Monday, July 15, 2019

God Was Suspended


You may not know, but God has a Twitter account—I follow Her. It’s a satirical account, with over six million followers, that mainly mock _____ and faux-Christians, while supporting the LGBTQ community. But one recent pro-LGBTQ Tweet got God suspended from Twitter and God was not happy. The Tweet in question, from January 2019, said:
“If gay people are a mistake, they’re a mistake I’ve made hundreds of millions of times, which proves I’m incompetent and shouldn’t be relied on for anything.”
Months after the Tweet, Twitter said it violated their community standards and temporarily suspended the God account, and naturally, God was not happy …
“What the fuck, Twitter. Seriously. What the fuck. What the fuck is this.”
But when God appealed Twitter’s decision, the account was restored with the following message:
“Hello God, Our support team has received your account and it appears we made an error. We’ve determined there was no violation and have restored your account to fill functionality. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience and appreciate you taking the time to submit your appeal to request to us.
Thanks, Twitter”
But God is not to be trifled with, and so a God Tweet was issued:
“’Hello God?’ Please. Don’t try to make all kissy-kissy with Me now, Twitter. It’s too late. You messed with the wrong Near Eastern Bronze Age sky-father-king projection. By the time I’m done with you, MYSPACE will laugh at your relevance.”
It just proves you don’t mess with the God of Twitter.

7 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

hee hee! how is your dad doing?

BootsandBraids said...

Did God just SMITE twitter? ROFLMAO.

the dogs' mother said...

Do not mess with God! :-)
Is Oregon treating you well?
Best to your Dad.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Smite them, O Lord, SMITE THEM!

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

You don’t mess with god. She’ll slap some divine anger into you. Are you listening, Twitter?
XoXo

P.S. hope your dad is doing well!

Dave R said...

I keep waiting for God to put his thumb and forefinger together and flick the Idiot Jerk in the White House back where he belongs.

Ariando said...

And how is it that _______ has not been tossed for his racist ranting!