Meme Dump

I Didn't Say It ... The GOP Comes For Their Own But Is It Too Little Too Late?

Thom Tillis, GOP Senator from North Carolina, blasting #MoscowMarge in a leaked audio recording:

“I think she is uninformed, she is a total waste of time, and I’m embarrassed to have actually lived geographically in her district at one time before she was there. She is a horrible leader. She is dragging our brand down. She, not the Democrats, are the biggest risk to us getting back to a majority.”

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Tony Gonzales, GOP Representative from Texas, on CNN’s State Of The Union, on GOP scumbags in Congress:

“I served 20 years in the military. It’s my absolute honor to be in Congress, but I serve with some real scumbags! Matt Gaetz, he paid minors to have sex with him at drug parties. Bob Good endorsed my opponent, a known neo-Nazi. These people used to walk around with white hoods at night. Now they’re walking around with white hoods in the daytime. Look, it didn’t surprise me that some of these folks voted against aid to Israel, but I was encouraged to see by a nearly 10-to-1 mark that Republicans supported our allies on the battlefield.”

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Mike Lawler, New York Republican Representative, on the move by Matt Gaetz and other pissy Republicans trying to oust Mike Johnson as Speaker:

“Some of these folks have nobody to blame but themselves for why Speaker Johnson’s hand in negotiations has been weakened. I look at this very simply. In October, the House was thrown into chaos by Matt Gaetz and seven useful idiots that teamed up with him within the Republican Conference and 208 Democrats. And at this moment, when you see what happened in the aftermath of vacating the chair and Israel attacked in a terrorist attack a week later, to do that again would be detrimental to the country and global security.”

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Dan Crenshaw, Texas GOP Representative, also taking on the pissy  GOP bitches in Congress;

“I guess their reasoning is they want Russia to win so badly that they want to oust the Speaker over it. I mean that’s a strange position to take. I think they want to be in the minority too. I think that’s an obvious reality. I’m still trying to process all the bullshit. To be clear, he’s being threatened for even allowing a vote to come to the floor. For allowing the constitutional process to play out as intended by our Founders. That’s a wild thing to consider, especially when his enemies consider themselves ‘conservative.’ Not conserving the painstaking constitutional process our Founders created, that’s for sure. Conserving Putin’s gains on the battlefield, more like it.”

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James Lankford, GOP Senator from Oklahoma, agreeing with Fox host Neil Cavuto that the border crisis is the fault of Hair Furor:

“It was and it is painful to be able to watch. It got stirred up in all the presidential politics and several of my colleagues started looking for ways after President Trump said, ‘Don’t fix anything during the presidential election. It’s the single biggest issue during the election, don’t resolve this, we’ll resolve it next year.’ Quite a few of my colleagues backed up and looked for a reason to be able to shoot against it and then walked away. My issue is if we’re pursuing everything, we very often end up with nothing. If we’re pursuing someone coming later to fix it, later seems to never come. When we have a moment to fix things, we should fix as many things as we can, then come back later and fix the rest. He’s got an office that he’s running for. He’s got a campaign that he’s running, I’m already in office, I’ve got a responsibility to be able to carry on this.”

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But here’s the problem: too little too late.

While you may be speaking out against the asshats in your party now, where were these conversations last year or the year before. Gaetz and Greene have been idiots and disgraces in Congress but y’all said nothing because you had a majority. Y’all knew hair Furor was trying to sabotage a border deal to make Biden look bad but the only people with egg on their faces are members of the GOP who goose-stepped along with him.

Thanks for speaking up, but now you should try to act up.

The Funny Papers

Deb Milbrath, Pedro X Molina, Jack Ohman, Nick Anderson, Mike Luckovich, Bill Bramhall, RJ Matson, Kevin Kallaugher, Gary Huck, Kevin Necessary, Matt Wuerker, David Cohen,

Why Is It ...

… that I think people who ask "Can I call you?" are so sweet. I mean,, obviously you can't but you're so sweet.

… that my patience is a lot like a Gift Card; you never know how much is left on it, but you can give it a try.

… that you live your life hoping to find someone who is obsessed with you and wants all of your time, and then you realize that person is your boss.

… that people who want to be my friend have to understand that I don’t want to talk every day.

… that when I walk into work and my boss says, “You’re late,” I reply, holding out my cup, “It’s pronounced ‘latte’ but thanks.”

… that as I grow older I realize that pleasing everybody is near impossible, but pissing people off is a piece of cake.

… that worst part of a fender bender is getting out of the car and having to meet a new person.

… that NASA can receive data from 47-year-old Voyager 1, which is 15 billion miles from Earth, but it takes me days and days to respond to a text from a friend in town?

I Didn't Say It ...

Bernie Sanders, on the GOP fondness for bailing out the wealthy while utterly ignoring their base:

“I find it interesting that for my Republican colleagues, when it comes to tax breaks for the rich and [for] corporations—that’s okay. But when you demand that we invest in the working families of this country, well, suddenly the sky is falling. I’m tired of that hypocrisy.”

If only there was some way to get MAGAts to listen to reason … Oh, who am I kidding? MAGAts are buying bibles from a rapist racist and shoes from China because a con artist told them to do it.

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Mitt Romney, GOP Senator from Utah, on Hair Furor’s criminal trial and the jury:

“I think everybody has made their own assessment of [Hair Furor]’s character and so far as I know, you don’t pay someone $130,000 not to have sex with you.”

Snap, Mittsy!

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Jon Ossoff, Georgia Democrat Senator, on the GOP bending over for Hair Furor to kill a bipartisan border bill:

“No one, and I mean no one, is interested in lectures on border security from Republicans. In one of the most stunning acts of political cowardice, a bipartisan border security bill was denied even a debate on the floor, because [Hair Furor] told Republicans to kill it.”

