The Mittsy Chronicles: An Olympic-sized Douche

Pity poor Mittsy....I giggle at that.

I mean Mittsy went to Great Britain to show what a great president he'd be in dealing with foreign powers, and decided to shove both Italian loafers in his mouth at the same time. An Olympic feat for most of us, but, well, just another day for Mittsy.

His trip was meant to illustrate his command of the international relations, but it has become, as one newspaper, The Guardian, said:  "Mitt Romney's Olympics blunder stuns No. 10 and hands gift to Obama."

The Guardian went one further, and began running live Tweets about RomneyGaffe2012: "Romney in London....It's a little comic relief. Kind of like Mr. Bean, only he's an American."

Mittsy in the UK has been a d-i-saster from the moment he arrived, and one of his--and I use the term loosely--"advisors," said that Romney's "Anglo-Saxon heritage" meant he could forge closer ties to Britain than Obama.

Cuz, you know, Obama's Black, y'all.

Now, Mittsy did try The Step Back from those remarks, and instantly started more drama when he suggested that, maybe, just days before the start of the Olympic Games, that London wasn't ready: "You know, it's hard to know just how well it will turn out....There are a few things that were disconcerting, the stories about the private security firm not having enough people, the supposed strike of the immigration and customs officials; that obviously is not something which is encouraging."

Oh, but he did.

Then he questioned whether or not the British people had the "spirit" for the games:  "Do they come together and celebrate the Olympic moment? That's something which we only find out once the Games actually begin."

Foot.Meet mouth.

Prime Minister David Cameron was not amused: "You're going to see beyond doubt that Britain can deliver...We are holding an Olympic Games in one of the busiest, most active, bustling cities anywhere in the world. Of course it's easier if you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of nowhere." AKA Salt Lake City.

Suh-nap. In Wimbledon-speak: point Mister Cameron.

And Cameron wasn't the only one dogging Mittsy's idiotic, and really, derogatory, statements. London mayor, Boris Johnson, said, at the Games' opening ceremonies: "There's a guy called Mitt Romney who wants to know whether we're ready. Are we ready? Are we ready? Yes we are!"

And 50,000 people cheered Johnson, while the rest of the world booed Mittsy.

And, again, Mittsy did The Step Back, AKA The Flip Flop. After a meeting at 10 Downing Street, with the prime minister, Romney tried to spin his stupidity: "I am very delighted with the prospects of a highly successful Olympic Games. What I have seen shows imagination and forethought and a lot of organization and I expect the Games to be highly successful."

Doesn’t sound like high praise to me, it sounds like he wants the world to know about "his" Olympics, because, with an ego the size of a Swiss Bank account, Mittsy is all about Mittsy.

And, naturally, the White House joined in with the Mittsy Smackdown: "In keeping with our special relationship, the president also made it clear that he has the utmost confidence in our close friend and ally, the United Kingdom, as they finalize preparations to host the London Olympics."

But Romney's Olympic Douchebaggery didn't end with just The Games. He also spoke openly about meeting the head of Britain's top-secret MI6 intelligence agency, something which is considered a lapse in protocol, causing even the most conservative Brits to sound the anti-Mittsy alarm.

"Who invited him?" The Daily Mail asked, calling his visit "humiliating." The paper's political editor, James Chapman, provided a Twitter play-by-play of Romney's very bad day, one of which called Romney "worse than Sarah Palin."

Okay. I need a giggle break. Worse.Than.Palin. Two birds. One stone. God, I love the Brits.

Another Tweet from Chapman said Romney was "devoid of charm, warmth, humour or sincerity."

Honey, you are preachin' to the choir. I, and a lot of my fellow Americans, have been saying that for, well, years.

The Daily Mail also reported another gaffe, calling it "cringe-worthy" when Romney referred to British opposition leader Ed Miliband as "Mr. Leader," while other reports said he used the term because he'd forgotten Miliband's name.

Oh Mittsy. It's nice that the world gets to see what we've known all along. You aren't presidential. You don't know what to say, how to say it, or even when you should be speaking, and to whom.

An Olympic-sized douche, you are, Mittsy.

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