Sunday, April 08, 2018
The Funny Papers
Saturday, April 07, 2018
Friday, April 06, 2018
PR All-St★rs 6 Ep13: Finally! The Finale!
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The finale starts as the three finalists enter the work room to find Helen, Candice, and Amanda are back to help them finish their collections …including the creation of a seventh look.
It’s all a bit of a lovefest—well, except for Helen, who explains that she’s glad to work with Fabio because …
“There’s one person I truly like this season, it’s Fabio.”
Wow; she’s really a bitch.
Anyway, the designers and their helpers get down to work because not is just five days to make seven looks and who has the time?
So, let’s dish …
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STANLEY
Stanley’s collection will be Modern, Bold, Classic, and he’s paired with Amanda; he instantly gives her some colorblocking to do and she’s in heaven.
Still, I’m worried, because the clothes are beautifully made, which is totally Stanley, but I’m not getting a ‘Wow’ moment.
Anne Fulenwider agrees with me, and tells Stanley his collection needs some pow, as in color:
“You don’t get points for just tasteful, classy, and wearable.”
Stanley takes his second
WHAT I SAID
I loved the first look; it’s kind of Sergeant Pepper enters the Matrix. The second look was giving me Judy Carne from Laugh-In and I liked it; and I liked that he added a red strip to it. The third look, a simple pink dress was stunning in it’s simplicity, proof that you don’t need bells and whistles on every garment. The fourth look was cute, but I kind of forgot it as soon as it passed. I called the fifth look sexy and severe, while the sixth was a tad too baggy, though I loved the idea. The last look was his take on Puritanism and I still like it.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Isaac Mizrahi thought the collection was amazing and was especially mad about the red-pink dress, calling it chaste and sexy; his one quibble was that he wished Stanley had clipped off the center pieces of the belt buckles on the first look, so it wasn’t so obvious that they were buckles. He thought the whole thing was the best, most balanced, and expensive looking, collection.
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ called it beautiful simplicity and loved the first and lest looks especially; she called them real clothes you could sell today. She thinks the looks are polished and mature.
Guest judge Zac Posen called it stunning, sophisticated, beautifully executed; the first look was his favorite—modern and regal—but the collar and veil on the last look threw him.
Catherine Zeta Jones …why is she here? … loved the first look, and the crispness of the pants; like Georgine, she also loved the last look, too, calling the collection organic.
Alyssa joined the crowd in loving the first look.
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FABIO
Since the judges hated his chinoiserie bird print, Fabio will scrap it, and stick to his navy, cream and white palette. And while there will still be contrasts, like Stanley, his looks need a jolt.
When Anne suggests a color, Fabio shows bits of yellow, and she suggests that he add it throughout to give the collection more power. Fabio uses his second Mood trip to stock up on that yellow and it was a wise move.
WHAT I SAID
I loved the smocking skirt, and the new top works better, making the skirt the star of that show. The second look had a fabulous little striped coat, and while the shorts were an odd length for me, they’re totally Fabio’s edge. The third look was so casual and chic and simple; timeless, but modern. I liked what he tried with the fourth look, and I liked watching it walk, but the still photo is giving me surgical scrubs, albeit modern surgical scrubs. The fifth look also is giving me clinician, but I do love the back drape. Number six is my favorite; I was getting a Ralph Lauren vibe, but only if Ralph Lauren lived long enough to become Fabio—no offense to Mr. Lauren since he’s still alive. I also liked the kimono quality of the last look, though I found it a little too long and the fabric seemed kind of heavy.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ was stunned by the fact that Fabio could drape so well; she loved the short, striped jacket and wished it had been paired with something more street, more grunge. She did say, based on separates, he had the best collection
Isaac Mizrahi called the collection=n ‘moving,’ and loved the yellow cardigan; he called the collection delicate in its oddness but wished it had been more ‘%$@# you’ odd. He did find the collection heartfelt.
Zeta Jones loved the jumpsuit with the bell sleeves and thought the whole collection was feminine and edgy, street to couture.
Zac Posen was all about the timeless jumpsuit and said that the fifth look would have worked as just a dress—Fabio did add that his clients wouldn’t wear a dress.
Alyssa called it innovative and new and modern and relatable.
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ANTHONY
Anthony got the ‘Oh no, he’ll never finish’ edit because he completely scrapped his signature look and refused to hear it when Candice told him to bring it back. But he wanted drama and paint and leather and sheers and feathers and so that meant ‘Shut up and sew.’
It also meant a talk off the cliff from Anne, who loved what he was doing, but warned him that too much might never get done.
At Mood he opts for black velvet, because paint looks good on velvet …tell that to Elvis on Velvet … to create a Little Black Dress.
