Saturday, July 28, 2018

It's Snarkurday!

That Woman must not have any children to whore out to the press right now, so she’s out there whoring her own self.

Last week she was seen in Beverly Hills with a ginormous zirconia on that finger, apparently to make y’all believe that her professional walker, Corey Gamble, who’s been her squire since her divorce from Caitlyn Jenner in 2014, had popped the question.

As a Kardastrophe, though, she doesn’t outright spill the tea, but instead posts a picture of said ring on said finger and then lets it go.

That Woman is 62-years-old in human years while Corey is a quarter century younger, and way too hot to be seen with the likes of the Demon herself.

I hope Corey didn’t put a ring on it because she’ll put a leash on him and turn him into a Very Special Episode of Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes until such time as his coma wears off and he runs for the hills.

Seriously. Look at him. Look at her … if you can … these two things don’t go together.
I used to like Kathy Griffin; loved her snarky sense of humor, but after that _____ bloody head mess, she turned all desperate and thirsty and began acting like she was a victim in this mess. And now she’s going all victim again by reigniting a feud she’s had with Ellen DeGeneres about Joan Rivers … who passed away four years ago!

Griffin claims that the last time she saw Rivers before she died in 2014, Joan told her that Ellen had “shunned” her and how hurt she was by it; naturally Griffin shared this story with an audience:
“One of the things that really hurt Joan, and we talked about it at our last meal together, was that Ellen always shunned her and Ellen thought she was vulgar and not funny.”
And Kathy told the audience that she called Ellen to get her to appear at a tribute for Rivers and Ellen rebuffed her, saying “there’s a difference between mean and funny.” Griffin says:
“That fucking set me off. So, we had a fight in which I used inflammatory words like, ‘Look you fucking untalented hack.’”
Says the Bravo’s D-Listed celeb-wannabe to the woman with the hugely popular TV series and boatloads of cash. Well, several days later, Griffin says she tried to reach out to Ellen again, this time to do a sketch with her that involved them fighting. Yes, she started a fight with Ellen, who, let’s be clear, did not sink down and take the bait, and then asked Ellen to do a comedy sketch about the fight that Ellen did not have.

Thirsty bitch, that Griffin. Ellen said No; and that started Kathy Griffin’s dislike for Ellen and it’s why she’s still talking about it four years later. But this isn’t the first time Griffin has said Ellen doesn’t like her. In 2016, Griffin included a blind item in her book about a “daytime talk show host” with “short blonde hair” who had a “mean streak that all of Hollywood knows about.”

Griffin later confirmed it was about Ellen … a “daytime talk show host” with “short blonde hair” … could it have been Oprah?  … and says Ellen called her about that and went “on a rant” that left Griffin in tears.
“After the phone call I literally started sobbing. At the end of the day, whether we like each other or not, I’m always going to support a woman, over fifty, in the game, and making a great living.”
Wait. Let’s rehash … Griffin tried to get Ellen to perform at a tribute for someone Ellen didn’t like … Ellen refused … Griffin yelled at her … then Griffin was surprised that Ellen wouldn’t do a sketch with her … two years later she says Ellen is mean in real life because she didn’t jump when Kathy demanded.

Seriously. Ellen has yet to say one word about Kathy Griffin, who is the one who looks like a mean bitch to me.

And a thirsty one at that.
Some old TV show gossip? Dukes of Hazzard style?

Apparently, Bo Hazzard, AKA John Schneider, has said he’d rather go to jail than pay his ex-wife, Elvira—not that Elvira—over $150,000 in back alimony. They were married 25 years and John thinks he’s give her enough coins and would rather sit behind bars that cough up any more.

Well then, lock him up and only let him out when his job in the laundry has earned him the 150K he owes the ex.

I imagine a few days as Bo, The Prison Bitch might change his mind and open his wallet.
Oops, #MeToo has another case. And this time it’s Black-ish star Anthony Anderson who is being investigated by the LAPD for assault.

Charges filed last week by a woman who formerly worked with Anthony as a caterer at a private event last year. They met up once after his event to talk about future work, and that is when the ALLEGED inappropriate behavior went down. Now, there aren’t many, or any details, but Anderson is already on the offensive:
“It’s unfortunate that anyone can file a police report whether it is true or false. The authorities have not contacted Anthony or any of his representatives about this matter. Anthony unequivocally disputes the claim.”
Team Anthony might wanna simmer for a hot minute because this isn’t the first time someone has claimed he was inappropriate.

In 2004, he was charged with an ALLEGED rape of an extra on the Memphis set of Hustle & FlowThat woman claimed that both Anthony and an assistant director on the film both raped her. The charges were dropped after the judge declared the whole thing to be “the most suspicious case I’ve ever heard.”

