Friday, December 28, 2012

PR All-St★rs 2, EP 9: Elie, Uli, Uli, Elie

This week is all about retail; making money. Not haute couture dresses made from toilet tissue rolls and empty toothpaste tubes. This is real life. The designtestants are taken to Elie Tahari's showroom and given the challenge of creating a ready-to-wear look that can be sold for $500-700; as Carolyn Murphy, aka Not Heidi says, it's high end, but as Josh, of the neon short-shorts says, it's a moderate price point. This further showcases how out of touch Joshua is in his fashion, design, and retail sense.
But, this week's win is a big one, as the winner will have their outfit manufactured, and sold, at all 600 Elie Tahari stores, and the proceeds will all go to benefit the Save The Garment Center, whose mission is to encourage, highlight and promote Made in NYC and Made in America clothing.
The designers were given HP something and a dossier on the Elie Tahari brand, along with access to his Fabric Floor, which, sorry to say it, makes Mood seem like a Swatch Store. So, let's see who brought it, and who dropped it, and who made a model look pregnant and wearing a full diaper.......
"Ready-to-wear is your meat-and-potatoes."
But, um, Emilio, that doesn't mean it has to be boring. Or, in mustard....and orange.....with burgundy trim.
Luckily, or not, Elie Tahari hated the colorblocking with the orange and mustard, and Emilio, so desperate to win, rethought his whole design in just mustard and burgundy. It was pretty....simple.
“My dress looks modern, sophisticated, expensive.”
Safe. Pretty. Well-made, definitely ready-to-wear. Safe.
Georgina called the color draining and hard-to-wear, which is not good for ready-to-wear. She also declared it too simple; Keibler hated the color, and wondered what her boyfriend George Clooney what would think of her in it. I wondered why she was on the show and then realized: George Clooney’s girlfriend. Elie Tahari, possibly searching for something positive, said he loved the neckline and the sleeves; I’d have hated to see the model catwalk in just neckline and sleeves, though. Isaac said he expected more, and this wasn’t it; but he also said he’d throw himself across the runway if Emilio got the boot.
Which he didn’t.
"I'm choosing this magenta. 
This color coming down the runway will be Wow!"
Or, he chose it because he needed a new pair of neon short shorts to parade around in.
When Elie Tahari saw Joshua's look in the workroom he broke down in tears....on the inside. On the outside he hinted that maybe the fuchsia fabric with the bits of fuchsia lace thrown on it might need a rethink, but, well, Joshua loves a splash of color because he thinks that's all one needs to get to the tents. Not so much.
Plus, one needs to be able to fit a dress, and not make the boobs look like loose kittens inside a blouse, and a zipper so wonky even Joshua said, "It looks like she has a dump in her butt."
“I really like the way the dress fits on my model.”
Yes. He said that! While I said, Neon! My eyes! Georgian, though, loved the fabric and the color, but hated that the model’s breasts seems to sag almost to the floor. Isaac echoed the gorgeous fabric bid, but raised Georgina a horrid fit and bad length, and then said, “I don’t even wanna talk about the zipper.” That’s when Joshua got pissy and said it was just a fit issue that could have been fixed had there been more time, more fabric, less lace and a more accomplished designer. Elie Tahari also loved the fabric but thought the lace ruined it, and Not-Heidi told Joshua [again!] to edit.
Or be edited Out.
"I decide to do a really cute short dress with a colorblocking combo because I know that Elie Tahari is very famous for that."
And then she finds a fabric that, ahem, "inspires" her and suddenly its gone crazy. 
When Joanna Coles and Elie Tahari came round for the crit, his major concern was the length. He basically said, "make it shorter" and Ivy basically said, "The customer can hem it" and Joanna basically said, "You're lazy, Ivy."
She should'a listened.
“The colors are romantic and beautiful.”
I think Ivy has become so Buddhist that she thinks if she says something enough it will come to pass.
Not this time. The dress was heavy and sad, and that wee belt bunched the fabric together so you really missed the fabulous print that she said was such an inspiration. Not-Heidi loved the colorblocking which caused me to think, “What colorblocking?” Oh, you mean that patch of orange at the top? Georgina thought the length made it look frumpy, while Isaac loved the dress when it walked but called it awkward standing still, Elie really wished Ivy had listened and cut off the black because it made the dress far too heavy.
