I Didn't Say It ...

Jeanine Pirro, former judge and Fox News commentator, saying there’s nothing wrong with receiving opposition research from a foreign state:

“As someone who’s run for office five times, if the devil called me and said he wanted to set up a meeting to give me opposition research on my opponent I’d be on the first trolley to hell to get it. And any politician who tells you otherwise is a bald-faced liar.”

So, Jeanine says she’d work with Satan to win an election? That speaks volumes about this asshat.

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Reverend William Barber, criticizing the evangelicals who “lay hands” on _____ last week:

“When you can p-r-a-y for a president and others while they are p-r-e-y, preying on the most vulnerable, you’re violating the most sacred principles of religion. When we have this extremist Trump Republican agenda that takes health care, transfers wealth to the greedy, that’s hypocrisy and sin. Seven hundred billion dollars ... You haven’t seen that kind of transfer of wealth on the backs of bodies of people since slavery. Claiming to care about life, but then passing a bill when you know thousands will die—22 million people, poor, working people will be hurt—that is hypocrisy and sin. When you know it will hurt children, the disabled and veterans, that is sin. That is hypocrisy.”

And that is _____ and the GOP in a nutshell: sin and hypocrisy.

As I said before, if you call yourself a Christian and support a thrice-married adulterer, pussy groping, disabled mocking, Mexican hating, Muslim baiting asshat, you are clearly no child of God ... so sit down.

And lay hands on your own sorry ass.

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Andrew Napolitano, former judge and Fox News commentator, saying political campaigns cannot accept “something of value” from a foreign government:

“So the question is, is this enough to commence a criminal investigation? Answer: yes. Because it is suspicious that they met with these people, they didn’t consult a lawyer, and one of these people is a former KGB/GRU. And didn’t tell anybody about it. Why didn’t Jared Kushner tell the FBI about it when he filled out his national security application unless he was trying to hide something?”

They all have something to hide.

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Elijah Cummings, Congressman, on GOP hypocrisy:

“For Republicans, there was no allegation too small to investigate in respect to Secretary Clinton, but there is no scandal too big to ignore with Donald Trump.”

How many hearings did the GOP hold on Benghazi and never uncovered any wrongdoing? How many times did we hear “criminal” shouted at Clinton about her emails and yet nothing criminal happened.

Then _____ comes along and there is proof that many people on his team and in his family lied about dealings with Russia and the GOP goes crickets.

Repeal and replace the entire party seems the best option now.

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Trevor Noah, Daily Show host, on Ann Coulter’s meltdown over being asked to change seats on a Delta flight:

“How long will white women be asked to move to the back of the — well, not the back, but just like slightly over two seats? Ann Coulter is basically Airplane Rosa Parks.”

Ann Coulter is a typical conservative wingnut who sees demons in every bad thing that happens to her, liberals at every obstacle, and collusion over the fact that she had to move three feet.

Fuck her.

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Kris Kobach, vice chair on _____’s Commission for Voter Integrity—and let that sink in: _____ and integrity—if he thinks Clinton won the popular vote:

“We may never know the answer to that question. Let’s suppose that the commission determined there was a certain number of votes cast by ineligible voters, you still won’t know if they voted for Trump, Clinton or someone else.”

Oh, Kris, you goose-stepping lapdog. Tear your snout away from _____’s sphincter and listen: Hilly Clinton won the popular vote. The only people who don’t believe that are the wingnuts with their lips pressed to the president’s flabby white ass.

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Michele Bachmann, describing ____ as normal:

“He is quite honestly one of the most regular guys you would ever meet. He just is who he is [and] after all of this phony, fake, Russia-collusion nonstory, the number one thing that voters in America stand with Donald Trump on, it’s the idea that they want the pause button hit on immigration from Islamic countries because of the problems that are coming into this country.”

Oh Michele, shouldn’t you be helping Marcusssss with his hair and makeup, because clearly the problem with this country is that the GOP is using fear as a means to get elected and then doing nothing about the so-called problem when in office.

You, Michele, are the problem; you and your hypocritical “faith.”

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Bill Palmer, political journalist, on _____:

"In no particular order, America has overcome a civil war, Adolf Hitler, a depression, and even disco. This illegitimate occupation of the White House by a confirmed traitor is a whole new kind of challenge for us. But we can, and we will, overcome this. In the end, the will of the people will propel the Constitution to propel Donald ­­­­­_____ out on his ass. When his degenerative brain disease finishes him off in a few years, he’ll either die a lonely miserable broke man, or he’ll die in a prison cell. We’re in the fight of our lives. But Trump is going to lose this battle, and America is going to win. We always have, and we always will.”

#Resist.

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Stephen Colbert, on _____’s second previously-undisclosed private meeting with Vladimir Putin:

“Really? How stupid can you be? You’re in the middle of what could be the worst scandal in U.S. history. People think you colluded with the president of a hostile foreign power, then you go out of your way to meet with him again and you don’t tell anybody? That’s like if OJ does get out on parole and immediately goes glove shopping. Here’s the thing, I want to believe _____ here. I want to believe that the president of the United States is just shooting the breeze with the guy he’s accused of colluding with for the second time that day, for an hour. But here’s why it’s hard to believe him. He lies about crowd size, voter fraud, ’til death do us part. He’s the boy who cried Wolf Blitzer is fake news! This might actually be a nothing burger but every time they tell us it’s a nothing burger, it turns out to be a juicy quarter pounder with sleaze.”

I’ve also said, time and again, that if there is a hint of some Russia scandal, the last thing you’d want to do, unless you’re a buffoonish lapdog of a Russian president, is to have anything to do with Russia.

But that’s just me.

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