Saturday, December 17, 2016

It's Snarkurday!

Who to believe ... apparently there’s been a feud a’brewing between ALLEGED “mean” comic Kathy Griffin and ALLEGED “nice” comic Ellen DeGeneres.

In Kathy’s new book, Kathy Griffin’s Celebrity Run-Ins: My A-Z Index, buy it now, girlfriend needs the coins, there is a NotSoBlind item about Kathy and a certain blonde TV host who is known to be oh-so-nice ... or is she?

Kathy is now saying that blond host is Ellen and she claims that Ellen hated both Kathy and her long-time friend, the late Joan Rivers, and considered them to be “mean” comics.

Well, sooner than you could say D-List Meet A-List, an ALLEGEDLY “livid” Ellen called Kathy and cussed her out all the while claiming that she doesn’t hate Kathy and yet then adding that Kathy shouldn’t expect an invite to Ellen anytime soon, because she doesn’t have to have anyone on her show that she doesn’t want on her show.  Ellen hung up and Kathy cried, until she realized she could write about it in a book and pocket some change.

So, who do we believe: the “mean” comic with a book to sell and a grudge? Or the “nice” comic who, let’s face it, cannot be unbelievably nice all the time?

Well, it’s Awards Season with the Golden Globe nominations announced this week and there are always snubs and surprises and shocks and, well, 50 Cent.

It seems Fiddy is really pissed off that Power, the Starz show he produces and co-stars on, was one of those shows snubbed so he took to Instagram like a high school Mean Girl to vent ...
“I’m on the move again, Golden Globe’s can suck a dick. I accept my series POWER was not intended to be a signature show for the network but it is the highest rated show. I know my audience very well, I’m done promoting this out side [sic] of contractual obligations. SEASON 4 KANAN MUST DIE, I got other shit to do. #EFFENVODKA”
Yup, he’s threatening to leave the show since the Globes passed on his epic portrayal.

I kid ... epic. Bye Felicia.
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Ivanka _____ is a big a snake oil salesman as her reprehensible father.

First, she’s gonna run his businesses while he’s in office ::::cough bull shit cough:::: and she will be doing so inside the White House. How does that work? 

I seriously hope this entire Swamp Draining Asshat Klan gets indicted over the next four years because Donald _____ would make a nice prison bitch, Ivanka looks terrible in stripes, Eric will be shivved the first day, and Donny Jr will spend his time in the fetal position crying “Daddy??”

But I digress ... Shady Ivanka is auctioning off a $50,000 “private coffee date” with herself, all to benefit her brother’s foundation, which is a way of saying, her brother. The “meet and greet” on a mutually agreeable date next year at either Trump Tower in Manhattan or the Trump International Hotel in DC will last up to 45 minutes; the winning bid is good for two people, who must pass criminal background checks and be approved by the Secret Service and they will have to “conduct themselves appropriately” with “polite manners” and “respect,” the description says.

The auction is thisclose to the same kind of situation President-elect _____ claimed existed at the Clinton Foundation; he claimed that it was a way the wealthy could curry favor with Hillary Clinton through “pay to play” contributions.

Wouldn’t that be similar to sitting down to Starbucks with Ivanka at a _____-branded hotel?
Seriously, fifty thousand to sip coffee with a snake? I ain’t that thirsty.

Speaking of _____, Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief of Vogue, has apparently decided top press her lips to his fat ass.

Wintour, a longtime supporter of the Democratic Party, was once overheard talking sh-t about _____. The comments ...
“_____’s foundation has done nothing. Its board is packed with relatives, and he’s going to use his presidency to sell himself and his brand and profit personally for himself and his family.”
... were leaked to the press and she ALLEGEDLY apologized for them.

And just this week she showed up at _____ Tower to kiss something of his.

Hypocrite. Panderer. Asshat. The both of them.
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This week was Taylor Swift’s 27th birthday; I know, twenty-seven? She still acts like a twelve-year-old girl. But I digress, because this year she got a special gift from ex-boyfriend, John Mayer.

Swifty had a brief fling with Mayer years back and when they broke up she naturally wrote a song about how mean he was ... Dear John.

And so she was pissy with him, and grew pissier when he became involved with her frenemy Katy Perry ... let’s not even go into the Petri dish of STDs floating around that trio.

Anyway, John celebrated his ex’s 27th birthday with a Tweet—since deleted, though saved by many via screenshot—that called the date of her birthday the lamest day of the year:
‘Tuesday, December 13 may be the lamest day of the year, conceptually.’
It’s amazing these two kids broke up because they are both just a couple of bratty self-involved Tweet-agers.

Madonna. Does she know when to shut up? I mean, stop talking and for the love of god, stop singing, too.

Madge was given Billboard’s Woman of the Year Award and she took the time to gloat about how she has outlasted dead people:
“Michael is gone, Tupac is gone, Prince is gone, Vicki is gone, Amy Winehouse is gone. David Bowie is gone. But I am still standing.”
You may still be standing, but all those dead folks have a couple of things you never will: talent and a heart.

Back to the crypt with you.

Judge Reinhold, has-been actor, was arrested at Dallas Love Field airport after ALLEGEDLY getting pissy TSA pat down.

Not literally pissy. But police say Reinhold gave TSA agents a hard time ... not literally hard ... during his security pat down, so agents offered to continue in a private room. 

But Judge Don’t You Know Who I Am Reinhold told them to f**k off and that he was not going to be patted down at all. Then he took off his shirt and cussed out the TSA agents.

Poor Judge, this will probably go down as his most fondly remembered performance.

8 comments:

Princess said...

Didn't anyone realise that when you drain a swamp you get left with all the gators snakes and low-life... They all seem to be on the move to 1600 pennsylvania avenue...

the dogs' mother said...

Wonder who is next to show up in The Gold Lobby?

Dave R said...

Madonna, Billboard's Woman of the Year? I wonder how much gold that cost.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Judge Reinhold is an idiot. Personally, I always enjoy a nice pat-down at the airport. I specifically request a female security officer, of course.

mistress maddie said...

Madge has definitely had to much tea.....she is bat shit crazy. She needs to stop talking, your right. Its actually sad to watch. I am hoping the Trumps will make complete asses of themselves. They are already doing things they said they wouldn't, and others did. How long till trump gives a position to his one sister who is a judge? And when its over I can say well, y'all voted for this family. And Anna!!!!!! Do people get flip floppy when they get old? First a Kardashian would never do vogue, granted it was two covers to fit her big ass on it, now this!?!?! She is probably angling to get Melania or Ivanka on the cover. I used to think trump was even afraid of the frost bite. Anna.....you are losing it. Snap out of it!!!

anne marie in philly said...

such smelly trash this week, bob. and NO shout-outs to native son fiddy either; he gives our city a bad name.

Helen Lashbrook said...

Is that a brace on Madge's upper jaw, or just a complete set of dentures?

Mitchell is Moving said...

Kathy Griffin can be very funny, but it's usually (almost always) at the expense of someone else. Sorry, I refuse to even listen to her when it comes to Ellen Degeneres (and no one is completely nice all the time). Whether you find Kathy Griffin or found Joan Rivers funny, there's no denying Griffin is and Rivers was a mean comic. That's how Kathy Griffin got famous and that's how Joan Rivers reinvented herself. I won't be buying the book.