Texas and North Carolina Republicans Are Coming For Marriage Equality

This week in North Carolina, a state which, with their hate-filled bathroom bill has become the eye of the Ignorance Storm of late, a quartet of Republicans, a “gang bang” of Republicans, if you will, filed a new bill that would direct the state government to defy that Supreme Court ruling and restore the state’s ban on same-sex marriage.

The bill, called the “Uphold Historical Marriage Act”—which means going back to Biblical times when women were sold as chattel to the highest bidder, and there was no interracial marriage, and no interfaith marriage—is sponsored by some of the House’s most conservative legislators, and Republicans ... because of course.

Now, to be fair, the Four Fuckwads—Representatives Larry Pittman, Michael Speciale, Carl Ford and Mike Clampitt—frequently file bills that don’t get a hearing because even the House GOP leaders don’t support their proposals.

But this bill says that the 2015 Supreme Court ruling that legalized same-sex marriage across the country “is null and void in the State of North Carolina” because, ahem, “it’s clear that laws concerning marriage are for each state to establish and maintain severally and independently.”

Um, no, because if each state made their own laws then people moving from state to state might find their marriages invalid because they have relocated from a forward thinking state into some backwoods, backwater, toothless cousin-f**king redneck state like, oh I dunno, North Carolina.

Even better, is that the lawmakers cited the Bible—a point made that it is the Christian Bible—and say the SCOTUS ruling “exceeds the authority of the court relative to the decree of Almighty God that ‘a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh’ and abrogates the clear meaning and understanding of marriage in all societies throughout prior history.”

Um, last I checked God wasn’t on the Supreme Court, fools. I think he’s busy sending mudslides to Colombia and hurricanes to Haiti.

Wake County Commissioner John Burns, who criticized the bill, called the Four Fuckwads an “embarrassments to the State of North Carolina and should be shunned from public life.”

North Carolina’s new governor, and a Democrat ... because, of course ... Roy Cooper said:

“This bill is wrong. We need more LGBT protections, not fewer.”

Y’all need more Democrats and fewer Republicans, too.

Just sayin’.

Meanwhile, in Texas, the Republicans ... because, of course ... are taking their own stab at same-sex marriage.

State Senator Brian Birdwell, a Republican, dontcha know, authored a measure—Senate Bill 522—that would allow county clerks to recuse themselves from issuing a same-sex license and then assign their duties to other clerks, a judge or even a special clerk.

"This provides a way for clerks to exercise their profoundly held religious beliefs under the First Amendment, and at the same time protect the rights of couples who are coming in for a marriage license. Right now, there is not an alternate mechanism for a clerk who is not willing to issue a license because of their sincerely held beliefs."—Brian Birdwell

No, Brian, you asshat, it allows people to not do the job for which they were hired, or elected, and paid, because they cite the Baby Jeebus; and it opens the floodgates for every other religious wingnut to inflict their beliefs on everybody else.

If these clerks don’t wish to perform their job duties, let ‘em work the counter at Chic-fil-A, where I’m sure they’ll feel right at home.

The state Democrats ... because, of course ... also questioned whether the law was necessary, or may trigger new discrimination, but Birdwell says not passing this bill discriminates against people of faith and that the bill protects people on both sides.

Um, again, Brian, you ass, how does it protect the same-sex couple when they are told they cannot get a license and need to wait for someone to come into the clerk’s office who has a brain that fires on all cylinders? And, again, Brian, how does issuing a license, a legal marriage license, which is part of the job of a county clerk, affect his or her religious beliefs?

No need for you to answer because it doesn’t; this is just another way to keep The Gays down and we are not going back that way.

Y’hear?

North Carolina

Texas