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Once again we find the designtestants wandering the streets of La Grande Apple in search of their next challenge. The meandering leads them to the Hearst Building, home of Marie Claire and, loving it, Nina Garcia!
Everyone cringes a bit, remembering the ways in which Nina took them to task overt some of their bad choices during their seasons, but Dmitry puts it all in perspective with:
"You know who doesn't love Nina? People who suck." Talent
And Nina is waiting with host Alyssa Milano and Scott Davies, SVP of Marketing for Zales the Diamond Store, to reveal the challenge: create a colorful — not black and, sorry Kate, not white — party dress inspired by their own past, present, and future romantic relationships.
They have one day and $100 — Michelle actually winced — but the reward, other than the win, is a $10,000 gift card and $15,000 diamond pendant necklace from Zales.
Product placement complete ... let’s rip …
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THE SAFES
Clockwise from Top Left
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FABIO
His dress has cutouts to symbolize the fact that he’s in an open relationship. Zanna was a bit stunned by that, but Fabio says it works well … for him. His dress is cute, but looks a little too naïve to be in anything other than a monogamous closet.
JAY
Having been with his partner for ten years, he’s realized how parallel their lives are, so his look is completely symmetrical. It’s cute’ it’s quilted’ it’s pleated; it’s a handkerchief hemline. It’s safe from all sides.
JUSTIN
He made Zanna — and, okay, me, too — tear up when talking about his boyfriend, who took the time to learn sign language when they began dating. So, he painted his own hand and stamped the phrase I love you on his dress. A fun flirty dress that, when the model spun around on the runway, showed some of the fine china; luckily the cabinet doors were closed, and by that I mean she was at least wearing underwear.
MICHELLE
She was married during her season on the PR and then divorced her husband right after, and is now engaged and back on the PR. I don’t know how that played out in her design, but I found it a little too Laura Ingalls Wilder for her story.
SAMANTHA
She says she’s in a relationship — she says she’s “taken” — so her design is about connection and sparkle, neither of which she can tie into her own love life. This look, to me, doesn’t say love as much as it says garden party.
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BOTTOM THREE
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BENJAMIN
He’s not in love but he has a love tattoo. Um, okay? But he decides to create a flowing handkerchief dress to symbolize freedom, with a hint of blue to symbolize the sea, with a back design that looks like a cage or a spider’s web, to reflect how he’s putting that behind him; or that he has a spider in a cage on his back?
Zanna says it’s “fine” as in “I think I saw it at Target,” but suggests the knotted cage detail in the back be given more presence.
WHAT HE SAID
Everything about the dress encompasses my past, present and future … it’s love.
WHAT I SAID
Oh honey! A handkerchief hem? No. No. Handkerchief hems never win unless it’s the turn a dress into a handkerchief challenge.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Nina loved the fabric. That’s all. She said the blue-sea detail looked like the lining had slipped, and she called the handkerchief hem "Project Runway 101." Alyssa said the dress was beautiful walking but standing still it looked like a castoff from Dancing with the Stars. Isaac loved the back detail, but hated that Benjamin added necklaces to the model because it suddenly went disco. Guest judge, and PR all-Stars winner, Seth Aaron simply said he hates handkerchief hems, while fellow guest judge, fashion blogger Danielle Bernstein, said it looked a little Sweet Sixteen and Never Been a Winner.
WHAT HAPPENED
There were far worse things on the runway so Benjamin lives to design anther day.
GUNNAR
Full Disclosure: I don’t like Gunnar. I think he’s a horrid designer, and I rarely believe a word of what he says or does. I think he’s on the show because he has no real discernible talent other than being a reality show bitch, and, sorry Gunnar, the role is being played by Nene Leakes this season.
That said, Gunnar starts off by saying that he’s just come out of a two-year relationship that he watched crash and burn but did nothing to stop; there were tears, or at least the semblance of tears because he blinked a lot and looked up as if trying to stave them off. His says his dress represents the chaos of that relationship ending.
Zanna called his look not surprising, as in, I thought, “I’m not surprised it’s awful.”
WHAT HE SAID
I love the way that it’s laying on her. It’s a solid look.
WHAT I SAID
It’s so ill-fitting, and the model looks like she’s in pain wearing, and then it turns around and … WTF … what is that?
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Isaac likes the irony of the top—I think he meant it needed ironing—and the heart shape, but found the rest of the dress a mess; he actually made a face when talking about it, a face that said, “Why are you here?” Danielle Bernstein said the back was senseless and unflattering, while Seth Aaron agreed that the top was the idea and the bottom was an afterthought. Nina hated the darts— ("I can't imagine that was intentional" —and, well, just hated the whole thing. Alyssa was shocked that Gunnar seemed so proud of it and that made her, and most of America, wonder why he was there.
WHAT HAPPENED
He dodged a bullet. Seriously, I think Nina tried to shoot him.
KATE
She’s had one true love her entire life because she married her childhood … childhood … sweetheart. So, naturally, she’s making a Baby Doll dress—which seems kind of creepy to me—in a color that is as close to white as she was allowed to use; she called it the color of the beach in Florida.
Zanna called it a maternity snooze, so Kate ditched the Baby Doll and tried to sex it up—which also sounds creepy.
WHAT SHE SAID
I really love the way my look turned out. I would totally wear it.
