Thursday, December 27, 2018


We have a client who comes in regularly, and one day, while chatting with me, she told me she wanted to friend me on Facebook. Being a little chickensh*t, I stammered something about not really being on there much and, yeah, that would be nice, and oh okay, and then I changed the subject. A few weeks later, I saw her in town and she told me she’d sent me a friend Request; I wondered how she had gotten my last name, unless she beat it out of a co-worker, and she told me that one of my friends is her ex-daughter-in-law; needless to say, I wanted to club that ex-DIL.

Still, I ignores the request—again, chickensh*t—and played coy whenever she asked about it, until the day Carlos and I bumped into her with her husband-partner-co-worker-friend, and she told Carlos I hadn’t accepted her friend request. Carlos, who always has my back, said … to me:
“Friend her already.”
I was doomed; I Friended her, after shrieking like a banshee at Carlos, who kept saying, "What does it hurt?”
What does it hurt? The women comments on every single thing I post or share, and then gets annoyed if I don’t respond. One day I put some political comment on Facebook and she asked what I meant by it; I did not respond. Then a second friend asked what I meant, and so I explained myself, causing Facebook Stalker, that’s what I call her, to private message me to ask why I responded to Heather and not to her.
“I responded to the same question from the both of you.”
“Yes, but you didn’t respond to me.”
And she was blocked on Facebook.

Cut to this weekend, Carlos and I were doing the groceries and I met up with him in the deli.
“Your stalker is here.”
I panicked.
“Her husband, friend, co-worker, whatever just came up and said Hello.”
Now, since Carlos has a terrible memory, I asked him to describe the person…
“My height, beard, maybe kinda bald.”
“Nope. Not him.”
“Well, I thought it was him.”
A few aisles over, I run into a friend, Mike, ironically he's Heather's husband, and he says …
“I just saw Carlos, stopped to say Hello.”
“Ooooooh. He thought you were my stalker.”
Mike looks nothing like my stalker’s husband, friend, partner, co-worker, but, hey, at least Carlos tried, and gave me the heads up and didn’t try to sell me down the river ………. Again!
His name was Felipe Alonzo-Gomez.

He was just 8 years-old when he died Christmas Eve in the custody of the US Border Patrol on Christmas Day.

Remember his name. Our government won't even say it.
Remember when Parkland School Massacre survivor, and gun control advocate, David Hogg talked about the rejection letters he had received from four California colleges: Cal State at Long Beach, UCLA, the University of California at Santa Barbara and the University of California at San Diego?

And remember how that prompted Fox news hag, and general miserable human being and liar, Laura Ingraham who called Hogg a “crisis actor” to Tweet … “David Hogg Rejected By Four Colleges To Which He Applied and whines about it (Dinged by UCLA with a 4.1 GPA…totally predictable given acceptance rates.)” … a little over a month after surviving the shooting at his school?

Hogg has been accepted into Harvard.

Take that, Laura Ingraham, you bitter ragged Klan wife.
On Christmas Eve, we took Ozzo to rectory Square, so he could run around like the little mad dog he is; and then, we went down to our local book store and coffee shop for a warm beverage.

Inside the store we chatted with the woman behind the counter, placed our order, then Carlos excused himself to wander through the bookstore and the woman said to me:
“He’s so sweet. He was in the other day and he’s just a sweetheart.”
I begrudgingly agreed; and the she asked:
“How are you two related?”
“By marriage.”
“Oh, are you married to his sister or is he—”
“No, by marriage because he’s my husband.”
“Oh! You never hear people say that in Camden.”
“Still, there are quite a few same-sex couples in town.”
“Yes, but they don’t usually say ‘married’.”
“Well, I say it because we are and that’s who he is … my husband.”
“As it should be.”
And that was a sweet little Christmas gift.
Apparently _____ never read the resignation letter Defense Secretary James Mattis sent him. And so that explains why, after hearing about Mattis leaving, _____ at first praised him …
“General Jim Mattis will be retiring, with distinction, at the end of February, after having served my Administration as Secretary of Defense ... During Jim’s tenure, tremendous progress has been made, especially with respect to the purchase of new fighting equipment. General Mattis was a great help to me in getting allies and other countries to pay their share of military obligations. ... I greatly thank Jim for his service!”
…  but then when the letter went public and he actually heard what Mattis said, well, _____ flipped his shiz …
“When President Obama ingloriously fired Jim Mattis, I gave him a second chance. Some thought I shouldn’t, I thought I should. Interesting relationship-but I also gave all of the resources that he never really had. Allies are very important-but not when they take advantage of U.S.”
Perhaps he should have read the letter first and then he wouldn’t have looked like a whiny little bitch; of course, that’s assuming _____ could understand what he was reading.
Tyler Stallings, just seven-years-old, is a superhero who has spent the last three years helping thousands of Maryland veterans after his mother taught him about veteran homelessness in 2015, when he was four. And when he learned that many veterans don’t have homes, Tyler began making “Hero Bags” filled with clothes, shoes, snacks, toiletries, soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste, lotion, shaving gel, and hand sanitizer, and started handing them out to veterans at the Maryland Center for Veteran Education and Training.

