Bobservations

By the time you read this, Carlos and I might have decided to go our separate because of his insistence on ….

Wanting.A.Cowboy.Shirt.

Seriously. I can’t with this. I’m already thinking of ways to keep him from leaving the house dressed like a gay Gabby Hayes.

Former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani and his wife of 15 years, Judith, are divorcing; Judith filed for a contested divorce which means there will be a fight over the coins.

Giuliani fell for Judith back in 1999 while he was mayor and still married to his second wife, Donna Hanover. The Hanover-Giuliani divorce was a vicious hot mess, hut, to be clear, Donna Hanover had met and begun an affair with Giuliani while he was still married to his first wife, so his cheating couldn’t have been a surprise. Still, you might remember that Giuliani announced his plan to divorce second wife Donna Hanover at a televised press conference held before she had been told herself.

The best part is that Rudy Giuliani had come out strongly against marriage equality when then-Governor David Paterson proposed a same-sex marriage bill.

The second-best part is that Giuliani got an annulment from his first wife—so he could marry his mistress Hanover—claiming he and the first ex-missus Giuliani were cousins,

One man and his cousin, and then his mistress, and then his other mistress and then … ?

Justin Jones, a Libertarian running for an Arkansas House seat, thinks “fags are disgusting.” 

And he clearly is a moron because he expressed that opinion on the Facebook post of Hawaii resident Myah Baeza who was offering sympathy for a gay friend who couldn’t donate blood because of discriminatory laws. And when Baeza saw his response and called him out for his bigotry and homophobia, Justin ‘Dumbass’ Jones replied:

“If you don’t think HIV is created by homosexuality then you need education. That’s the entirety of my post, for someone who wants free speech, you don’t act like it. I shouldn’t have said ‘f–s’ should have said homosexuals. But I won’t apologize of the moral of my comment, homosexuality is wrong, and shouldn’t be publicly endorsed.”

Naturally when his local station in BumFuckEgypt, Arkansas found the story and reported on it, Justin ‘Dumbass’ Jones walked back his ignorance, a little:

“I recently made a comment that was meant to be satire, but had FACTUAL meaning. In the new day of Social Media, we face backlash for every comment we make, which is putting ‘Free Speech’ at a price. The Aids Epidemic is a VERY big part of the LGBTQ Community. To not recognize that would be a ‘Lie’ to yourself and the LGBTQ Community. In this New Day of politics, we are recognizing the benefits of throwing away the old establishment, and how that didn’t work. Today, we are bringing back ‘FREEDOM OF SPEECH,’ and protecting our 2nd amendment rights. That might be too much for some people, but that’s why we’re getting them out of Public Office.”

Meant to be satire? Oh, honey, you don’t know satire. And you also don’t know that HIV/AIDS is on the rise among straight folks, too, especially those in the black community and those in rural areas …. Like Arkansas.

Hope you don’t get elected, you moronic tool.

I just can’t …the other day GMA told the story of the boy who fell into a sewage pipe over the weekend at Griffith Park and was finally rescued after some twelve hours in the ground.

Nothing to see there, except the “News” people called it an Easter miracle.

Really; so, if he’d been rescued on Tuesday it wouldn’t have been a miracle. 

Give me the news and keep your religious leanings out of the story. That would be the real miracle.

Columbus, Indiana, the hometown of Closeted Homosexual, and Current Vice President, Mike Pence is set to hold its first ever gay pride celebration, in a move intended to show the rest of the country that not everyone from Columbus is an anti-gay closeted homosexual.

Poor Mike Pence, The Gays are marching in his own hometown and he can’t be there?

While those on the right seem content with bashing the younger generation because they’ve become politically and socially active and vocal, it appears that the right just might need to tone it down.

See, most younger Americans oppose _____’s agenda and even believe the Fat Bastard to be “racist,” “dishonest,” and “unfit” to be president.

The midterms are coming up and those eighteen-year-olds will be voting. And I’m loving it.

I gave my opinion of the Roseanne reboot yesterday but forgot to mention two of the unfunniest things I’ve ever seen on a TV comedy:

1] Roseanne’s granddaughter calling her a “stupid old hillbilly.”

That’s funny stuff, but then …

B] Roseanne grabs her granddaughter, shoves her face into the sink and sprays her with water.

Funny. Not.

Ryan Murphy has cast legendary star Joan Collins in American Horror Story, and said he is interested in casting Angelica Huston.

Little is known about the upcoming eighth season—Ryan has not yet revealed the theme—but three of the series’ favorite cast members, Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters, will be back.

But, um, Joan Collins? I mean, she was allegedly such a terror back in the day on her last TV show, could this be American Horror Story: Dynasty?

