Thursday, May 05, 2016

Random Musings

Co-worker: “We had dinner with [a fellow coworker] the other night and I was schooled on how to say “tiramisu.”

[He pronounced it tier-ah-me-sue, emphasis on the ‘me’ … which I learned through Google is correct]

Me: “I say tiramisu.”

[I pronounced it tier-ah-me-sue, emphasis on the ‘sue’ … which I learned through Google is also correct]

Co-worker: “She says that’s the way you say it, but why does she have to school me like?”

Me: “I would’a said, ‘Um, quick question [fellow co-worker], is it pronounced Fuck you or Fook you?”
In all fairness I loathe Will Ferrell. I have never, and before you ask, I mean I gave never found him funny in anything anywhere anytime ever.

And then I’d heard that Ferrell was going to produce and star in ‘Reagan,’ which has been described as a “dementia comedy” about Reagan’s second term which goes something like this:

At the beginning of President Reagan’s second term he “falls into dementia” and is convinced that he’s actually an actor playing the president in a movie.

Yeah, because dementia is funny. Again, I loathe Will Ferrell and the good news is that when the idea of the film was revealed people went nuts because, again, dementia isn’t funny, and Ferrell has, for now, pulled the plug.

Cuz he’s not funny.
I did chuckle last week when former Weeper of the House, John Boehner, failed presidential contender Ted Cruz ‘Lucifer in the flesh’, but not everyone was pleased by that characterization; Satanists are pissed, saying there is no comparison between the incarnation of evil and a red guy with a tail.

So here’s what the Satanic Temple had to say:
“Cruz’s failures of reason, compassion, decency, and humanity are products of his Christian pandering, if not an actual Christian faith. It grows tedious when pedophile priests and loathsome politicians are conveniently dismissed as Satanic, even as they spew biblical verse and prostrate themselves before the cross, recruiting the Christian faithful. Satanists will have nothing to do with any of them.”
Now, to be fair, the Satanic Church is mostly a group of non-theistic activists who eschew all religions and adhere to a set of humanistic tenets that promote compassion and reason.

Still, when even the Devil is pissed that Ted Cruz is compared to him, you gotta pay attention.
Not because of his first name … but my choice to win this season of RuPaul’s Drag Race is … Bob the Drag Queen.
She’s fierce and funny and serves the LGBT community with tea and shade and love.
From the Too Stupid To Be Allowed Out In Public With Regular Folk File:

Stacy Pincus, an Illinois woman, has filed a $5 million lawsuit against Starbucks for putting too much ice in her ice coffee.

Now, her lawsuit is open. Meaning other loons who cannot say, “I’d like an ice coffee, ice on the side,” or “I’ll have an ice coffee, but not so much ice,” can join in the stupidity.

In addition to the millions of dollars, Stacy Pincus wants Starbucks to list their Iced Drinks by how many fluid ounces of liquid are in the drink and not by the size of the cup.

For me, I’d like to get on down to WalMart, find a cheap coffee machine and a bag of ice and send them to Stacy Pincus and tell her to stay the eff home.

In response, Starbucks says when customers order cold drinks they expect them to be … cold.
So, while at my Dad’s house we watched an episode of Masterpiece Theater, a series called Grantchester, about an English crime-solving priest. It was lighthearted and fun and hot, because the priest is played James Norton, right. Ooh.La.La.

There is also a show on our DVR called Game of Silence. We haven’t begun watching it but I did notice that it stars David Lyons, left, who has been on many shows before and he just oozes sex appeal … in my opinion.
Thanks Obama!

President Obama is poised to declare the first-ever national monument recognizing the struggle for LGBT rights by singling out a sliver of green space and part of the surrounding Greenwich Village neighborhood as the birthplace of America’s modern gay liberation movement.

This would be the first national monument that included a bar — Stonewall — and a neighborhood of narrow streets rather than a rural setting, a mountainous piece of land, a desert or some other natural landscape.

Barring a last-minute complication — city officials are still investigating the history of the land title — President Obama is prepared to designate the area as part of the National Park Service as soon as next month … the beginning of pride Celebrations around the country.

Again, thanks Obama.
Before he dropped out of the race that god told him to enter — begging the question: is there a God? — I watched a video where Ted Cruz tried to reason with a [t]Rump supporter … which is a near impossible feat.

I almost felt sorry for the Teabagging Senator as the guy went all [t]Rump and refused to listen and kept saying, “Lyin’ Ted! Lyin’ Ted.”

Then I remembered that this was Ted Cruz and I was all, “F**k him.”
Carlos plays trumpet in a local community band.

While in Oregon he bought a sticker with a treble clef on it.

This morning he comes into the office with the sticker and a Human Rights Campaign sticker, and …

Carlos: I think I’ll put both of these on my trumpet case!

Bob: Aren’t you worried the football team will beat you up in the cafeteria at lunch?
Carlos: What?

Bob: Nothing.
Lastly, John Kasich followed in Ted Cruz’s footsteps this week and also dropped out of the presidential race. He said he would sit and pray for advice about what God had in store for him now.

Um, Johnny? God never planned for you to be president. She has a lot of things on her plate, around the mother**king universe for Her sake, and has little time for the aspirations of a Republican.

Get a life.


anne marie in philly said...

carlos and his stickers - hahahahaha! I have 2 HRC equiality stickers on my car AND a bernie sanders sticker AND 2 MST3K stickers.

GOP = asshats of the first order.

Dave R said...

I've been waiting to hear Cruz provide insight as to why the omnipotent one put a divine foot on Ted's political brakes.

the dogs' mother said...

You know you've got problems when the Satanists will not claim you...!

mistress maddie said...

I couldn't believe that Starbucks bitch when I heard that. Good luck trying to win that one. I'm pretty sure Bob will win, the queen, well you know, the one that wears a wig. He is the only one well rounded. Naomi is pretty, but not very warm. Kim Chi is extremely stunning and creative, but mostly editorial in my opinion. Did I mention were glad your back?

mistress maddie said...

Ps. I loathe will Ferrell also. What a stupid movie concept

Biki Honko said...

I loathe it when people say, "By the grace of god we won the game/race/war/etc. And when grown adults ask god/jesus to guide their steps for the present and future, it makes me think they are still children who need a nightlight AND the hallway light on at night.

Glad you're back I missed you!

Blobby said...

Will Farrell was funny in 'Bewitched'. oh he wasn't. He is very very overrated, yet people keep hiring him. Why? Was David Spade or Rob Schnider unavailable?

Fearsome Beard said...

I haven't had KFC in ages, sounds like it might be worth a trip these days....hmmmm.

Helen Lashbrook said...

Five million $ for 2 many ice cubes? Sometimes (about every five minutes) I wonder where the world is going to. Perdition by the sound of it; perhaps we could all sue someone....God?