WHAT I SAID
The skirt on the first look was über tight but I liked the paint splatter. The second look also suffered from TSS—tight skirt syndrome—but I loved the sexy sheer Rihanna top. I got Origami Fortune Cookie from the third piece, and that’s no shade, while the fourth piece was a giant wow … for about twelve second. The fifth look was great coming at you and fabulous walking away. The sixth piece was my least favorite; it didn’t seem to fit. But that last look was breathtaking, and then she turned to walk away, and the skirt filled the runway, I told Carlo I need that for when I wanna make a dramatic departure from a room; we’ll see.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Alyssa called the collection a breath of fresh air, loved the back of the LBD—which he says he did because of Georgina’s advice, causing Isaac to tell Georgina she was making little monsters everywhere.
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ was surprised by the rock-n-roll attitude in the collection, and loved the last look, though the print bothered her; she also felt the white skirt was too long, and the top too sheer.
Zac Posen disagreed saying it was a Rihanna look and he totally knows Rihanna and she’d wear it. Isaac helped pick up the names he dropped. He also thought the all-white look was divine.
Isaac Mizrahi also loved the last look; he dubbed the fabric and design ‘brutalism’.
Zeta Jones said the last look made her gasp harder than she’d gasped since she saw how much money she’d get after signing that Michael Douglas pre-nup. She added that the LBD was ‘everything.’
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I was glad they didn’t drag it out by first sending someone home, and just simply announced the winner … Anthony … wo squealed so loudly my ears are still ringing.
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I loved the champagne and cake segment when the three finalists sat down together and were just nice to one another, and happy to be in the finale together. I does like me some drama, you know that, but this was nice, too.
That said, was I happy Anthony won? Yes …and no. I would have been happy with any of the three, but, while Anthony’s clothes were beautiful and has some great ideas, I felt Stanley’s looks were more refined, more new, and that Fabio’s collection was the future.
Still, I give Anthony props, because he sold that collections, noting that he listened to Georgina’s advice and Isaac’s critiques, and he took some lessons from what Zac Posen has done; he’s learned a great deal. And, quite simply, his idea for the collection … if Audrey Hepburn had lived long enough to become Rihanna …was brazilliant! He werked that collection and his win was well-earned.
Now, Line of the Night … all season long it seems they’ve gone to Anthony, but last night’s best line, for me, was when Fabio said:
“God gave me a mind that thinks, and it thinks about pockets.”
Loved that.
I also loved Fabio’s choice of music to be played during his collection—accordion music—as a nod to his grandfather, since the collection was a nod to his grandmother.
Catherine Zeta Jones? No; just no.
Again, I love me some Isaac, or, in Isaac-speak, I’m simply mad about him.
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™, coming off the scandal brought about by her soon-to-be ex-husband, Harvey Weinstein, was the epitome of grace and elegance; truly beautiful
Alyssa Milano? Whoever styled her most of the season must have not been a Who’s The Boss fan because they put her in some hideous clothes all season long. She needs a new rider in her contract that she gets better wardrobe choices,
I seriously can see these three designers are having wonderful careers, and so that’s a win-win in my book.
What did YOU think?
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I Didn't Say It ...
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Hillary Clinton, on Fox News:
“Fox News is always trying to impeach me, so somebody needs to tell them, that doesn’t apply to a private citizen. When you’ve been accused of everything like I have, and you realize some people believe it, it’s really depressing.”
Seriously, Hillary has been accused of a Benghazi coverup, an email scandal, faking the moon landing, shooting Lincoln; and yet not once has she ever been found guilty, or had a special prosecutor investigate her.
Can’t say the same for _____?
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Jay-Z, on his mother’s coming out:
“Imagine having lived your life for someone else. And you think you’re protecting your kids. And for my mother to have to live as someone that she wasn’t and hide and like, protect her kids – and didn’t want to embarrass her kids, and you know, for all this time. And for her to sit in front of me and tell me ‘I think I love someone.’ I mean, I really cried. That’s a real story. I cried because I was so happy for her that she was free.”
Free. That’s the word to best describe coming out.
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_____, on the Easter event at the White House:
“This is a special year. Our country is doing great. You look at the economy, you look at what’s happening. Nothing’s ever easy, but we have never had an economy like we have right now, and we’re going to make it bigger and better and stronger. Our military is now at a level, will soon be at a level, that it’s never been before. It’s — you see what’s happening. and you see what’s happening with funding. The funding of our military was so important. And so many military people are with us today. So just think of $700 billion because that’s all going into our military this year.”
Yup, he’s turned Easter into a rant against immigrants and a chance to build up his own tiny fisted ego.
