Saturday, December 29, 2012

I Ain't One To Gossip, But ....


Remember when adulterer LeAnn Rimes checked herself into rehab for, um, stress, or something? It ALLEGEDLY had a lot to do with her need to tweet and ReTweet and TwitFight 24/7.
Well, she might be needing a second trip.
While it’s true that she has been Tweeting, Twatting, less, there are still some issues that LeAnn faces because of her own antics. Like when the rumors started about her disastrous and horrific, and ALLEGEDLY drunken appearance on The X-Factor.
LeAnn tried to fix things—most reviews said she was trying to steal the spotlight from 13-year-old contestant, Carly Rose Sonenclar—by having a mouthpiece speak for her, but then she said the spokesman, her lawyer, wasn’t speaking for her. Then she tried to deflect rumors that she was falling down, knocking plates of food to the floor drunk, at the taping.
I wonder about those rumors because, well, LeAnn Rimes with a plate of food? That seems suspect. But it all adds up to her friends and family worried that she is on the verge of another breakdown turned round of interviews.
According to sources—and It might be Brandi Glanville—say that LeAnn’s horrible duet with Carly Rose Sonenclar is a sign that she’s “headed down the same path that led her to check into a treatment facility in August for anxiety and stress.”
That source also says, “Everyone around LeAnn can see how much she struggles. She has body issues and worries Eddie [Cibrian] will cheat.”
That sounds about right since she met Eddie while cheating on her husband and he was cheating on his wife.
Still, “friends and family” are constantly worried she’s going to fall apart again if she doesn’t get help. Which, again, might be true, except for the “again” part. Her stint in rehab was a proactive attempt to ALLEGEDLY deal with the same emotional issues that a lot of people face. There was no breakdown then, and Rimes is not in a downward spiral now.
It’s all, I think, a desperate need to maintain the good girl country image she’s cultivated since she was thirteen and to blame all kinds of outside sources—tabloids, Twitter, Brandi—for the fact that she’s human, and a cheater.
Who, sorry but she married Eddie Can’t Keep It In His Pants Cibrian, will be cheated on one day herself.
What goes around comes around.
Now that would make a good country song, LeAnn.

So the new Scary Movie 5 is almost here and now we’re being inundated with ads and clips for the film, most of which feature the surest sign of the End Times since the Mayans got into the calendar business: Lindsay and Charlie in bed.
But, in the previews for the film, Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan seem to be attempting to “make fun of themselves” only, well, as much as I loathe Charlie, he’s in on the joke.
Lohan, on the other hand, is now ALLEGEDLY bashing producers because she didn’t know she’d be the butt of the joke.
Lindsay? Honey? You been the ass end of the joke since your first drunken-drug-fueled car crash the week you turned twenty-one. Get used to it.
Still, Lohan is said to be “pissed off” at Scary Movie 5 producers, saying they secretly inserted an extra dig at her expense, and simply out of spite.
One of the scenes concerns a pot where the Lindsay character—and she’s playing herself here—screams at a horrific sight, and when we see what she sees, it’s a TV tuned to Lohan movie, Herbie: Full Loaded. Lohan now claims the scene was re-edited to show her shrieking at a news clip of, ahem, Lindsay Lohan’s probation being revoked.
Lohan says she never cleared the change, but, um, Lindsay, you are not the producer, or the director, you are, and I’ll say it again, The Joke.
Lohan feels this final joke was meant as payback from producers, because they blame her for holding up the shoot and trashing her trailer.
Ya think?

I don’t like Justine Bieber; nothing against junior Lesbians, but, well, not my thing.
But, now, ALLEGEDLY Miss Thang’s peeps aren’t happy with her either.
“Justin doesn’t seem to care and does whatever he wants,” a source at his record label says, claiming that the Bieb’s team had had several talks with him, but “He doesn’t listen to anyone.”
While some say Justine is just being a typical teenage girl, experiencing growing pains, others say, “This could really damage his reputation if they don’t get it under control. Justin is someone young teens look up to and this kind of behavior can really hurt his career. Just look at what happened with Britney Spears.”
Wait. Britney’s a Lesbian?
I digress. Some sources claim Biebs on-again/off-again same-sex love affair with Selena Gomez may be causing the mood swings. One weekends they’re all cozy at a Dinah Shore Gold event and the next week Selena’s cozying up to…..a man!
Bieb’s representatives have nothing to say on the matter.
But I do. He’s been a spoiled brat for years. I mean, how many times has he been stopped for driving recklessly on LA streets? And how many times has he had a temper tantrum because his label wants him to act like a real boy?
As long as he’s putting checks in the bank his team will let him do whatever he wants.
But, one day, he’ll be Britney Spears for real, and will be shaving his head and hitting cars with umbrellas and talking in a bad English accent.