Speaking of _____, his 2020 campaign manager, Brad Parscale, is calling for Jim Acosta to be stripped of his press credentials after the CNN correspondent questioned the Fat Bastard during the White House Easter Egg Roll on Monday.

Parscale seems to think Acosta … wait for it … it’s precious … “yelled at _____” during the event and so Acosta should be suspended for breaking protocol.”

This is what happened:

Acosta: “Should the DACA kids worry?”

The Fat Bastard: “The Democrats have really let them down. They really let them down. It’s a shame. A lot of people have taken advantage of DACA. It’s a shame.”

Acosta: “[But} didn’t you kill DACA?”

The Fat Bastard didn’t respond, because he, in fact, did kill DACA and that’s why Parscale wants him banned.

Seriously. He “yelled” at _____!

A new show appeared this week on ABC and is being pushed as a kind of a new Lost. Now, having loved Lost—don’t judge—I was interested, especially when I noted that Grant Harvey and Ryan McDonnell were on the show.

I could get lost with them.

Just sayin’.

Architecture Wednesday: Warehouse Home

I love an old building refurbished into a home; churches and barns, schools and warehouses, like this one in Melbourne.

It’s small and cozy and looks a little country woodsy rustic chic, but it’s in the heart of the city.

Click to emBIGGERate

HomeDSGN

My Two Cents: Why Roseanne Doesn't Work For Me

Gosh I loves me some funny; any chance to make a joke, or have a laugh and I am all in. Which leads me to the reboot of Roseanne which premiered last week to yuge ratings and has now achieved near god-like status on ABC’s morning show, Good Morning America, which has hyped Roseanne endlessly for the last five days.

Here’s the deal: it’s not really that funny. At least not in the old Roseanne sense. The old Connor family, while being a lower middle-class family, was also a rather smart family and they would have never bought into _____; they might have Felt The Bern before being ‘With Her,’ but Roseanne Connor wouldn’t have been a _____ fan.

Sadly, though Roseanne Barr is a _____ supporter and so the show took that slant last week; and the laughs didn’t really land and that, for me, was the worst thing of all.

As I said, Roseanne of yesteryear—and it was so last century—was smart and funny and thought-provoking, but I find it hard to separate Roseanne Connor from Roseanne Barr when they both support a lunatic; while Roseanne Connor got swept up in the Make America Great goosestep, Roseanne Barr, since the first go-round ended, has become a racist, transphobic, anti-Islam Twitter Troll.

And that’s where the show lost me, when Roseanne Connor, who was charming and irreverent and funny morphed into some gun-owning sycophant touting the agenda of a man who hates everything that isn’t white or wealthy.

See, Roseanne Connor says she voted for _____ because he “talked” about jobs’ and that would be important for any family that has struggled as much, economically, as this one. But he also talked hate, of brown-skinned people, of Muslims, of transgender Americans and the old Roseanne wouldn’t have liked that; the old Roseanne Connor would have railed against that because this is the Connor family today, and nothing about this family is _____-like …

Darlene has moved back home with her two children; her son, Mark, is a genderfluid child, the kind that _____ might consider transgender and ban from military service. So how does that sit with Roseanne Connor, considering her son DJ was in the Army and is home from Syria, while his wife, also in the military, is still serving overseas? I mean, Roseanne Connor’s choice for president avoided military service because his feet hurt and has done next to nothing to support our troops; and don’t get me started on the idea that D.J. is raising their daughter, who is black, while his wide is away. And yet we’re supposed to believe that Roseanne, and Dan, though he is mostly silent on the topic, voted for a man who doesn’t think their black granddaughter’s life matters? And oldest daughter Becky is planning to be a surrogate for a woman who cannot have a child simply because she needs the money?

That is not the picture of a _____ family. And yet, we’re supposed to believe that this mixed family, of races and gender identities and income levels would be headed by a woman who supported, and support _____simply because the show’s star supports_____?

Now, I will offer some praise, for while they first had their difficulties dealing with Darlene’s son’s gender nonconforming dress, by the end there were hugs and kisses all around, a nice tidy solution tied up in 22 minutes, while the man this woman supports sits in the Oval Office banning gender nonconforming troops from serving their country.

It doesn’t work. And it isn’t funny. And, for me, that’s the worst sin of all because if it made me laugh, if it pointed out the foibles along both sides of this political divide, it might have been better.

But it’s not.

Tuesday Thought #4

Tuesday Thought #3

Tuesday Thought #2

Tuesday Thought #1

#NotRacists Be Like: The Top 10 Phrases Used by People Who Claim They Are Not Racist

I found this on the interwebz and was instantly reminded of the time, or is it times, _____ has declared himself the “least racist person you know.”

