Thursday, July 26, 2018


Several weeks ago, Carlos called me at work to ask if I could take off July 20th and drive him to an eye appointment; I said I’d make the request right away and I did so,

Cut to July 19th and we’re driving to work in the morning, and I say:
“What time is your appointment in the morning?”
“It’s at 4 o’clock.”
“Four? Why’d you ask me to take the day off? I could have worked and just left about a half hour early.”
“I wanted to make sure we could get there on time.”
“Well, I’m sure we can since we have the entire day to drive the forty miles.”
Oy. That man. That adorable man.
A McDonald’s in Glastonbury, Connecticut is throwing some shade at a newly opened Chick-fil-A right next door, by posting that sign outside their restaurant:
 “We Welcome Everyone.”
Cuz, you know, Chick-fil-Anti-gay. Now, the manager at that McDonald’s says:
“It just means that everyone is welcome, young and old, everyone.”
The shade! I love it.
Sean Spicer, _____’s original liar, has a book to sell, but apparently it’s riddled with :::gasp::: lies, or, as most people call them lies.

One blatant error? Spicer refers to the author of the infamous _____ dossier as ‘Michael Steele, who is actually the former chairman of the Republican National Committee, not the British ex-spy Christopher Steele.

Seriously, Sean? Alternative facts, lies, or just plain stupidity?”
The title for the upcoming eighth season of American Horror Story has been officially revealed:

American Horror Story: Apocalypse

The new season is said to be a crossover of season one’s Murder House and season three’s Coven and will premiere on FX September 12. Confirmed cast members include Sarah Paulson, Evan Peters, Kathy Bates, Billie Lourd, Adina Porter, Cheyenne Jackson, Billy Eichner, Leslie Grossman, oh-so-yummy-and-oh-so-gay Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, right, Kyle Allen and … Joan Collins.

Plus, Emma Roberts will reprise her role as Coven's bitchy witchy Madison Montgomery.

I’m in!
Color me sad… Ivanka _____’s clothing line is kaput!

It will be shuttered, and employees have already been told to get out. In a statement, Ivanka said lied:
“When we first started this brand, no one could have predicted the success that we would achieve. After 17 months in Washington, I do not know when or if I will ever return to the business, but I do know that my focus for the foreseeable future will be the work I am doing here in Washington, so making this decision now is the only fair outcome for my team and partners.”
Wait, so the line was extremely successful? Y’all know that _____’s don’t run from cash, they run from failure and try to spin it into success. The line bombed, no one was buying, and Ivanka fled.

On the upside, since the line was manufactured everywhere but MAGA-land, no Americans have lost their jobs.
In this week’s edition of Racism Valet … out there in Berkeley, Essex cook was walking along a street with his family when a woman began following them and verbally assaulting them.

In a video, the woman, Lauren Milewski, shrieks to the interracial family:
“You don’t belong here. Get out of Berkeley, Get out of here, You don’t belong anywhere.”
When Essex’s cousin, Elexia, tried to de-escalate the situation, Lauren Milewski became physically violent, and grabbed Elexia’s dress and hit her.

Sadly, several people walked by the altercation and said and did nothing, until finally one group of passersby called the police.

Lauren Milewski, racist asshat and thug, was arrested on suspicion of public drunkenness and violating parole.

Yes, the woman who suggested that an interracial family doesn’t belong on the streets of Berkeley, is on probation for grand theft.

Here’s the deal … when you see a Lauren Milewski out there verbally and physically assaulting someone, say something, Call someone, Dom something.

Walking by is being complicit.
At the White House’s annual “Made in America Product Showcase” event this week, Congresswoman Claudia Tenney noticed an odd thing about the place settings in the State Dining Room.

The flatware was made in China.

At a Made In America Showcase.

That’s America under _____.
Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!

