PR 15 Ep 3: Some Looks Are Better In No Light

It’s a Flashdance Flashback this week because, as the show opens, we find Heidi and Tim backstage by a biiiiiig switch; and when that switch is pulled the designtestants, waiting by the runway, are plunged into a Disco Black Light Nightmare, with Heidi and Tim like glow-in-the-dark live sized dolls!

Heidi and Tim dance onto the runway and give this week’s challenge — which is oddly inspired by … cue heavy product placement … Transitions Optical lenses—to create a daylight to blacklight look that will transform on the runway. And the winner gets the added perk of appearing with their design in an exclusive spread in Marie Claire.

There is one day and just two hundred bucks for this challenge so let’s rip …

THE SAFES

ALEX — left

It’s pretty but, like others, missed the mark; under the blacklight the dress didn’t transform, it was just the same dress in a different color.

BRIK — right

It’s a simple dress, kinda abstract structured, but since he kept the blacklight color to just blue, it looked like the dressed was glowing from within; Carlos said it looked like an ice cube, and he meant that in a good way!

DEXTER — left

Generally, I like a fringe, but in day light it’s kind of like Missus Clean at the Rodeo; under the black light it was better but nothing transformative.

LAURENCE — right

I don’t get the look at all … hot pants? Scorchingly hot, short, pants! And the blacklight just made it a different color.

NATHALIA — left

Again, there is no transformation other than the color; it’s like the same dress in a different fabric choice.

ROBERI — right

This was my favorite of all; it looked like a fun cocktail dress, perfect for dancing, in the daylight, but under the blacklight it looked like the feathers of a rare bird. Very cool.

SARAH — left

All I get is ‘maid’ in the first look, and ‘maid who spilled bleach on a blue skirt’ in the second.

TASHA — right

Meh; this could have gone into the bottom and I would have been fine; it’s nothing.

THE TOPS

CORNELIUS

Cornelius is making a plain white dress and plans to do some color-blocking with the blacklight dyes. Tim is not having it, and tells corny to take it up a notch.

So, he scraps the color-blocking and then decides to tape out some emojis on the dress and then pain over them; emojis … I can’t with that. But he creates a simple, calf-length medicinal looking dress with a cowl to hold the glasses — being an eyewear challenge, and I still don’t get the tie-in, all the models wore specs.

WHAT HE SAID

The blacklight transformation pops!

WHAT I SAID

I don’t like it; the transformation is good, but it’s childish graffiti on what was a stylish dress.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Heidi loved the bright colors under the blacklight, calling it magic. Nina loved “the element of surprise” and the cowl glasses holder. The Adorable Zac Posen™ liked the use of the emojis, though he pointed out the bad construction at the puckered vaginal area—oddly revealing a happy face under the black light. Guest judge, actress and designer, Jamie King, thought the paint gave the look dimension but also loved the starkness of the daylight look.

JENNI

Jenni had the make it work moment of the night, and maybe of all time, as she created about four utterly different looks and then still came out in the Top Three.

Tim loathed her ‘grandma’ fabric choices, so Jenni tried again, but she hated that look and so she gave it another shot; no good either. Finally, she decided she liked the clear plastic sofa cover she bought so she made a coat and skirt and then handpainted flowers in the ultraviolet paints. The clear coats and skirt seem to vanish under the blacklight leaving nothing but flowers.

WHAT SHE SAID

The look is really strong.

WHAT I SAID

I don’t like the swimsuit-ish thing underneath, but the coat and skirt are amazing.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Heidi liked the look head-to-toe and was amazed by the handpainting. Jamie King loved the delicate flowers—even the one peeling off gave it texture, she said—and thought they were placed perfectly. Nina liked the transparent material that allowed the piping, collar, cuffs and flowers to be the standout pieces. The Adorable Zac Posen™ called it fresh Blade Runner and loved the play with dimension.

ERIN

Erin has ideas, and she rarely strays from them; that can be good, and so far it has been, but it can also be bad if you don’t ever consider changing. She wants to create a baby-doll dress that will go from Daylight Sweet to Blacklight Slutty in a baby blue fabric that she decorates with some handmade beads.

