This week we're subjected to one of those “Oh Good We get A Break
From Designing” ruses that always ends up in a challenge. The show opens with
the designtestants headed over to Jay-Z’s 40/40 club for a much-needed night
off when SURPRISE!!! they walk into
an empty club and SURPRISE!!! they’re
greeted by Not Heidi Alyssa Milano.
Do the producers really think that the viewers or the designtestants
truly believe that there is ever any time off, especially when the cameras are
running? But I digress …
Alyssa tells the designtestants that they must find their inspiration
in a cocktail—and if I had a nickel for every time I’ve been insp- … never mind — and
create a cocktail dress. M’kay. They
will choose from a list of drinks ALLEGEDLY
served at 40/40 and use the drink name, color, ingredients and presentation
to make their looks.
Mychael chooses first and then passes the cocktail napkin until
one by one we’re down to Irina by herself. She takes being last chosen as a badge
of honor that the others feel she’s a threat; I’d take it as they don’t like
you, but that’s me. The designers have 1 day and $100 so … Oh yeah, there was a
twist — get it? Cocktail Challenge with Twist! The designtestants needed to make a
garnish, er, accessory for their looks.
Let’s rip …
THE SAFES
SETH AARON—The Hemingway: Grapefruit, lime, triple sec and
rum. I guess that says dominatrix-hooker, because that’s what I saw on the
catwalk. Simple and safe, though.
IRINA—The Strawberry Field: Strawberries, lemon, pepper and
whisky. She made a peplum? Oh for the love of the Baby Jeebus when will this Peplum
Love end? And do not get me started on that too-small, window screen shrug or
the exposed wide black zipper running down the model’s ass.
MYCHAEL—The Spotted Plum: Plums, simple syrup, gin and
basil. It was a sexy little number but
the floral details he made for the hips are a bad idea; big hips. Anyone? And
the floral detail looked unfinished.
THE BOTTOM THREE
KORTO—Summer: Green apples, ginger and vodka
While the drink was a simple pale green number, Korto picked
a vibrant green and yellow print dress and then garnished it with a black
patent belt.
WHAT I SAID
As much as I hate a peplum, I loathe a mullet dress even
more. I did love the flirtiness of it, but why you gotta go business in the front
and party on the rear on us?
WHAT THEY SAID
Guest Judge Rebecca Minkus loved the fabric — though said it
looked like a costume — and hated the black patent leather garnish in the middle.
Fellow Guest Judge Nate Berkus agreed about the belt, and asked her to remove
it, at which point Isaac Mizrahi commanded that the belt be returned to its
rightful place. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ also loved the belt. Alyssa thought the back was an ode to
back fat with all the straps and said there were a lot of ideas and could have
used an edit.
WHAT HAPPENED
Korto got a pass.
JEFFREY—La Exotique [the virgin version]: Passion fruit,
cardamom and anise
He decided that the flavor of the drink reminded him of
Vietnam, and a traditional Vietnamese halter dress, the Ao dai.
WHAT I SAID
It looked like old couch fabric with a French Poodle rhinestone
dog collar at the top. It was too long — which made it seem old — and that fabric? I didn't think Ao dai, I thought Oy, damn!
WHAT THEY SAID
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ hated the jeweled neckline
and said it looked cheap, which caused Jeffrey to remind her that they only had
$100, which caused The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ to say he should have spent the
money elsewhere. Rebecca thought it looked poorly executed, while ate said he normally
loves Jeffrey’s work but that this was an Uh
oh. When Isaac said he thought Jeffrey might have needed more time, Jeffrey
responded that his model is smaller than his mannequin so after fitting it to
the model he had no dress form upon which to work. Alyssa says he has too many
excuses and Isaac agreed, saying, "He's almost begging to be sent home
this week."
WHAT HAPPENED
Jeffrey didn’t get his wish. He’s safe.
MELISSA—The Sunset: Watermelon, lemon, honey and vodka.
Sunset apparently says purple to Melissa, even though her
drink was anything but purple. And it also said black and yellow.
WHAT I SAID
Oddly enough, I agreed with Christopher. She made versions of
this dress all through her season: high asymmetrical color and low asymmetrical
hem. Channeling Dmitry. She’s a One trick
monkey.
WHAT THEY SAID
Alyssa said that the high side of the dress looked heavy — and
kind of boobie squashing, while Rebecca thought the cuff was meant as a counterbalance
that didn’t work. Nate said he loved the color choices — Yes, he thinks purple black
and yellow say sunset when they actually say swarming bees around an iris — but felt
it was one too many; meaning he wanted a two-color dress. Isaac hated the
hemline and the neckline and said it looked now
not forward and they wanted
forward. He also called it sale rack.