The Brady Bunch house is for sale! For …. $1.885 million. And it does not come with Alice!
The 2,500-square-foot house in Studio City neighborhood hit the market after having the same owners for 45 years. Sadly, the couple passed away, and their children clearly didn’t wanna play Brady … and loved the idea of pockets of coin … so they opted to sell.

The listing claims the Brady house is the second-most photographed house in the country after the White House. And listing agent, Jodie LeVitus Francisco, says there’s a lot of interest, and it’s coming from developers who want to take a wrecking ball to the house much like that football slammed into Marcia Brady’s nose when everyone knows “Mom said don’t play ball in the house.”

So, it’s a tear-down? What’s going up in its place? Starbucks? CVS? The house from Mama’s Family?
This week _____’s Department of Agriculture announced it would offer $12 billion in aid to farmers hindered by retaliatory tariffs imposed on U.S. grain, produce and meat exports.

Those retaliatory tariffs are in response top _____’s tariffs imposed on other countries.

Let me get this queer: _____ imposes tariffs on Chinese goods. China responds in kind by imposing tariffs on American food stuffs. _____ then offers a $12 billion bail-out with money borrowed from … China.

Diminutive Attorney General Jeff Sessions was speaking to a group of conservative high school when they began chanting “Lock her up.” Let’s not even wonder why they’ll still chanting that except to say they have nothing to offer to the conversation, but … Session actually laughed at the chant:
“I heard that a long time over the last campaign.”
Sessions bets be careful, lest someone grab him and put him on a high shelf where he cannot get down.
I just heard that singer Demi Lovato is in the hospital recovering from a drug overdose. Lovato has a long history of substance abuse but had been clean for the last six years until recently.

But, Lovato wrote and recorded and released a song called “I’m Not Sober” recently, which has me wondering … I mean, she wasn’t sober when she wrote the song, she wasn’t sober when she recorded the song, she wasn’t sober when she released the song, and she wasn’t sober when she recently forgot the words to the song in a live performance. That all means she hasn’t been sober for quite some time and yet those around her did nothing to stop her or get her help.

See, to them Demi Lovato is a paycheck and if she doesn’t perform, they don’t get paid. What does it matter if she’s literally singing for help?
We all know that the news lately is bad, and vile and, well, _____. But at least I’ve found some solace, some way to listen to the news and not feel completely awful.

Whit Johnson, top left, has a perfect newsman name and a Clark Kent aura; he’s on GMA nearly every morning and I can take bad news when he smiles at me.

Jeremy Diamond, top right, is on CNN and between him, all beast mode and stuff, and Jim Acosta, it’s getting hot up in there.

Lastly, but never least, because he’s been here before is the, I hope, aptly named James Longman, bottom, I’m guessing, also of ABC with an English accent, a rockin’ bod and some homosexual tendencies … he’s gay, y’all.

The news is somehow more palatable.


mistress maddie said...

Ivanka trump......the American people have spoke!!!!

AHS sounds good, but I'm so over apocalypse themed shows. But Joan Collins!!!!!!

I never thought the news would make me horny.

Nice to see Carlos back!!!!!!!

Helen Lashbrook said...

Sure it's not Mrs Pruitt who has opened that Glastonbury, Connecticut Chick-a-filay? Yet another reason to not eat rubber rubbish.

Schadenfreude extends to the Trumplets too!

the dogs' mother said...

Good collection this morning. xoxoxoxo

Dave R said...

Ivanka's out of business because Idiot Jerk supporters only buy MAGA hats... made in the silverware.

In other words, the Brady House is worth Zippo, the land, however is worth 1.85 million.

Now Spicer knows what happens when you use Spellcheck as a proofreader.

anne marie in philly said...

TWITTER! YASSSS! looks like a 2 year old took a pen and scribbled.

istanka and spicy = LYING COMPLICIT FAILURES!

now I don't patronize mc dog chow, but I LOVE that shade!

Mitchell is Moving said...

Carlos just wanted to spend more time with you. Who wouldn't?