It is sweet, and it is slutty, as the blacklight reveal a bra and nipple pads under the dress; Erin is apparently, a lover of The Nipple.

WHAT SHE SAID

It goes from innocent to raver vibe.

WHAT I SAID

I like that she didn’t go neon in her ultraviolet choices, and this girl can do a lot of work — that beading is so cool — in a short time.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Heidi calls it fashion forward and loves the fabrics Erin used to create her own textile. Nina called it demure and sexy and loved that, under the blacklight, it looked like a jellyfish. The Adorable Zac Posen™ called it sophisticated and said Erin’s work rivals many famous designers. Jamie King called it stunning and elegant from top to bottom.

THE BOTTOMS

RIK

Rik used to be a raver and so he thinks he has this … uh oh. Then he makes a corset — a warrior look as Tim called it — out of silver holographic material and neon yellow cording.

It’s the skirt that goes haywire, because it, too, is laced up and so the model’s ass is on display — Heidi is not a fan of asses out … boobs, yes, butts, no—and it just doesn’t mesh with the structured top.

WHAT HE SAID

I think I definitely have a standout piece.

WHAT I SAID

It’s like a blacklight hoochie in a red-light district; plus it doesn’t really transform too much.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

“Am I seeing cheeks?” Heidi asks; yes, Heidi. And so she dubs it cheeky and tacky; a hoochie mama in a bad music video in daylight and a Christmas tree in blacklight. Nina wonders about Rik’s taste level and says it’s a lap dance dress.  The Adorable Zac Posen™ loved the top but says the bottom is nothing but problems, from fit to ass cheeks. Jamie King is literally incensed by the bows, telling Rik he cannot do that to a woman; is she a bow-ophobe?

MAH-JING

After Alex wishes Mah-Jing a Happy Father’s Day, Mah-Jing gets the phone home and the ugly, ridiculously long, cry. I begin to think the cry will send him home, but, nope, it’s the dress that does him in.

He tells Tim he’s creating a wedding dress for his fiancé — at which point Nathalia freaks out because the groom isn’t supposed to see the dress before the wedding … settle, grrrrl—and Tim hates it; it’s not well-made and Tim wants it scrapped.

Mah-Jing starts a new “sexy” look and then throws a metallic rope around the color and starts splattering it with ultraviolet paints; he thought he was only using dyes that are clear in daylight but light up in blacklight, but, sadly, he isn’t, and the dress is ruined by pink stripes and splotches. He tries to fix it … by adding more! It’s bad, y’all.

WHAT HE SAID

I feel as if my look is strong in blacklight but dull in daylight.

WHAT I SAID

My first thought: don’t let Dateline NBC blacklight this look, streaked with the DNA of a thousand guests.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina says the daylight look is fine, but the blacklight dress is a crime scene; Heidi, like me, because dirty minds think alike, instantly thought of dirty motel sheets. The Adorable Zac Posen™ called it a forensic disaster. No one likes it … no one!

KIMBER

Kimber picks a floral print — though she never uses prints — and then makes 75% of the dress out of white because, she believes it will pop.

Tim almost popped her in the head; the white is too much, and the two different floral prints she picked don’t work together; Tim calls the look ugly … he was being kind, in my book.

In addition, the floral print doesn’t do much under the blacklight so Kimber tries to paint it, but the paint seeps into the fabric and virtually disappears. That’s an omen if I ever saw one.

Also, she makes one of the simplest dresses ever on the PR: an asymmetrical A-line, raggedy hemmed thing. That’s an omen, too.

WHAT SHE SAID

Thank God I changed the dress.

WHAT I SAID

It’s nothing … it doesn’t change. The only change I saw was when Nina’s face went from disinterested into full sneer.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The Adorable Zac Posen™ called it wearable and cute but was sad that it didn’t transform. Heidi was bored by the look and Nina said the last thing she needed to see was another A-line dress; then she threw her drink in Kimber’s face and stormed out … in my mind at least. Jamie King liked that Kimber liked the dress but told her she needed to step out of her comfort zone a bit.

I thought for sure Mah-Jing would go home because what looks like a cum-stained dress should never be seen on the PR without killing the designer immediately after.