He might not be what is dubbed an “intentional racist,” but his racism might be due to his sense of privilege or the fact that he’s vapid and shallow and doesn’t really care about anyone who doesn’t look, or act, or have a bank account, like him.

And there are a lot of him’s out there; a lot of him’s elected him; they’re the ones who agree that not standing for the National Anthem is spitting in the military; the ones who think some neo-Nazis are good people.

And so, The Root, via Michael Harriot, has a countdown of the 10 most popular non-racist, or, as another friend of mine dubs them, closet racist, statements.

And here they are …

10. “Why must everything have to be about race?”

One of the most used ideas in the not-racist handbook is that talking about race creates divisiveness because the more people point out racism, the more ... who knows.

The truth is that talking about race makes white people uncomfortable because it reminds them of the filthy history of white supremacy. That’s why Texas schoolbooks referred to slaves as “immigrants,” and Confederate-flag-wavers have twisted the bloodiest conflict in U.S. history into something about states’ rights, tradition and the North’s hatred of sweet tea ... and declaring human beings to be personal property.

And I get it; it is very uncomfortable for white people to hear about the atrocities of racism knowing that their people are complicit in centuries of mistreatment. It would give me the heebie-jeebies, too. It’s like cheating on a woman, confessing and then wondering why she’s always bringing up old shit when you come home late.

But the only way America will ever cure the cancer of white supremacy is by talking about it and treating it as if it were a disease. If you found a tumor in your left lung and your doctor brought it up every time you lit a cigarette, it would be stupid to respond with, “Why does everything have to be about lung cancer?”

It’s killing you, man. It’s killing you.

9. “I dated a black guy/girl ... ”

A few days ago I received a message from a not-racist woman who genuinely wanted to know why I used the phrase “white people”. I patiently replied to her, and she wrote back that she understood. She explained that she wasn’t racist because her ex-husband was black and she had half-black children. Which left me wondering:

Who are these black men and women dating these clueless white people and leaving them as unwoke as they found them?

You gon’ let her raise your kids, bruh? For real?

Who told “white people” that when a black penis enters a white vagina (or vice versa), the orgasm gives them a special immunity to being a bigot?

If so, where does it go? (The racism, not the penis, stupid.)

Instead of the March on Washington or the Montgomery Bus Boycott, should we have just marched around the country having orgies?

That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.

8. “I don’t see color.”

Do you stop at green lights? How do you play checkers, then? Not-racists will actually try to convince you that they don’t care about race and that erasing the concept of race from our minds is a self-righteous, egalitarian attribute.

Bullshit.

Here is the thing: The idea of a post-racial society is really the desire for a white society. Even nonracist Caucasians don’t mind this because they don’t understand that whiteness has surpassed the classification of a racial category in America and has become the default.

Black people want to be treated like everyone else. We don’t desire to be seen as everyone else. Most African Americans, Mexicans, Jews, etc., love their race and their culture. It is a large part of who we are. We don’t care that you see our color. We just want you to respect it.

Also, how do you play Uno?

7. “You’re the racist!”

In the September 2013 global quarterly Not-Racists, the executive board decided to introduce a clever bit of trickery into the racial discussion in America.

According to the memo obtained by The Root, Caucasians were instructed to respond to any claims of racism, no matter how subtle, with the charge that black people were the racist ones. Since then, according to a poll never conducted by Pew Research, claims of reverse racism have risen more than 389 percent.

I’m not one of those people who believe black people can’t be racist, because I, too, felt racism creep into my heart once when a Caucasian co-worker offered me leftover potato salad. Even though black-on-white racism technically exists, it is rarely injurious.

Because—feeling butt-hurt is not a medical symptom.

6. “I grew up around black people.”

There are people who grew up in the “inner city” or played Pop Warner football on the Negro side of town who believe that they can’t be racist. According to them, growing up around black people—along with Mandingo penis and black vagina—completes the Holy Trinity of racism cures.

When asked why the white boys raised on slave plantations; the millennials who went to integrated schools but carried tiki torches in Charlottesville, Va.; and Darren Wilson, who worked his entire career as a police officer in a majority-black town before he shot Michael Brown Jr., still had remnants of racism in their bloodstreams, white people collectively paused, gazed at their flip-flops for a few brief seconds and replied, “Why does everything have to be about race?”

5. “Not all white people ... ”

Nothing upsets the #NotRacist stomach more than hearing the phrase “white people” used in any capacity. Only the term “white privilege” causes more consternation.