And out.
"I'm trying to do something different."
Remember when the season started and Uli was all about the flowy halter dresses and then had to switch it up--I think on the disco challenge? Well, she switched to feathers and embellishments and dresses in white and now she's stuck on the white. And I'm worried.
Elie Tahari was worried about the heavy fabric Uli chose, and the fact that she draped it around the front of the model making her look fat. Uli listened to the hint and went a whole new direction.
“The dress looks clean, pretty.”
Like a shower curtain. Seriously, like my shower curtain. I didn’t like this one at all, and hated the fringe which made it look unfinished. But, I guess that’s why I’m an armchair judge because Georgina Chapman loved the details, though she thought the length was “neither here nor there.” Isaac disagreed and thought the length was so wrong that it was right, while Not-Heidi told Uli she could design in white every week [Which means she probably will, and if she gets to the tents it’ll be All White Uli]. Stacey Keibler called it classy while Elie was glad Uli listened to him and rethought the whole dress.
Uli, which freaks me out to say this, might have won had it not been for Anthony Ryan.
Might.Have.Won. I seriously hope she mixes things up again and goes a different way, because while white can be pretty, it’s also kinda dull.
"I want to show the judges what I can do with a print."
This is one reason he keeps winning, and the one reason I think he might take the whole thing--unless there’s a huge tumble. Anthony Ryan tries different, while keeping with his own sense of design. And his choice of a bold, big print could have been disastrous, but he cut the print in such a way that it was a colorblocked print--much like Elie Tahari's sensibilities.
Which made Tahari like Anthony Ryan’s look, and turned him into the PR’s Mr. Miyagi, awhile Anthony Ryan became Grasshopper in Lifetime’s new Kouture Kid miniseries. He began preaching to the choir, even moving the Botoxed face of Joanna Coles, by saying things like, “When the pressure is more, the reward is bigger.”
I kinda got a wee crush on Mr. Miyagi, er, Tahari.
“I love what the print does.”
I loved his dress. You knew right away it was an Anthony Ryan, but the way he cut the print to fit the pattern was very cool. Isaac loved the way Anthony Ryan used the print but hated the neckline—all this focus on necklines this week, eh? Elie called it good and smart, and you just knew Grasshopper was his favorite. Keibler loved it and began butt-dialing Clooney to buy it for her, while Georgina called it young, but not Junior—which is death for a designer, I guess.
In the end, Anthony Ryan gets his fourth win!
 Stacy Keibler as a guest judge? They called her an actress but I’ve only seen her act as Clooney’s girlfriend. They called her a model but I’ve never seen her model anything but an accessory called George Clooney.
Elie Tahari is delicious and sweet and his whole rags to riches story was lovely.
I knew Ivy would go; after four weeks in the toilet, it was about time for a flushing.
Joshua, who I think designs for himself and not fort any real person, is next to go. His show might be bold and fun and neon, but it won’t be good.
Uli. No. More.White.
Emilio will be at the tents but he’ll be safe and, well, not a winner.
I think this season is Anthony Ryan’s to win, like the first All-Stars was Mondo’s. I’ll truly be shocked if he doesn’t score the big prize.
What did YOU think?


R.J. said...

I've seen Keibler model. Oh. My.

It was Ivy's time to go. At least she's not Poison Ivy anymore. She's been humbled, and for the better I hope.

The crack AR made about Uli and putting a ring on it because she used white all the time was hilarious!

Joshua will edit himself into fourth place next time. Emilio is competing for third place, and it wouldn't surprise me if Uli won. I think she might bring more to the table than AR if we're talking an entire collection.

the dogs' mother said...

oh, Joshua, you should have been aufed for construction issues alone! Uli was smart and Ivy wasn't.

I think you are right about Anthony Ryan winning. I went and looked at the manufactured look
and you can see AR's influence but it was changed a lot - no insets, no pockets, different color, different length.

SEAN said...

I could possibly see Joshua edging out Emilio if Emilio farts and Joshua doesn't.

two words: Katie Holmes!

Shouldn't every fabric have been wonderful since it was from their design house?