Still, Nina’s rage fueled the fire and Kimber, doing something boring, is sent packing.

As if there was any doubt, Erin gets the top spot, for the second time in three weeks.

Roberi’s look should have been in the top; daylight it was cool, blacklight it was stunning. That was a miss by the judges who chose Cornelius’s look to be in the top.

I mean, emojis? Current? Yeah, they’re current and fun and new but in about six months they’ll be out, with this dress leading the way.

Favorite quote #1 from Nathalia:

“Tim is literally opening my eyes to this whole new world of…sophistication.”

Honey, you can’t learn it; you either have it or, well, you don’t.

Favorite quote #2 from Tim:

“I’m not a nipple guy.”

We knew that, but still it was fun to hear him say it.

Cornelius, backstage, dogging Erin’s look because he thinks his spraypainted, taped off, doctor’s disco dress should have won. I cannot wait for the hens to come flying at him.

Erin seems like a shoo-in for The Tents, while not one of the others stand out yet; maybe Dexter is he steps up his game, and maybe Laurence.

Brik? Gosh he’s just so sweet and nice and really works that hair, but is he a designer? I’m not sure. Mah-Jing seems headed for a breakdown, while Tasha gets a Meh, and Sarah gets a Meh, and Alex gets an Okay … a skosh above Meh.

Rik; he’s just so adorable in his little onesie! I wanted to put him on a high shelf with the rest of my dolls.

What did YOU think?

I Didn't Say It ...

Kathy Miller, Donald [t]Rump’s Ohio County Campaign Chair, on racism in America and who’s to blame:

“I don’t think there was racism until Obama got elected. We have never had problems like this. I am in the real estate industry. There is none. Now you know with the people with the guns. And shooting up neighborhoods. And not being responsible citizens. That’s a big change. And I think that’s the philosophy that Obama has perpetuated on America. If you are black and you haven’t been successful in the last fifty years, it’s your own fault. I think that when we look at the last fifty years where are we and why? We have three generations of all still having unwed babies, kids that don’t go through high school. I mean when do they take responsibility for how they live. I think it’s due time. And I think that’s good that Mr. Trump is pointing that out.”

Wow. America. 2016, or 1816?

And, for the record, this isn’t the woman who works with me—see yesterday’s Random Musings.

On the upside, Miller was forced to resign once it became public that she's an ignorant racist.

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Tom Ford, on his Nocturnal Animals star Jake Gyllenhaal: 

“If you like the chest, you should see what’s down here. There is no manscaping. There is no manscaping.”

The more I learn about Jake, the more I … I’ll leave that there.

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Barbra Streisand, in an op-ed about The Rump:

“We cannot allow America to fall into the hands of a narcissist who has shown no regard for anyone but himself… a bigoted and misogynist reality-TV character with no political experience and no qualms about lying loudly and often.”

Sing it, Babs. No, really, sing it.

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Glenn Beck, to Ted Cruz on his endorsement of The Rump

“You had this information the day you dropped out of the race. And said that Donald Trump is a ‘sociopathic liar.’ You had all this information. Have you spent an enormous amount of time with Donald Trump? Do you have new information that has made you say, ‘Oh my gosh, he’s now not a sociopathic liar. He is not the guy that I very eloquently spelled out, for over a year, and now there’s suddenly a reason to believe him’?”

Although I did not see or hear the exchange, I gather that Cruz had no response because he’s just a pandering bag of scum.

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Gethin Anthony, Game of Thrones and Aquarius actor, on playing one of the only openly gay characters on GoT:

“Westeros is a very scary world, with all the politics and violence going on, so it was nice to play an affectionate gay couple within that world. We were very passionate about it being a positive thing. I still hold on to that and I’m still very proud of it. I got some lovely letters. One that sticks out was from a gentleman who was about to propose, or has perhaps just proposed, to his partner. He said some really nice things about seeing a gay relationship on television. Whenever people connect to things you’re involved with or a story you’re telling, it’s a lovely thing.”

We need to some out, and we need to be represented on television, and in film, in positive ways.

That’ll spark some change.