WHAT I SAID
The ice skater sequins and the bare midriff and the sheer fabric and the ragged hem and that piece hanging off the front are representations of Kate’s love life? Oy.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Danielle loved the vintage look of the top piece but called the whole look bland. Seth Aaron agreed that the top was gorgeous and the bottom was bad, and figured it was better before she butchered the Baby Doll. Isaac was enraged by the color—it’s not really the beach, Kate added, but the smell of the beach—and then he understood: it stinks. Nina called the color poor … worse than poor … sad … No bueno; and she wondered about the flounce and when Kate said she wanted to go edgy and Nina snapped, “Midway through the design you want to go edgy?” Alyssa couldn’t get past the unhemmed hemline.
WHAT HAPPENED
For the third time, Kate gets axed. I hope she’s learned her lesson and never, ever, returns to the PR.
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TOP THREE
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DMITRY
Dmitry is cold and clinical and, really has no heart, so I think this might stump him. And it kind of does because he doesn’t talk about past relationships, except to say that he’s single and his career comes first, though he is looking for that special, ahem “person.”
His dress has a crisscross neckline to symbolize the choices he’s made, a striped and see-through bodice to symbolize the road he’s traveled and a flirt flounce to show us that he’s ready to have fun—which means, I think, sitting in a dark room ... reading ... alone.
Zanna tells him his look isn’t chic enough, and looks kind of cheap; he doesn’t care because he’s Dmitry.
WHAT HE SAID
I love what I see … very cool … very modern.
WHAT I SAID
It’s well-made; his looks are always well-made. But it’s just a nice red dress really.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Nina called it sharp and fiery and sexy, like a Ferrari and she loves a Ferrari. Isaac said it was great though he hated the flounce because it looked too Real Housewives of Fill In The Blank; he called it “just another red dress.” Seth Aaron called it superb, loved the tailoring, and that it was cute and sophisticated, while Danielle simply said it wasn’t her favorite.
WHAT HAPPENED
Well-made stays.
SONJIA
She picks a lace fabric because it looks like a cage, where one would hide your heart from the losers in your past but also a cage to hold your heart when you’ve found true love. So, she wants to be caged or she doesn’t want to be caged?
Zanna said she wanted to be Mother of the Bride and that it needed to be more sexy, so Sonjia wanted to do a slip dress beneath it, but switched it up for a blue — blue to symbolize the losers — tube top and skirt.
WHAT SHE SAID
OMG! Did I create this?
WHAT I SAID
I know its lace, but the cut of it and the jagged edges made me think of a caveman … like Fred Flintstone in drag. Seriously.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Nina called it edgy and modern and said she loved it. Isaac called it beautiful and said the back was dee-e-vine. Alyssa loved the lace and the silhouette, while Danielle called it sexy and elegant, and loved the pop of blue underneath. Seth Aaron said that, at first, it seemed so simple, but up close, he could savor the details … like a Brontosaurus Burger?
WHAT HAPPENED
As Nina and Isaac battled it out for their choices—Nina saying it was “cool not special”—Sonjia gets a second place this week and the citizens of Bedrock rejoiced.
HELEN
She’s so sad; her last boyfriend refused to watch her season of the PR with her and then dumped her when she was called back to All-Stars. So, for her, love is ups-and-downs, and running all over the place. Her look is more end of the relationship than the story of her love life; like I said, sad.
But Zanna liked it, and loved the red that Helen chose, so she goes on with her Salute to a Dead Relationship.
WHAT SHE SAID
I had to let my emotions out … and into the dress.
WHAT I SAID
It’s sort of sad—that neckline is sad—but that’s where she is so …
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Nina called it powerful and romantic, with a presence, and she loved the sleeves, Isaac loved the neckline, calling it new, while Seth Aaron noted that the neckline looked like a frown. Alyssa agreed, saying it was the most emotional dress on the runway, and that it was tragically romantic. Danielle called it frumpy without being frumpy—the first time I’ve ever heard ‘frumpy’ as a compliment.
WHAT HAPPENED
As Isaac said, thank your lucky stars for that bad relationship because you got a beautiful dress out of; not to mention, the win, and 10K from Zales and a diamond pendant.
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MY TAKE
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Where the hell was the beautiful Georgina Chapman™? Two weeks! Seriously?
My favorite part of the whole show was Nina and Isaac bickering between Helen and Sonjia’s looks. I’d watch those two sit and talk for hours.
Gunnar? Stop fronting. You just wanna be the next Kim Kardashian but Ray J won’t bend you over the work table.
Sonjia? Enough with the wacky lipstick.
Samantha needs to go; I mean, for me, it’s like she already left because she’s almost nonexistent.
Michelle needs to pick it up; safe don’t get you to The Tents. Benjamin, too.
I'm still crushing on Jay.
What did YOU think?
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Excellent as always!
ReplyDeleteWonder what Chris March would have done, and more importantly, snarked about, this challenge?
I like Dmitry's cold shoulder to the challenge. I was horrified at the perimeters. Though I am pleased to hear about Justin's boyfriend. What a sweet guy, both of them.
Should have sent both Gunnar and Kate home.
I think Helen's won as it was the perfect dress to go with that pendant. Sonjia - ak!!
While I thought the challenge itself was outright stupid (inspired by your future love life? ... really?) I agreed with the judges' results this week.
ReplyDeleteNow that Kate is gone, she should be banished to some Anti-PR island with the awful Amanda from last season so we never have to see her or her boring designs again.
Another great recap! Thanks! You ROCK!
I disagreed with the judges on the winner and the loser this week. Gunnar should have been sent home for that hot mess rather than Kate. Dimitri should have won instead of Helen, whose model looked like she was about to get some mardi gras beads at any minute.
ReplyDelete