Since then, Tyler has given away over 2,000 Hero Bags and gift cards to homeless vets. Then, with the help of his mother, he partnered with local mattress manufacturers to provide 250 mattresses for the vets living at MCVET. He has also raised over $17,200 in GoFundMe donations for his mission.

Big hero in a little package!
Rumor has it that Russia’s parliament is thinking about changing their constitution to allow Putin to remain in power beyond the end of his current term, when current law requires him to step down.

Right. The “parliament” is thinking about it. By “parliament” they mean Vlad is changing the constitution to keep the power. I mean, the man interfered in our elections, so do you really think he’d do things by the book in his own country?

If so, I have a bridge you might like to buy …
I’m not saying there’s anything to this story but … in 1968, _____ was diagnosed as having bone spurs in his heels that led to his medical exemption from the military during Vietnam.

The doctor who diagnosed ____ was Dr. Larry Braunstein, a Queens podiatrist, who rented his office from _____’s father, Fred _____.

Kind of a coinky-dink, no?
Now, for the best Christmas gift ever!

A University of California-Irvine study has revealed that drinking alcohol and coffee, in moderate amounts, is linked to living a longer life. Sure, the key word is “moderate” but one man’s “moderate” is another man’s, okay, this man’s, “sure, I’ll have another.”

And live longer, too boot.
Over the long holiday weekend, I watched a documentary on New York’s Carlyle Hotel. A fascinating history of the building, the staff, and the guests; everyone from Princess Diana to Jackie O, Bobby Short to Elaine Stritch …and Loston Harris.

Harris often performs at the hotel’s Bemelmans Bar, where he is quite the treat, not just because of his musicality but also, for me, at least, because he’s dapper, sophisticated and, yes, darn cute.

And man can he play and, sometimes, sing.


the dogs' mother said...

As always ((Carlos)) :-)
and I loves the bookstore story.
David Hogg - you go!!
And the little Big Hero - lots of

Deedles said...

Ditto tdm! Off topic a little, it's weird, Bob, that when your posts go past the months into the years on your sidebar thingy, my computer freezes and says BlogSpot is not responding. I can't go any further. This only happens on your blog. Are you trying to tell me something? It's been happening on some of your best posts, too! This probably has nothing to do with your, but I just felt like mentioning it.

Mitchell is Moving said...

I, too, have grudgingly accepted a friend request only to have that person suddenly act like my best and only friend forever. I have a love hate relationship with Facebook currently.

In the time I've lived in Spain, I've become comfortable with saying, "He's my husband... I'm his husband..." etc. I have never surprised anyone with my response or received any kind of weird reaction no matter where we've been. One of the things I love about living here.

And, finally, thank you UC irvine. I knew there was a reason I loved coffee martinis!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Love that last tweet and the kid giving away the Hero Bags!

Bob Slatten said...

Yeah, I don't know what is causing that ... maybe I'll look around a little!

Dave R said...

I am very selective about who I friend on Facebook. Too many people think they know you and haven't a clue.

Bookies tend to be ... liberal.

So, do you think the Idiot Jerk has learned a thing about reading letters? Hell No!

anne marie in philly said...

a mix of wonderful people and asshats here. and then there's everybody's favorite carlos! :)

Frank said...

Why I deleted my facebook account...and in my opinion he's an idiot+++++

Sadie J said...

Ah, yes. The duality of FaceBook. Good in that I can stay connected to family and friends who live far away, Bad that I now know which of them are bat-shit crazy.