Why Is It ...

… that I think people who ask "Can I call you?" are so sweet. I mean,, obviously you can't but you're so sweet.

… that my patience is a lot like a Gift Card; you never know how much is left on it, but you can give it a try.

… that you live your life hoping to find someone who is obsessed with you and wants all of your time, and then you realize that person is your boss.

… that people who want to be my friend have to understand that I don’t want to talk every day.

… that when I walk into work and my boss says, “You’re late,” I reply, holding out my cup, “It’s pronounced ‘latte’ but thanks.”

… that as I grow older I realize that pleasing everybody is near impossible, but pissing people off is a piece of cake.

… that worst part of a fender bender is getting out of the car and having to meet a new person.

… that NASA can receive data from 47-year-old Voyager 1, which is 15 billion miles from Earth, but it takes me days and days to respond to a text from a friend in town?