WHAT HAPPENED
And sale rack really means Set sail! You’re goin’ home!
THE TOP THREE
ELENA –The Sardinia: Fennel, lemon juice, strawberries,
simple syrup and vodka
Elena only does couture people, and she has to kind of dumb
herself down to create for the PR. And what did she create: a neoprene white
dress with tiny sleeves and cut-outs.
WHAT I SAID
It’s the same dress/coat/jacket/shirt she’s been making all
season only last night she left out the color and went monotone. I want to see
something that doesn’t look like it also needs a face mask and an oxygen tank
and flippers.
WHAT THEY SAID
Nate — perhaps trying to prove he has a reason to be there — says
he likes it but that it references work by Balenciaga and Narciso; name
dropper. Rebecca thinks it’s beautiful — I’m sensing a theme: one word answers
that include the word ‘beautiful. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loves the garnish — a clutch — but
feels the rest of the look is too restrained, though it was great work for a
short time frame. Hello? Neoprene! Isaac — after Elena again says she only
does couture and not this particular style — says she needs to be herself and not
anyone else; he loathed the way she downplays her looks. Alyssa also feels like
she’s seen this look before — like last week? The week before that? — but says
Elena intrigues her.
WHAT HAPPENED
Elena gets saved.
CHRISTOPHER—The Rose: Raspberries, lemon juice, Proseco
His drink was very feminine and very girly and very wispy — a perfect
fit for Christopher — so he picked pale pink chiffon and lace curtain material.
He’d wanted to do some sort of petal detail but that idea was shelved, or else
he made them, and then while staring at Seth Aaron, he plucked them off one by
one He loves me! He loves me not!
WHAT I SAID
It was a simple looking flapper dress made of curtain lace
over chiffon. It was pretty, but it wasn’t a Wow dress at all. As one designer sniped, It only had two seams.
WHAT THEY SAID
Nate Berkus declared it the winner and said it looked like a
thousand dollar dress and not a hundred dollar dress. Maybe Nate was hoping for
a Christopher hook-up? Just sayin’. Alyssa said she was obsessed with it, and
called it gorgeous and surprising. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved the curtain
fabric once she found out it was curtain fabric, which I think means she was
less than impressed beforehand. Isaac liked the dress but thought the back,
with the jeweled straps, was gratuitous; The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™
agreed that it was kind of a cha-cha back.
Rebecca called it beautiful.
WHAT HAPPENED
Christopher is safe and is either back at 40/40 canoodling
with Nate Berkus or the bartender.
VIKTOR—The Tiger Eye: Lemongrass, lime, cucumber and tequila
At Mood Viktor finds a print of a chapel or church or
cathedral and cuts the print meticulously so that there are two eyes — get it,
Tiger Eyes — on the front of his dress. There were cuts and flaps. Oh my.
WHAT I SAID
I liked it, somewhat. The print worked out very well — kudos for
execution — but the eyes were distracting as was that front flap that seemed more
like a gateway to VaginaTown. And me without a passport … thankfully.
WHAT THEY SAID
The
Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ thought it was a great use of the print,
though that flappage at the front was a sex crime waiting to happen. Alyssa
also wasn’t a fan of the bottom half of the dress, but said the top half gave
her goosebumps. Isaac said, Congratulations, darling, I think it’s dive.
He also called it beautiful and fashion forward. Nate loved the shoulders
and the piece work in the back — which is basically, I liked small bits but on
the whole not so much. Rebecca says the print looks like it was engineered
specifically for that design.
WHAT HAPPENED
Viktor gets the win and snaps open that fan.
MY TAKE
Viktor is too much with the wardrobe. The shorts and straw
hat, with the sock garters and the fan” it’s enough, boo, you aren’t RuPaul and
this ain’t no Drag Race.
Korto? Enough with the confessionals that being with “My
fans …” It’s a little too Joan Crawford and you have access to too many wire
hangers.
Nate Berkus? How is a fashion designer supposed to judge
clothes? I really felt he was a bit of a stretch, and a bit pompous.
Elena? I hope she tries something new next week. I hope the
judges tell her No Neoprene!! I hope
she stops cackling maniacally.
Stop with the phony Ooh,
we get a night off edit because no one buys it. Anyone who watches the PR
knows that every single outing is tied to a challenge and there are no nights
out or days off.
What did YOU think?
The challenges are getting more and more strained.
ReplyDeleteWe had to stop the tv to see, yes, Viktor was wearing sock garters!
Melissa's dress sent her home, but the funny part is I want that dress!
ReplyDeleteJeffrey should have gotten his wish. That fabric was dreadful, and the fact the hemline was below the knee made it that much worse.