ABC, home to Black-ish, has yet to say anything, because they’re probably trying to figure out how not to lose another hit show over the actions of its star. Just sayin’.
Ever since Gwyneth Paltrow launched GOOP in 2008 it’s been accused of being full of quacks and charlatans … and run by a bad actress, but maybe that was just me? I mean, remember when Gwynnie claimed that shoving a $66 egg-shaped crystal in your cooch could “balance your hormones”? Or those amazing $60 stickers … yes, stickers … that could boost “boost cell turnover”?

Snake oil saleswoman. Well, Gwynnie wanted to create a magazine to spread her ridiculous thoughts and ideas but the magazine failed after just two issues. Paltrow, never one to accept responsibility, places the blame on publisher Condé Nast because they weren’t keen on publishing half-truths and lies.

Paltrow had hoped the magazine would be like the website and be a place where the GOOP team of quacks could go unchallenged in their assertions that “earthing”—AKA walking barefoot—is healing, among other things. And she is trying to spin the craziness of her site’s claims by saying this … with a straight Botoxed face:
“We’re never making statements.”
Um, yeah you were; put the egg in your cooch and this will happen. That’s an assertion Paltrow. But now, in an effort to at least look legitimate, she’s hired a team of lawyers and the fact-checkers who work overtime to prove what Paltrow claims … crystal eggs, $1500 white T’s, and going barefoot … have medicinal qualities.

Seriously, you think a lawyer will say that GOOP isn’t hogwash?
It’s been over two years since the internet and the Beyhive opened up a case file into figuring out the identity of the “Becky with the Good Hair,” you know, the girl who took a ride on Jay-Z. The case remained unsolved, though many think Becky is designer Rachel Roy and others think it’s Rita Ora.

Cue one Amber Rose, who Inspector Clouseau’d herself into the story and now claims that Becky is one Gwyneth Paltrow. Ick. Recently Amber was a guest on Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s podcast, Make Speidi Famous Again—don’t get me started on that mess—and made her case for Gwyneth taking a spin on Z dick:
“I definitely think that Gwyneth Paltrow is ‘Becky with the good hair … I feel like she’s the one who was, like, f**king Jay-Z. They were like friends, and then, like, you don’t see Gwyneth Paltrow with Beyoncé anymore. It just seems like she was the one that was f**king Jay-Z, and now Gwyneth lost her husband, but like Beyoncé’s still with Jay.”
First off, Amber, lay off the ‘likes;’ you’re not twelve. That said, she does make a strong case for Gwyneth being Becky especially when Paltrow’s team of lawyers and factcheckers instantly leapt forward to claim the accusation is “absurd” and 100 percent false.

And another source—possibly Paltrow burning love letters to Jay Z in which she asks him to make her his Queen Bey—claims Amber was just joking. But … was she?
Sixty-eight-year-old David Foster’s daughter, Erin, posted this comment on one of her father’s Instagram posts where he posed with his fiancé the literally half his age Katharine McPhee.
At 35, Erin is one year older than Mommyyy.
photo 1,  2


Helen Lashbrook said...

Why is it generally okay for a man to marry a woman decades and decades younger than him, but the minute a woman turns round to do it is verboten?

Bob Slatten said...

@Helen Because men think they're in charge until women prove otherwise.

anne marie in philly said...

more unreality garbage. how do these idiots live with themselves?

the dogs' mother said...

Time to get this weekend going! xoxoxo

mistress maddie said...

That woman is getting something ginormous...but I won't be a ring.

Seems her and Gwenie apparently both like ginormous things.

Deedles said...

This is the first time I was unable to read the Snarkurday post. I looked at the pictures, shook my head, threw up a little in my mouth and said nope, not today!

Dave R said...

Are you telling me John Schneider is available?

The Jay-z and Gwinnie bit is hysterical. So many people involved... so little taste.

And Griffin needs to take a slow boat to someplace special, where the slums have no names.

Mitchell is Moving said...

I've never been a fan of Kathy Griffin because she made her fame being cruel. I thought Joan Rivers was brilliantly funny at one time. Her humor then became constantly cruel, as well. And she lost me years ago anyway when she said in an interview, "I am queen of the gays."

Harry Hamid said...

I read the first line in the first Paltrow story - twice! - as "Ever since Gwyneth Paltrow launched GOP in 2008 it’s been accused of being full of quacks and charlatans."

It scared me for a second. GOP?! Is Gwyneth responsible for that, too?

It made sense. I mean, it IS full of quacks and charlatans...

Bob Slatten said...

That would be scary though. Paltrow and the GOP?????

Anonymous said...

Well, like Feckless Ivanka, she knows how to run a business into the ground and fire up a team of attorneys. So there may not be that much difference between GOOP and GOP.

Helen Lashbrook said...

Dear Bob

Thought this might interest you