Thursday, December 22, 2016

Random Musings

You know he loves to put his name on things, but this is ridiculous.

While Donald _____ is touring America to thank the people who voted for him—roughly 3 million less than voted for Hillary—he has issued a new gift from his “Thank You Tour”: the party cup.

A typically disposable item—Walmart sells them in bulk, 50 for $6.27 or 13-cents each—_____ is charging $23.00 for a pack of four! And they look like those iconic red SOLO cups seen at teen parties and frat houses everywhere they are not exactly reusable, though they come with a “hand wash only” disclaimer.

Would that we could wash our hands of _____.

At any rate, I prefer to think of it as the I Voted For The Racist Bigoted Anti-Immigrant Anti-Muslim Anti-LGBT Unqualified Misogynist Guy And All I Got Was a $6.00 Plastic Cup cup.
Still, if you’re looking for some _____ merch, look no further than Vancouver entrepreneurs, Matthew Paish and Sarbjit Gill, who were stunned at the _____ election, and so they created a pair of “undies for humanity” called The Protest Pair that they’re funding through Kickstarter.

The underwear features a buffoon yelling into the abyss, holding a megaphone in his teeny-tiny hands. “Blah blah blah blah blah” is written all over to represent his tweets. There’s also a horizontal fly thoughtfully placed over Mr. Trump’s mouth for easy access when nature calls.

While I find it high-larious, I do not want _____’s mouth, even a cartoon _____’s mouth anywhere near my junk. Still, they are funny ...
Sári ‘Zsa Zsa’ Gábor Belge Hilton Sanders Hutner Cosden Ryan O’Hara de Alba von Anhalt died at what was presumed to be 99 years old this week.

That is all, darrrrrrrlings
Britney Spears has a new boyfriend, ALLEGEDLY, and he is ALLEGEDLY a model—he appeared in a BritBrit video—and a personal trainer named Sam Asghari.

Whatever he does for a living she is one lucky bitch.
Last week, after running several errands, Carlos and I stopped in at our local pizza place to get some take-out. Since it was Friday night, the place was busy and so we took a spot in line.

In front of me was a little person and when it was his turn he stepped up to the counter to order. He asked for a pizza and some salads, I think, and then he asked for an order of fries; the woman at the counter said:
“Small fry.”
Now, I am so politically incorrect that I stifled a giggle. I kept thinking about an episode of Will and Grace when, at Karen’s wedding to Lyle Finster—and, yes,  I am a whore for W&G—Jack looked at a plate of seafood and said, “Shrimp.”

And Beverley Leslie, who was walking by and is rather short, tuned back and said, “Queer.”

That’s what I was thinking about the little person and the small fry.

That’s just me. Now, to be fair, and clear, I didn’t laugh inside the pizza place, I maintained my composure until I got to the car. And then I had to explain to Carlos the two meanings of ‘small fry.’
So, apparently Tom Arnold has video of Donald _____ suing the n-word during The Apprentice.

Quelle surprise, _____ is a racist? But Arnold had previously said he wouldn’t release the tape, but now he’s rethinking that idea because he says he received a voicemail from _____’s team threatening a defamation lawsuit over his claims that he has seen the rumored tape on racist _____.

Sit down, Arnold, you should have released this hate speech before the election, and you’re only talking now because you’re a nobody looking for another fifteen minutes of fame.

We know _____'s a racist; racists voted for him so they won’t care that he used the n-word.

Carlos and I decided that we wouldn't do gifts this year because we had a a major, major, expense in the car repair department and we are ready to rip out the carpets and lay down some hard woods ... in the house,. I mean.

So, we opted to make New Floors our Christmas gift this year, but then I saw a couple of things Carlos needed and one thing he didn't know he needed until he sees it Christmas Day so I bought those for him.

And then I saw something I wanted ... a living doll.

Fingers crossed he gets the hint!
So, after Pat McCrory passed North Carolina’s Hate Bill—HB2—into law and after it cost him reelection, North Carolina Republican lawmakers decided to the anti-LGBT law, except ... their plan does not entirely repeal HB2.

Their new bill—SB4—does repeal HB2, including its restrictions mandating what bathrooms transgender people may use, but it also creates a “Six-Month Cooling-Off Period,” in which no municipality in the state may pass any laws related to employment or public accommodations, specifically noting “access to restrooms, showers, or changing facilities.”

Sounds like a bait-and-switch to me, but then that’s the GOP, right? That’s another six months that LGBT people in Charlotte, and around the state, will have no explicit legal recourse at the state or local level if they experience discrimination in employment, housing, or public accommodations.

In the end, the NC Senate approved an amendment to the repeal bill extending the six-month moratorium on local protections until the end of the 2017 legislative session. In other words, the deal got worse, because North Carolina Republicans refuse to vote for a bill that will still allow cities to protect LGBT people from discrimination.

Hate lives on in North Carolina thanks to the GOP.
So, this week we got a Christmas card from my dad. It had the right street name, but the wrong house number; in fact, there is no house on this street with the number my dad used.

But we got the card anyway.

Now, was it because the card had our correct names on it? You know, first and last names? Nope, the card was addressed to ‘Bob and Carlos,’ no last names, but it wasn’t returned to the Post Office ... that's it up there ... because, living in a small town, the Postman knew that a Bob and Carlos lived at our address so he simply put it in the box.

Small towns do have their perks, like getting mail addressed to a couple of first names at the wrong address.
So, the Devil’s Helper, Kellyanne Conway was on GMA this morning calling _____ the "People's President."

Um, yeah, that means the "People's President" has a Cabinet whose net worth is hovering around $13 BILLION dollars. Not exactly the wealth of "the people."

Note to Kellyanne: While he may be the "Electoral College's President" it's clear that Hillary Clinton is the "People's President."

So, Kellyanne, again I ask you to sit the fuck down.


Anonymous said...

"Small fry" ha! You have better self-control than I Mr. Slatten! Just my personal opinion, but, considering where the hole is, wouldn't it be more appropriate to wear the Drumf Drawers backwards?


anne marie in philly said...

I second deedles about the underwear!

"lay down some hard woods" - bwhahahahahahaha! I bet they are hard woods! ;-b

the dogs' mother said...

You are just famous, that's it! :-)
(We get Uncle J and Aunt K)

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Great tweets at the end there!

mistress maddie said...

I'm never one to pass up on a guy near my junk...but nope not trump. Brittany is doing better these days. I can't help but wonder if she met him through Willie Gomez , her main back up dancer. I think I may just add both of them to the list. He's hot!!!!!! RIP Zsa Zsa.