Bitchy and Catty? Sit By Me ....

Since I learned about ‘Feud’ last week — for anyone who missed it, it’s a new Ryan Murphy series about epic feuds, the first season being the feud between Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, I found some bitchy catty quotes from Bette and Joan and others.

Feel free to use any in impolite conversation …

Joan Crawford on Bette Davis:

"She has a cult, and what the hell is a cult except a gang of rebels without a cause. I have fans. There's a big difference."

Bette Davis on Joan Crawford:

"I wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire."

Bette Davis on Cary Grant:

"He needed willowy or boyish girls like Katharine Hepburn to make him look what they now call macho. If I'd costarred with Grant or if Crawford had, we'd have eaten him for breakfast."

Marlon Brando on James Dean :

"Mr. Dean appears to be wearing my last year's wardrobe and using my last year's talent."

John Gielgud on Ingrid Bergman:

"Ingrid Bergman speaks five languages and can't act in any of them."

Talullah Bankhead about Bette Davis:

"When I get hold of her, I'll tear out every hair of her mustache!"

Talullah Bankhead to Tennessee Williams after seeing the film version of one of his plays:

"Darling, they've absolutlely ruined your perfectly dreadful play."

Madonna to Elton John:

"The easiest way for you to lose 10 pounds is just to take off your wig."

Elton on Madonna:

"She looks like a fucking fairground stripper."

Noël Coward :

"I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere."

"She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache."

"He's completely unspoiled by failure."

Joe Orton:

"You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin."

Truman Capote about Jack Kerouac's On the Road:

"That isn't writing at all, it's typing."

Tennessee Williams on Truman Capote:

"I always said little Truman had a voice so high it could only be detected by bats."

Gore Vidal on Truman Capote's death:

"It was a good career move."

Dame Edna to Roseanne:

"Tell me, is there anything you wish you hadn't eaten?

Charles Pierce:

"If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?"

Mary McCarthy, in a statement about Hellman in a 1979 interview on The Dick Cavett Show:

"Every word she writes is a lie, including and and the."

This prompted a defamation suit against McCarthy which was dropped after Hellman's death. Later McCarthy said of the suit:

"If someone had told me, don't say anything about Lillian Hellman because she'll sue you, it wouldn't have stopped me. It might have spurred me on."

Oscar Wilde:

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

"Of course, America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up."

"She is a peacock in everything but beauty." 

Bitchy and catty are gifts ... I don't own them.

The Advocate