The GOP never even mentions the border until an election cycle and then it becomes the greatest threat to America … Remember the caravans?

They won’t ever fix the border because their base is so ignorant they don’t see that the GOP is the Do-Nothing Party.

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Jared Moskowitz, Democrat Representative from Florida, speaking on Fox News Sunday about Moscow Marge:

“What Marjorie Taylor Greene and what Thomas Massie and what Paul Gosar are trying to accomplish by removing the Speaker of the House in this very moment, after October 7, would only embolden China, it would only embolden Russia, it would only embolden Iran. She’s not a serious legislator, quite frankly. That’s why I think the way we’ve been treating her now is she is Putin’s special envoy to Congress. The idea that she would criticize anybody else that somehow we’re not respecting America. The way you disrespect America, is not by standing by our allies, not by strengthening us.”

Marge is a Putin puppet; I imagine she is already trying to build a gym in Russia and trying to get him to join, so she can fuck him, too, since that’s her MO.

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William Barr, attempting to justify this week’s announcement that he’ll be voting for the man who recently attacked him:

“I think this is a terrible choice for the country, but it is a choice. At the end of the day, we have to select between two different individuals. And I’ve said all along that I think it’s my duty to pick the person I think will do the least harm to the country. And I and I think that that to me, that’s clearly [Hair Furor] and the Republican administration, which I think is important. I think, you know, getting control over the border, stopping the lawlessness in our cities, building up the strength of the United States and an ever, more dangerous world, stop the avalanche of regulation that is strangling, business and our and our technological superiority. These are critical things that have to be done. And I think that we’ll get them done under a [Hair Furor] administration. At the same time, I think the Biden administration, it is, in fact, the greater threat to democracy. I think they have a totalitarian temper. They have bought into the progressive movement, and they’re trying to squelch opposition and freedom of speech.”

Barr has said that the man who called him “dumb, weak, slow moving, lethargic, gutless and a lazy, a RINO who couldn’t do the job” is the man he supports to run the country.

Oh, and right after Barr endorsed him, Hair Furor once again called him lazy and fat and stupid.

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Reverend Benjamin Cremer, a Man of God, on Christianity in America today:

“Christianity in the United States doesn’t need more political power. It needs less arrogance. It needs less entitlement. It needs less animosity towards those who are different. It needs more humility. It needs more generosity. It needs more compassion and understanding.”

This is how you Christian, not with Hate and Judgement and Political Power.

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Bobservations

No Carlos story, but a funny story about a repairman.

Last Friday our oven stopped working; wouldn’t heat up or would take far too long to reach the desired temperature. So Carlos calls a guy we know who has repaired appliances in the past; he doesn’t work weekends but Monday morning he called early to say he’d be out at 9AM.

On the dot he shows up and heads into the kitchen, and as I enter the room he is walking to the refrigerator and opening the freezer door, and says to me:

“What’s the trouble here?”

And I say:

“That’s not the oven.”

Man, he was embarrassed, because his second call that morning was for an ice maker that wasn’t working; he turned all shades of red and so I said:

“If you want something to eat just ask.”

He didn’t, but he laughed and then he did get the oven back up and running for a mere sixty bucks.

This Tuxedo Memory is from September 13, 2015:

“I Can't With This Cat ... Tuxedo Kills Me

First off, what's with the 'Don't shoot,' pose?

And then why does he always lay down like he's trying out for the US Luge team for the next Winter Olympics?”

That boy knew how to pose down the house!

I have seen this sign at our local recycling center ever since we bought our home, but this last weekend I finally took out the phone and snapped a picture.

First off: FlATTEN? Why all caps except for the “L”? And CARDboarD? What does that mean? And then to add to the confusion, “Squished, STOMPEd, etc etc etc.”

It boggles the mind.

House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer was all about impeaching Joe Biden; so much so that he even had a book deal at the ready to make some coins off the impeachments. And just last week when asked about the impeachment evidence he said, “Wait and see.”

And now he’s saying, “I give up.”

After 15 months of coming up short in proving his claims against Biden, Comer recently told one of his GOP colleagues that he was ready to be “done with” the impeachment inquiry.

Cuz there’s no there, there.

As Taylor Swift accepted the Grammy Award in February for best pop vocal album she told the crowd that she had a new album, “The Tortured Poets Department,” coming in April.

First off, “tortured” poet? Bitch please. It's billionairess bitching about mean boys.

Anyway … she spent a lot of the album dogging her last two boyfriends—pre-Travis Kelce—even though she claimed she was never happier; seriously, while dating Matt Healey she declared she was the “happiest” she’d ever been. And now she sings about him in a song called “The Smallest man In The World.”

Here’s the deal: sing about all your old boyfriend if it sells your albums, but admit you are also to blame for the breakup because it don’t happen alone. And pay attention, Travis, because if history teaches us anything, it’s that your songs will be coming sooner rather than later.

Okay, I am all about interesting and different clothing, but whoever came up with these shorts needs a good smackdown. What in the ever-loving culotte-drapery hell is going on here?

And then these flip-flops … unless you’re leaving a trail for people looking for dick, maybe rethink your footwear?

Well, well, well … dozens of migrants that Florida Governor, and Head Gogo Dancer, Ron DeSantis tricked into flying from Texas to Martha’s Vineyard  for a $615,000 taxpayer funded political stunty, have now been granted visa as human trafficking  victims of Ron DeSantis.

This is Leon Nieuwoudt, a model and actor and realtor … really, realtor? Whatever he might be the question remains: Would You Hit It?