I kid, perform? I mean totter around on hooker heels and lip sync.

So, when Mimi met with reporters to push Premier Dead Sea Cosmetics she was asked about Packer and acted as though she had no idea who he was before muttering something about staying out of politics. And when the reporter brought up the free concert tickets, Mimi tried to joke her way out of it before awkwardly saying she feels bad if that happened. Then came a question about a dinner Mimi and Packer had with the Netanyahus, and if she remembered any “gift giving.”

Mimi said all she remembered was the food. Go figure. Mimi and food, til death do they part.
Real Housewife of New York, and Pinot Grigio slurper, Ramona Singer had a “meltdown” in the Hamptons recently when she confronted publicist Anna Rothschild and accused her of tattling about Singer and her ex-husband Mario Singer’s 2014 affair with Kasey Dexter.

While witnesses said Ramona—who divorced Mario last year—“had a meltdown” and “screamed” at Rothschild, saying she was “evil, horrible . . . you broke up my family,” Rothschild calmly replied:
“Your husband was the one who left you and broke up your family.”
Afterwards, i.e. after sobering up, Singer tried to downplay the incident by saying she “merely expressed to her that I felt it was a low blow to ... [release] private information on my then-marriage and family.”

A Singer alcohol-induced meltdown and no Bravo cameras around to capture it? Then maybe it didn’t really happen.
Lord help us all, but ... Lindsay Lohan is trying to be the new GOOP.

Last week Lohan announced on Instagram and Twitter that she had launched a subscription-based lifestyle site called, wait for it, Lindsay Lohan.

I would’a gone with LOOPY.

But, for just $2.99 a month, you can have access to Lindsay’s life, beauty secrets and lifestyle tips ... like how to apply make-up for a mugshot, how many lawyers to have on speed dial after a bar brawl, how to wangle a better color than orange for a jumpsuit.

I think, though, for $3.99, you might get Lindsay After Dark and already several Russian businessmen are plunking down rubles that for that one,

Just sayin’.
Media whore Kelly Osbourne marched in NYC’s Pride Parade last week because, media whore, but the big story was that, while marching, Kelly really had to go and so she ducked into a Starbucks to use the bathroom and says the baristas gave her the “The toilet is for customers only” spiel and so Kelly Osbourne pissed herself.

Seriously? Why didn’t she just buy something then? Oh yeah, media whore; if she’d bought something she wouldn’t have peed in her shoes and then traipsed all over social media to complain about how hard her life is, without ever thinking that the Starbucks bathroom is for customers and not the tens of thousands of people marching down NYC’s already urine-soaked streets.

But Starbucks Corporate told their side of the story and essentially pissed on Kelly Osbourne again by saying that particular Starbucks has no bathroom and that customers are “typically directed to a store a few blocks away.”

I guess Kelly just couldn’t make it or else, yeah, media whore.
The finale of HBO’s Silicon Valley aired this week and marked the final appearance of  T.J. Miller.

Last month it was announced that Miller and producers had “mutually agreed” this season would be his last, but then T.J. started talking and talking and ... maybe it wasn’t so mutual?

Miller says he never spoke to executive producer Alec Berg about his decision to leave because “I don’t like Alec,” and, “I don’t know how smart [Alec] is. He went to Harvard, and we all know those kids are fucking idiots. That Crimson trash.”

Burning bridges. That’ll play well in Hollywood.

Congrats T.J. you’ve officially become the new Sean Young or Katherine Heigl. Good luck squeezing into that cat-suit or hawking kitty litter

Google “Sean Young Catwoman” and “Katherine Heigl Kitty Litter” if you wanna know.
Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner are their mother’s daughters because they’ll do anything for attention ... like literally stealing images of famous African-American rap artists and putting their own Jenner-branded stink on them.

Seriously; the Kendall + Kylie clothing line has a bunch of vintage-style t-shirts for “bands” and rap artists, like Biggie and Tupac, and then they stamped their own faces on the shirts too, because when you think Biggie or Tupac you also think untalented hacks who’ve become famous because their older sister fucked on camera and their mother sold that video.

But, as soon as the t-shirts went on sale online, everyone was outraged and suddenly the t-shirts were pulled from the online store, and so Kendall took to Twitter to apologize and actually uttered the line:
“These designs were not well thought out.” 
Ya think? Because nothing Jenner or Kardastrophe is ever fully thought out, except for how it might keep their names in the press.

That Woman must be sqeeeeeeeing all over herself.
Something new has been revealed in the filing of Johnny Depp’s lawsuit against his former managers, The Management Group [TMG].

TMG filed an extensive chronology of their communications with Depp to prove they had informed him of his extensive money issues for years and to prove he has a history of lying publicly and a history of paying people off to lie for him.

The lie in question is that Johnny Depp had full knowledge that his two dogs, Boo and Pistol, were being smuggled into Australia in 2015.

Depp, working on Pirates of the Caribbean 5 at the time, claimed Amber and some staffers “accidentally” smuggled in the dogs, which is against Aussie laws. Heard ended up pleading guilty to a minor charge and paid a fine.

But now TMG says Depp was “fully aware that he was illegally bringing his dogs to Australia, and when confronted [he] heavily pressured one of his long-term employees to ‘take the fall.’”

And so there’s a slight chance Johnny Depp could face perjury charges; Australian Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce:
“If the allegation is correct, there’s a word for that—it is called perjury. We’re an island continent and we take biosecurity very seriously and it doesn’t matter if you think that you’re Mr. Who’s Who of Hollywood, you’re going to obey our laws.”
Now, it’s probably just huffing and puffing by Joyce, but it’d be kinda sweet to see Depp up on perjury charges since he ALLEGEDLY had his then wife, and then employee, take the fall for the Dog Smuggling.
Again, someone I do not know: Hannibal Buress.

But he’s apparently in the new Spider-Man: Homecoming and recently walked the red carpet at the LA premiere ... or did he?

For whatever reason, the real Hannibal Buress didn’t want to go to the premiere, so he ALLEGEDLY put out an open call on Twitter—which has since been deleted—asking for a look-a-like with “solid comedic timing” to go in his place. He asked all interested candidates to provide pictures, and if chosen, they would receive $500 compensation. And then he chose LA actor and screenwriter Joe Carroll.

Buress best be careful lest Joe Carroll make a better Buress impression and instead of producers asking for Buress, they’ll start asking for a Buress look-a-like.


anne marie in philly said...

trashy hos and slimy guys - must be snarkurday!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

500 bucks? Cheapskate.

Blobby said...

I can front you the $2.99 per month. It'd be worth it for your blog posts after you get your content.

Harry Hamid said...

"Premier Dead Sea Cosmetics." Maybe that sounds more appealing in some parts of the world.

Johnny Depp might be able to do an apology clip again where he stares dead-faced into the camera and says how serious Australia's laws against bringing animals into the country is.

Sheila Morris said...

OMG, Bob - how in the world do you ever keep up with this information on celebs or celebs-in-waiting??
My mind is spinning from the references to people who apparently lead appalling lives, but I am so out of any loops I don't recognize most of them.
Exceptions: Osbourne and Mariah Carey.
I will continue to check in with you for updates!
Have a Happy Fourth of July!!

Bob Slatten said...

Thanks Shelia ... it's an ugly job, but someone's got to do it!

Happy 4th to you and yours!