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President Obama, at the opening of the National Museum of African American History and Culture:

“And so this national museum helps to tell a richer and fuller story of who we are. It helps us better understand the lives, yes of the president, but also the slave; the industrialist but also the porter; the keeper of the status quo but also the activist seeking to overthrow that status quo; the teacher or the cook alongside the statesmen. And by knowing this other story, we better understand ourselves and each other. It binds us together. It reaffirms that all of us are American. That African American history is not somehow separate from our larger American story; it’s not the underside of the American story. It is central to the American story. That our glory derives not just from our most obvious triumphs but how we’ve rested triumph from tragedy and how we’ve been able to remake ourselves again and again and again, in accordance with our highest ideals.”

Perhaps Kathy Miller should spend some time in the museum so she can get her facts and her head straight.

And then, seriously, why can’t this man run for a third term?

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Random Musings

Big surprise, I don’t follow sports; well some sports. I do surprise Carlos with my sports trivia knowledge when we watch Jeopardy. I answer a question right—or is it Question an answer right?—and I get a look from him like he doesn’t know me. But I digress …

I don’t follow sports, especially professional skateboarding, but apparently one of its biggest draws, Brian Anderson, has just come out as gay. Anderson, who won the Skater of the Year award and a World Cup of Skateboarding title back in 1999, and founded 3D Skateboarders, is now forty and says he is now being asked why he waited until now, and not come out earlier where he might have been an inspiration to others; Anderson replied:

“Hearing ‘faggot’ all the time, it made me think at a young age, it was really dangerous to talk about it. I figured it out how to balance it to where nobody questioned it and I was a big tough skateboarder, of course they’re not going to question that. Nobody thought anything. … I was really scared,” he said. “People would have perceived it differently if I’d said it 15 years ago.”

Anderson says his family and friends knew he was gay, but he never publicly talked about it until now:

“I think of how I felt when I was younger, totally scared. A lot of these kids who don’t have hope are really scared to death. To hear what I went through, and that everything got better for me, and I got a lot happier and felt more free and didn’t have all this shame buried in my body, you become a happier person. So to convey that message is really important to me. I consider myself a skateboarder first, gay second. I’m a skater, that’s all I know.”

And now an inspiration to others, and the recipient of The Gay Agenda and The Coming Out Toaster Oven from HOMO HQ.

Welcome out, Brian; however you do it, and whenever you do it, just do it.

Again, for those of you thinking Pope Francis is an LGBT-friendly Pope, he has once against proven that he is not.

This past week, Pope “Who am I to judge?” Frankie voiced his support for an anti-gay protest in Mexico which was attended by up to 80,000 people.

And, despite saying in 2013 that LGBT people should not be “marginalized” and in 2015 saying the church should apologize to gay people for how they have been treated by the institution, in April he said there are “no grounds” for comparing same-sex marriages with “traditional marriages” and last month he spoke out against transgender children, saying “Today in schools, they are teaching this to children — to children! — that everyone can choose their own gender” and now he has given his blessing to a Mexican protest against same-sex marriage and is “in favor of family and life, which in these times require special pastoral and cultural attention around the world.”

Who am I to judge? Well, it’s pretty easy when his actions are decidedly anti-LGBT to know that he’s full of … well you know.

Despite the video, and the fact that nearly 100 million people saw it, _____ denies he had sniffles at Monday night’s debate:

“No, no sniffles. You know, the mic was very bad, but maybe it was good enough to hear breathing. But no sniffles. No cold.”

[t]Rump also blamed the mic for the fact that future President Hillary Clinton mopped the floor with that dead rat on his head:

“My mic was defective within the room. No, no — I wonder. Was that on purpose? Was that on purpose? But I had a mic that wasn’t worked — working properly. But overall, I thought it was great. And if you look at the polls, they’re though the roof.”

Yeah, for Hillary.

Last week little Prince George met Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who tried to high-five the child who was not having it and who then said:

“A high five? I don’t think so, sir. Protocol calls for a bow from the waist.”

Now, bow!

So, I heard there was a new TV show based on The Exorcist film of the 1970s and I wasn’t really interested. But, I does likes to be scared, so I DVR’d it and Carlos and I watched it over the weekend.

