A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital, and while she was on the operating table she had one of those near death experiences.
And God said, "No, my child, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
The woman recovered, and then decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth!
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of that ambulance?"
.....You're gonna love this.....
God replied: "Shit! I didn't recognize you."*
*special thanks to fellow Smallville gay, Neal, for the joke.