Well, Tommy Grrl has moved on after the utter devastation of Katie Holmes’s midnight escape, with Suri in tow, from Cruise Concentration Camp.
ALLEGEDLY.
Tom Cruise ALLEGEDLY has a new girlfriend, and I don’t mean in that Hey Girlfriend, what you wearin’ kind of way.
While rumors sparked, no doubt, by Tommy’s Scientology handlers, worked overtime trying to convince people that he and Katie were totally booty calling while he was in New York promoting his horrific Jack Reacher film, well, that wasn’t happening.
Now, it seems, Tommy has “officially” moved on from the ashes of his third ALLEGEDLY sham marriage with a new romance.
ALLEGEDLY. But is the mystery woman, who is said to be young enough to be Tommy’s daughter, a Scientology “escort’ or is she just another employee on the Marriage Payroll?
Well, ALLEGEDLY the future ex-Missus Cruise is Cynthia Jorge, a 26-year-old restaurant manager who is being swept all over New York by the diminutive star.
They’ve been spotted dancing all over town—apparently someone had taken Tommy off a high shelf so he could go out…and then, after a whirlwind of getting jiggy with it, Tommy was dropped off for the ferry back to the Island of Misfit Toys.
The pair first met at the Lower East Side restaurant Beauty & Essex, which Cynthia manages, and as Tommy left the restaurant, after a meal of Chicken Fingers and Ice Cream, she brazenly handed him her card. Which may or may not have read I’d marry you and only take you for Three Hundred Million after five years.
And Tommy was hooked.
ALLEGEDLY. The next day Tommy’s handlers brought Cynthia to him and it’s been Publicity Love ever since. Followed by Publicity Marriage, Publicity Baby and Oops I Need My Privacy Divorce. ALLEGEDLY.

So, Simon Cowell said The X Factor would be huge.
It isn’t.
It’s beaten regularly by The Voice and doesn’t scare up near as many viewers as the awful American idol.
So he revamped….first his face, which is looking Jabba The Hutt these days…..and then the show, by hiring Britney Spears and someone called Demi Lovato,.
But that didn’t help and now rumor has it that Simon is trying to “manage” Britney Spears’s departure from The X-Factor , making like he has decided to “fire” her, even though, way back when, before Monotone-Autotone Spears came aboard it was supposed to be a one year gig.
So how does someone fire someone from a job they’d already given their notice to twelve months ago?
Still, insiders—and It’s probably Paula angling for another comeback—says, “Britney will get the boot. Producers wanted her for the long haul, but it isn’t working.”
One reason? Spears’ $15 million contract, which sources say the low-energy mentor hasn’t earned. Unless you’re paid to sleepwalk.
“They paid all that for her to say ‘amazing’ and offer half-claps,” “Paula” says. “[Simon] wanted crazy Britney, but he got boring Britney.”
And now he’s leaking it that he’s gonna fire her.
From a job she quit, via contract, before she was ever hired.
Ah, the magic of Hollywood, and the Boundlessness of Cowell’s ego.

I don’t like Kanye West. His talent, in my mind, is limited at best, but his ego is the size of Kim Kardashian’s ass.
That said, I feel for the guy because of his involvement with Kash Kow, since she is now, ALLEGEDLY, shopping around their upcoming-though-he-hasn’t-asked-yet nuptials.
Many sources—and you know it’s Kris Jenner trying to make some cash and hide it away before Bruce divorces her—say that Kim has been quietly trying interest any TV channel, public access channel, boy with a videophone, into a Kim-Kanye wedding ad, well, no one’s interested.
Maybe Kim’s career at least is over and she can go back to what made her famous: porn.
See, since she made a mint off her second marriage—by shopping it to m-E-dia whore network, E, she thinks other channels will bite, too. Not so much, and Kimmy is said to be shocked that no one really cares about another Kardashian Wedding For Profit.
Even if it includes a once-famous rapper.

7 comments:

UnderSTANding STAN said...

It's great to be able to read one of these recaps again! It's like I'm there in the restaurant with these people. ALLEGEDLY.

anne marie in philly said...

"nothing against junior Lesbians, but, well, not my thing." - best line EVAH about this no-talent hack!

"but his ego is the size of Kim Kardashian’s ass." - now THAT'S BIG!

happy new year to casa ISBL!

Ron said...

Yet another great blog on our "superstars". Love you Bob! You're the best!

the dogs' mother said...

Fear for poor Justin. Too much fame, too early and no adults who seem to have his best interests at heart.

R.J. said...

I feel sorry for Justine. If we deport her, there's a good chance Canada won't take her back.

I would love more than anyone to see the end of Kash Kow's money grab. Wouldn't it be epic if it all ended with a tax lien? They're the "in" thing for has-been Hollywood stars right now.

Debbie said...

"after a whirlwind of getting jiggy with it, Tommy was dropped off for the ferry back to the Island of Misfit Toys" ... you are FUCKEN HILARIOUS ... and I HATE Kanye too, and his Kardashian sized ego. KK's ass needs its own zip code and Mama Jenner is a HO. When Bruce and Kris finally call it quits it is going to be EPIC. I can't wait! :)

XOXO
Deb

www.DiatribesAndOvations.com said...

Another great post. Looking forward to reading your blog in the new year.