Wednesday, September 02, 2020

The Traumatization of Bob and Tuxedo


Now, many of you may remember last year when Consuelo escaped the house and spent a week in the backyard, and how worried we were about her. And she escaped because Carlos opened a sliding glass door and, he says, she ran out and he didn’t see her. Keep in mind, however, that Consuelo doesn’t run … except to a food dish. I believe she simply walked out the door and Carlos didn’t see her.

Cut to this week …and the near end of Carlos’ life as we know it. He was headed up the driveway to check the mail and called for Ozzo to go with him; I head the kitchen door open and heard Carlos call Ozzo over and over again; then the door shut. Cut to about fifteen minutes later when I went into the kitchen and was going to feed the cats. I called them all, and Consuelo because it’s a meal, came running. And MaxGoldberg sauntered out. But no Tuxedo.

To be fair, sometimes Tuxedo skips dinnertime, but I still called for him; no Tuxedo. I began checking the places we know where Tuxedo sleeps; no Tuxedo. Carlos asked what I was doing and told him Tuxedo wasn’t around, so Carlos joined the search. I went into the master bathroom because Tuxedo does like napping on the window sill; no Tuxedo. Now, I’m frantic. I head back to the kitchen and see Carlos coming in from the garage with Tuxedo in his hands.

Tuxedo seemed a little scared; I assumed he’d gotten into the garage as Carlos opened the door, and then got stuck in there after Carlos came back inside. And, Tuxedo really was scared; he didn’t want to leave my side; he sat with me, crawled onto my shoulders; came into the kitchen as I cooked dinner and sat by me all night. I did tell Carlos he needs to be extra careful about Tuxedo, because that cat is a sneak and he’s fast—he runs like a madman—and to carefully open the door to the garage.

And, to torture Carlos a little longer, I rode the Traumatized Bus for the entire night, though, truth be told, I truly was very scared at the thought of that cat getting outside because he’d go. Luckily, it was just the garage. Or was it.

As I told Carlos that I would be telling the take of The Traumatization of Bob and Tuxedo on my blog this week, he fessed up … and I was scared all over again.

You see, he opened the door to go out and check the mail, and held it open for Ozzo to come along, and held it open a little longer and that’s when Tuxedo made his escape, BUT … he also opened the garage door, walked up the hill, got the mail, came down the hill, closed the garage door and came into the house. And when I began searching for Tuxedo, he went into the garage, and then went out into the front yard, and there was Tuxedo, crying, meowing, in the yard…the front yard … the ‘Is that the road right there’ yard.

Lord … I loves me some Carlos but if that cat had escaped, because he was out front with no fence to contain him, this would have been a vastly different week at Casa Bob y Carlos. he asked if I would have called a divorce attorney and I said there'd be no need ... all I required was a good probate lawyer.

Just sayin’.

18 comments:

  1. Cats can be damn fast, I know that - even Wolfie with his arthritis can move like greased lightning when he puts his mind to it. so I have some sympathy for Carlos but he should have said so straight away so you both could have gone looking in the right places outside straight away. And Bob, please don't kill Carlos until you've checked in with your fans!

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  2. Unforgivable! Carlos for the naughty step. And tell him you wont talk to him EVER again unless, as penance, he misses at least two meals as penance. And you can tell him I said so!

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  3. @Helen
    I cannoT promise anything ..... =)

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  4. (Tuxedo) glad he is safe!!!
    Even Abby is glad.
    Being allergic to cats we've
    never had one so we're clueless
    re their behavior.
    You are a good cat daddy.
    take care, xoxo :-)

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  5. Poor Carlos was probably traumatized also! Imagine the double whammy of letting Tuxedo out and experiencing "THE WRATH OF BOB!" (coming soon to a theater near you).

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  6. @Raybeard
    Carlos is in Bad Daddy jail and won't be up for parole for at least a week.

    @TDM
    When he fessed up that Tuxedo was in the yard, it took everything for me not to ...whoosh, let it go!

    @Deedles
    POOR CARLOS!!!!!!!
    I can always get another Carlos but there is just ONE Tuxedo!
    Sarcasm, you know?

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  7. poor tuxedo. carlos no es bueno; he should be spanked.

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  8. My cat Phil, is a Houdini. I can't blame anyone as it happens to me too. The cheeky devil!

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  9. YIKES!!!!! That is too close for comfort!!!!! When we had Starrbootty she too was fast and you had to watch her. She never got out, but if she was in your arms and head outside, she'd panic. I think she remembered probably being dumped and almost dying once. Indoor cats don't have much chance if they get out. We only hope like Consuelo, they have the smarts to stay close to home.

    Is Carlos on house arrest now? And for how long?

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  10. @AM
    A spanking is too good for Carlos n..... right now!!!

    @Jimmt
    Tuxedo is fast, but Carlos wasn't paying attention. We were lucky he stayed close to the house.

    @MM
    Tuxedo was smart and stayed close to home, especially being in the front yard with no fencing to keep him in.
    No arrest for Carlos, but he's on The List for now!

    @Debra
    Me, too. I was worried about My Boy ... Tuxedo!

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  11. Sorry, I'm with team Carlos here. I'm sure Tuxedo knows which side his bread is buttered!

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  12. @Treaders
    We;;, Carlos could use a team member. Tuxedo is still avoiding him.
    And I'm socially distancing ...for now. =)

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  13. Ok, but Carlos did tell you the truth, which is something a lesser person would not have done. Also, I know an excellent criminal defense attorney... if you’re ever in need.

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  14. @Mitchell
    BUT he only told me the truth after I told him i'd been telling the story and how lucky we were Tuxedo didn't get out of the garage.
    And he knew that Tuxedo was going to tell me so .......
    I'll keep your offer in mind ... just sayin'.

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  15. So scary. My boyfriend has two escape artists... Theo and LeRoy. They get out the door and then kind freak out, but catching them is tricky. Fortunately, there's a fenced backyard, although they have figured out how to escape it, too. Oddly enough, the one who has zero interest in the outdoors? My Tuxedo - he lived outside for a year and a half on my front steps. I had a warming house for him and blankets and eventually a kitty condo. But one winter out there was enough for me and my nerves. He was a stray, so had to go to the vet before he could become a house cat. It all worked out. And I think he is grateful (as grateful as a tuxedo cat every shows) that he is an indoor cat. And intends to stay that way. Glad you got your little love back, safe and sound. Don't be too hard on Carlos. Accidents happen. But, yes... be careful, Carlos!

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  16. Hahahahaha
    Oh poor Carlos. Tuxedo is devious, though. You cannot totally on poor Carlos...

    I cackled so loud when you mentioned the lawyer!

    XoXo

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  17. @uptonking
    I have already forgiven Carlos, but Tuxedo is still a little angry that his Mean Daddy shut the door on him!

    @Six
    I was a wee bit serious about the probate thing, but I calmed down!

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