Monday, May 09, 2016

Liberty University To Allow Guns In Dorms!

Virginia’s Liberty University President, Jerry Falwell Jr, has announced that from this day forward students will be allowed to carry concealed handgun — if they have a permit — in their dorm rooms.

Yeah, I see this working out really well.

Now, to be fair, and I am nothing if not fair here at ISBL, those students will not be allowed to arm themselves without permission from the school first and the guns would be kept in safes inside the residence halls.

Unless, you know, some lunatic with a gun permit decides he or she wants their gun and goes and gets it and then goes on a killing spree, but that could never happen in America, right?

The move comes on the heels of Falwell’s announcement last year, in the wake of the San Bernardino shootings, that eligible students could carry guns anywhere on campus:
"I've always thought if more good people had concealed carry permits, then we could end those Muslims before they walked in."
Um, Jerry? Asshat? Who gets to decide who the “good” people are? Asking for a friend.

See, all it takes is one not so good person with access to a gun and permission to carry it anywhere at all for something bad to happen, but don’t think about that Jerry.

After all, dead students don’t stay in our thoughts for long.

7 comments:

  1. I wonder what the criteria are in order to obtain permission to own a gun on school premises. But what I DON'T wonder is if, being a Muslim, that alone disqualifies one.

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  2. Since the wildly-misnamed Liberty University is a so-called Christian school, I suppose the next step will be issuing guns to students upon matriculation the way some institution of higher learning issue laptops or tablets to incoming students.

    You know, in keeping with those famous words of Jesus in the Sermon on the Tank, "Verily, verily, I say unto you: Shoot first and ask questions later. If you kill an innocent person, your Father in Heaven will forgive you because you know not what you do."

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  3. Someone walks in without a permit and starts firing.
    In the panic and chaos the students who have guns go
    find the resident advisor and get them to unlock the
    safe and by then the police have most likely arrived,
    who are trained to deal with this and shoots the bad
    guy. Hopefully not the students with permission as
    things get confusing in these situations.
    How about we work more with technology, registration,
    etc?

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  4. ASSHATS of the first order!

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  5. Anonymous3:42 PM

    I'd be most worried about someone cleaning their "unloaded" gun in the next room.

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  6. "End those Muslims". That line says it all. I can't think of a single slur that expresses my disgust for this person.

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  7. Perhaps Michael is being prescient; the sermon on the tank might encourage those wanting to go big to trade up from an AK47 and have a tank to save them from the bad guys.

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