Friday, December 30, 2016

I Didn't Say It .... Carrie Fisher Said It

I adored Carrie Fisher; not so much the Star Wars Carrie Fisher, but the writer Carrie Fisher, the humorist Carrie Fisher, the mentally ill Carrie Fisher. I liked the way she could take what life dealt her and have a laugh at it, while still showing us that her issues were serious issues. She did so much for mental health in this country just by talking about it and joking about it.

I read Wishful Drinking and quoted it for days; we saw Wishful Drinking and laughed and laughed;  I recorded it on HBO and am so happy I saved it so I can always have a Carrie moment when I need one ... so here's some Carrie Fisher ...

... on her appearance
"They always do [ask me to lose weight]. They want to hire part of me, not all of me. They want to hire about three-fourths, so I have to get rid of the fourth somehow. The fourth can't be with me."

... on having her body compared to Elton John's
"Blow my big bovine tiny dancer cock."

... on Hollywood expectations
"Even in space there's a double standard for women."

... on aging
"I'm not happy about being older, except what are the options?"

... on her place in history
"I am Princess Leia, no matter what. If I were trying to get a good table, I wouldn't say I wrote Postcards [From the Edge, her best-selling novel]. Or, if I'm trying to get someone to take my check and I don't have ID, I wouldn't say: "Have you seen When Harry Met Sally?" Princess Leia will be on my tombstone."

... on her place in the Twitterverse
"Please stop debating about whether or not I aged well. Unfortunately, it hurts all three of my feelings. My body hasn't aged as well as I have. Blow us."

... on relationships
"Everyone drives somebody crazy. I just have a bigger car."

... on her natural demeanor
"I act like someone in a bomb shelter trying to raise everyone's spirits."

... on her sanity
"I feel I'm very sane about how crazy I am."

... on what kept her sane
"I don't think I was ever suicidal, and that's probably because of drugs."

... on keeping sane
"If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable."

...on suffering mental illness
"The world of manic depression is a world of bad judgment calls." 

...on finding happiness
"Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell."

...on patience 
"Instant gratification takes too long."

... on wisdom
"I basically consider myself street smart, unfortunately that street is Rodeo Drive."

...on the best and worst parts of success
"The best part is money, traveling and the people you meet. The worst part is, again, money, travel and the people you meet."

... on her Hollywood families
"Who's more famous than Debbie [Reynolds] and Eddie [Fisher]? C-3PO and Darth Vader."

...on having famous parents 
"I am truly a product of Hollywood in-breeding. When two celebrities mate, someone like me is the result." 

... on how her father, Eddie Fisher, helped Elizabeth Taylor after her husband's death
"He first dried her eyes with his handkerchief, then he consoled her with flowers, and he ultimately consoled her with his penis. This made marriage to my mother awkward."

... on her father's autobiography
"I'm thinking of having my DNA fumigated."

... on religion
"You know how they say that religion is the opiate of the masses? Well, I took masses of opiates religiously."

... on her aspirations
"I am hoping to get the centerfold in Psychology Today."

...on bottling up feelings
"Resentment is like drinking a poison and waiting for the other person to die."

...on death
"No. I fear dying. Anything with pain associated with it, I don't like. I've been there for a couple of people when they were dying; it didn't look like fun. But if I was gonna do it, I'd want someone like me around. And I will be there!"

Rest in Peace, Carrie, you’ve earned it. And thanks so much for the laughs and the tears and the insights.


the dogs' mother said...


Professor Chaos said...

If you need more Carrie Fishrr no.ents, check out Catastrophe on Amazon. She has a recurring role as Robs mother and is delightfully sour.

Raybeard said...

Just about all of these are new to me. Had no idea she'd been such a wit.

On seeing the original Star Wars 40+ years ago I was so worried that I might be getting the hots for Ms Fisher. Could I really be on the turn? Not to worry - false alarm, but 'Phew!'