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Seth Meyers, on the Easter event at the White House:
“Ahh, yes. Who could forget how Christ rose on the third day and said unto his followers, ‘We got to do something about all these Mexicans.’ Not that I’m surprised ______ doesn’t embrace the spirit of Easter. I bet every kid who found an egg on the White House lawn is getting a bill within the next week. ‘We have had terrible egg deals for too long! Kids have been taking our eggs, they’ve been laughing at us!'”
Sadly, this is true, and this is our president … for now.
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Robert Páez, Venezuelan diver, on being gay:
“In sharing my story, I hope to help make homosexuality as common of a word as heterosexuality. We have to read it, say it, and accept it with clarity and maturity. We have to understand that we are all equal. Being gay does not make us less as a man, or girls less as a woman. Being gay is not a disease. Accepting ourselves and respecting ourselves are big first steps. Life is too beautiful to be hidden in a closet.”
Very simple; it should make no difference what anyone’s sexual orientation might be.
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Roxane Gay, writer, professor, editor, and commentator, on the Roseanne reboot:
“As I watched the first two episodes of the “Roseanne” reboot, I thought again about accountability. I laughed, yes, and enjoyed seeing the Conner family back on my screen. My first reaction was that the show was excellent. But I could not set aside what I know of Roseanne Barr and how toxic and dangerous her current public persona is. I could not overlook how the Conner family came together to support Mark as he was bullied at school for his gender presentation, after voting for a president who actively works against the transgender community. They voted for a president who doesn’t think the black life of their granddaughter matters. They act as if love can protect the most vulnerable members of their family from the repercussions of their political choices. It cannot.”
I agree with her, except for that part about the show being excellent.
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Bill O’Reilly, on the white man being oppressed … seriously:
“For a long time skin color really wasn’t much of an issue. ‘80s and 90s, you didn’t hear a lot, yeah you always had your Farrakhan’s and your Sharpton’s, you always had those people, they were race hustlers, it was a money thing, an industry thing. But now whiteness has become the issue, whiteness. Alright so if you’re a white American you are part of a cabal that either consciously or unconsciously keeps minorities down. Therefore that has to end and whiteness has to be put aside. That’s what the border is all about. The open border people and believe me, this is behind the movement in California and in the Democratic precincts. Let everybody in, everybody in, that would diminish whiteness because minorities then would take over as they have in many parts of California. That’s what that’s all about. Getting whiteness out of power, particularly white men. So then the Me Too movement, very closely aligned with the progressive left, very, very closely aligned. Get those white guys, get ‘em, get ‘em. So you’re seeing this almost every day, I’m telling you about this almost every day. That the white people, whether they know it or not are oppressing and creating macroaggressions for the minority community. So the white people have to be swept out of power, got to get them out, let the LGBTs and the minorities, and they have to run the show, that’s what it is all about, what this is all about and they’re making strides like crazy.”
Okay, yeah, I’m a white guy; I admit it. But nothing disgusts me more than listening to a white guy explain race. Or how a sexual predator who paid upwards of $30 million to avoid prosecution rants against the #MeToo movement.
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Sean Hannity, fearmongering for _____:
“This country is headed towards a civil war in terms of two sides that are just hating each other and if Robert Mueller wants, there’s a big red button in the middle of the table. And if Robert Mueller is so pompous and so arrogant and so power hungry and so corrupt that he’s going to hit the red button and he’s going to ignite a battle that we’ve not seen in this country before. You think it’s, and I’m not talking about a war, I’m talking about, in terms of, there’s going to be two sides of this that are fighting and dividing this country at a level we’ve never seen and you’re going to basically have two sides in America, those that stand for truth and those that literally buy into the corrupt deep state attacks against a duly elected president and that’s what it’s going to be. I’m not talking about violence, I’m talking about everybody hating each other. You’re not going to be able to have a family dinner without mashed potatoes being thrown around the room.”
This from a man who helped spread a myth that the last president wasn’t American.
Pot.Kettle. Shut the fuck up, hack.
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Shep Smith, Fox News anomaly, fact-checking _____’s lies about Amazon hurting the Post Office:
“The Postal Service’s own numbers show it makes money by delivering packages for Amazon and other companies. As for taxpayers, the Post Office’s own website points out and I quote: the Postal Service receives no tax dollars for operating the space. None. And that reference to $1.47 that the president came up with there, a Citigroup study showed last year on average the Postal Service was charging $1.46 below market rates for package delivery. But our researchers point out if that discount exists, it’s not just for amazon — it’s a bulk rate discount.”
I wonder how much it bugs the hacks at Fox News who have their lips pressed to flabby orange ass, that Smith continues to tell the truth?
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