It’s creepy, and ooky, and icky, and, well, Carlos might have had nightmares—the man cannot handle scary — but it also had one thing going for it: Alfonso Herrera as father Tomas, or, as I said when he first appeared onscreen:

Hellooooooooo Padre!

Carlos was not amused.

So, it looks like Disney wants to buy Twitter, on the market for some $20 billion dollars.

No changes planned; you’ll still be limited to just 140 characters, but now they’ll all have to be animated.

Back to the debate … remember when future President Hillary Clinton brought up the architect of a _____ golf course clubhouse, who was stiffed by the “billionaire”?

That architect, Andrew Tesoro, whom _____ still owes over $100, 000 — roughly half Melania’s Botox Budget — spoke to MSNBC about ______, and addressed _____’s claim that “maybe he didn’t do a good job” and that’s why he was stiffed, by showing a letter of recommendation that _____ wrote for him in 2006 when the job was done. In the letter, _____ praised Tesoro as being a “top-notch architect” and yet he stiffed him on the bill:

“[_____] paid partially along the way and the project snowballed over a four year period … We became very much involved in interior design and construction stage work. We made many supplemental agreements as we went along and in the end those agreements were not honored … [_____]  had his chance to pay his bill ten years ago. It was a considerable sum of money, probably in excess of $100,000 that we were left short at the end of the project.”

Tesoro says _____ assured him that much more work and recommendations would come if he’d just let the outstanding debt slide.

Huh, he cannot even afford $100,000? He ain’t no billionaire, he’s just another con man.

Wells Fargo CEO John Stumpf may not lose his job over the phony account scandal that has cost his bank its reputation but he’s gonna lose his bonus and then some.

Last week, the Wells Fargo board announced that it is forcing Stumpf to forfeit his $45 million dollar bonus.

Yes, that’ll hurt, because a man who has a job where his bonus is forty-five million is very clearly making much more than that annually. Plus, he’ll probably get a double bonus next year.

Greedy fothermucker.

Too bad so sad, but _____’s children [of the corn] are said to be very unhappy with the new management of his campaign, led by Steve Bannon and Kellyanne Conway.

Oh kids, they are the third team he’s chosen this year so maybe it’s isn’t them, it’s him?

Former House Speaker, and fellow serial adulterer, Newt Gingrich, has gone to the mud with that other GOP pig Donald [t]rump and his body shaming of, Alicia Machado, a former Miss Universe by winner, telling an audience of Trumplodytes, AKA Log Cabin Republicans:

“You’re not supposed to gain 60 pounds during the year that you’re Miss Universe. Not fair. Even my act of saying that is sexist and proves I’m not being sensitive.”

Funny, right? Of course, when you consider this comes from a man who cheated on two of his three wives and who supports a man who has cheated on two of his three wives, well, this is the GOP.

So, a Florida woman has paid some $50, 000 for the right to punch pharmaceutical-douchebag Martin Shkreli in the face.

After recently learning his friend’s 6-year-old son was battling cancer, Shkreli decided to auction off a chance for someone to punch him in the face to raise money for the boy’s treatment.

Sadly, before the first punch was even thrown it has become evident that Shkreli — judging by that photo below — has already been pummeled in the face and in that empty spot where his heart ought to be.

So, we have a new employee at work and I made the mistake of discussing politics with her; she’s a _____ supporter and literally believes every word the man says. So, I remained calm — I did! — and told her that it might be best if we didn’t talk politics … because she’s a loon. As I said, I maintained my calm, and left out that last part.

But then another co-worker and I began discussing the shooting in Charlotte of Keith Lamont Scott and this new person inserted herself into the discussion saying that the Black Lives Matter movement was created by Obama and funded by the DNC.

Yes.She.Did.

I replied that I wasn’t sure about that but that I was disgusted by the fact that so many black men — this was the morning we learned about the black man in San Diego shot by police — were being  gunned down, and that you never hear of white men being killed by police. She said, and I quote:

“That’s because white people don’t act like that.”

I again retained my calm, and simply held up my hands and said:

“I’m out. This conversation is over.”

I’m still shocked that this is, or at least appeared to be, a rational woman. And I work with her … pray for me. Pray for her.