We have a client who comes in regularly, and one day, while chatting with me, she told me she wanted to friend me on Facebook. Being a little chickensh*t, I stammered something about not really being on there much and, yeah, that would be nice, and oh okay, and then I changed the subject. A few weeks later, I saw her in town and she told me she’d sent me a Friend Request; I wondered how she had gotten my last name, unless she beat it out of a co-worker, and she told me that one of my friends is her ex-daughter-in-law; needless to say, I wanted to club that ex-DIL.
Still, I ignored the request—again, chickensh*t—and played coy whenever she asked about it, until the day Carlos and I bumped into her with her husband-partner-co-worker-friend, and she told Carlos I hadn’t accepted her friend request. Carlos, who always has my back, said … to me:
“Friend her already.” I was doomed; I Friended her, after shrieking like a banshee at Carlos, who kept saying:
"What does it hurt?”
What does it hurt? The women comments on every single thing I post or share, and then gets annoyed if I don’t respond. One day I put some political comment on Facebook and she asked what I meant by it; I did not respond. Then a second friend asked what I meant, and so I explained myself, causing Facebook Stalker, that’s what I call her, to private message me to ask why I responded to Heather and not to her.
“I responded to the same question from the both of you.”
“Yes, but you didn’t respond to me.”
And she was blocked on Facebook.
Cut to this weekend, Carlos and I were doing the groceries and I met up with him in the deli.
“Your stalker is here.”
I panicked.
“Where?”
“Her husband, friend, co-worker, whatever just came up and said Hello.”
Now, since Carlos has a terrible memory, I asked him to describe the person…
“My height, beard, maybe kinda bald.”
“Nope. Not him.”
“Well, I thought it was him.”
A few aisles over, I run into a friend, Mike, ironically he's Heather's husband, and he says …
“I just saw Carlos, stopped to say Hello.”
“Ooooooh. He thought you were my stalker.”
Mike looks nothing like my stalker’s husband, friend, partner, co-worker, but, hey, at least Carlos tried, and gave me the heads up and didn’t try to sell me down the river ………. Again!
|