That same woman who wrote the letter I mentioned earlier said this:

"First & foremost, many of us “white people” could care less what racial label you bestow upon us because at the end of the day the same loving GOD that created white skin created dark skin ... Why does there have to be a label? Why must we classify as a “color”? When we are all God’s master piece? No one runs from what the classification of one’s skin color reminds them of! What happened years ago is embarrassing. It’s hurtful! And morally disturbing. I am fortunate, my family did not participate in the barbaric behaviors as other whites. And God help our soul had we ever considered using a racial slur at another person! No my family was not and is not perfect but sir not all of us were mentally disturbed. And that is what someone has to be in order to hold another against their will in captivity. And sir, why would you want to write such things that fuel the hatred? Why would you assume that ALL whites fit into one general spectrum? If this is so, does this mean that because you are black sir that you are a gang banger? Do you see the issue here sir? ”

Although this is one of the most interesting uses of the “not all white people” variations, it raises an interesting point: I have a friend who is black and owns a Tesla. When she hears a mechanic advise people to change their oil every 3,000 miles, she doesn’t say, “Not all cars!” My friend is intelligent enough to know that the mechanic is referring to most cars or the typical car. Nothing in this world is 100 percent. Somewhere there exists a cat who likes having mice around, but for the most part ...

People who object to the word combination “white people” do so only because they aren’t used to being stereotyped. When the letter writer considered every black stereotype and decided to ask if I was a gangbanger, it did not bother me. You know why?

Because I am not a gangbanger.

I am also accustomed to living with the knowledge that my skin engenders certain thoughts about who I am. She does not have to navigate a world that presupposes her psyche on a day-to-day basis.

And that, dear reader, is called “white privilege.”

4. “Go back to Africa!”

Not-racists believe that America belongs to them and that whiteness endows them with the power to excommunicate the offenders of their country at will. This, too, is white privilege.

White privilege is believing that you have the right to tell anyone to leave the country they built with their own hands, for free. White privilege is believing that America is in decline and can be made great again only by a billionaire trust fund baby, but simultaneously saying that black football players have no right to criticize America because it made them rich. White privilege is the belief that this country is yours, and anyone who doesn’t like it should kick rocks. White privilege is the belief that kneeling is cause for being called anti-American, but not the actual, unconstitutional mistreatment of Americans.

That’s why I’m proposing that whenever we hear anyone complain about big government, high taxes, Black Lives Matter, traffic, not enough pineapples on their pizza or ask whether something is gluten-free, black people should cup their hands around their mouths and bellow into the world:

“Go back to Caucasia!”

3. “Why must you always be the victim?”

Another not-racist premise posits that when black people play the “race card,” they are blaming the failures of black people on racism. According to them, we want to make white people the villains and ourselves the victims.

They are partially correct. Black people kill too many other black people. The black family structure is falling apart. Blacks should focus more on education.

Those things will help black people immensely.

But if black people did all those things and ignored the fact that a black college graduate is more likely than a white high school grad to be unemployed, and on average earns less than one; or that schools with majority-black students receive less funds than white schools with the same tax and income bases; or ignored mass incarceration, sentence inequality, the drug war, the history of redlining, banks giving blacks higher interest rates, disproportionate police brutality ...
... that would be stupid.

It’s like asking someone who was sexually abused to never talk about it or even to keep quiet when the cops ask about it because it turns the survivor into a victim.

We are the victims ... of racism.

2. “I don’t want to sound racist, but ... ”

I have been told, on numerous occasions, to never consider anything after “but.” The oldest sleight of hand in the book of racism magic is to proclaim oneself “not racist.” It is a wondrous trick that never works.

It’s akin to R. Kelly opening up a day care center and using the motto, “I’m not a pedophile, but I’d love to babysit your kids!”

Also, whenever anyone says they “don’t want to sound racist,” brace yourself. Because they are definitely about to say some racist shit.

1. “Make America great again.”

I can’t even ...

And my advice? When you hear something, say something. Call out the racist and the not-racist alike because silence is acceptance.

If a person makes a racist remark and you say nothing, you are, in their minds, and the minds of those around you, agreeing.

Say something, even if it’s as simple, “Don’t speak to me again if that’s what you believe.”

Better still,call out their racism and tell them you won’t stand for it, by it, with it.

The Root

When Wingnuts Attack ... Students Fight Back

Of course I stand with the students from Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida; I’ve stood with everyone who has come out in favor of responsible, sensible, common sense gun control, no matter who they are or their age.

Sadly, many on the right, those _____ supporters and lackeys, those rightwingnut news hacks, those NRA lapdogs, feel the same; but that’s okay. It’s okay to have a difference of opinion, but let’s talk. Let’s not name call and badmouth and attack these students; they aren’t Hitler Youth as one Fox News nut said; Emma Gonzalez if not a skinhead lesbian as a GOP politician claimed.

But we’ll talk today about Laure Ingraham, a Fox News pundit, and “Good” Christian, who has an issue with the Parkland students, most notably David Hogg, who has been eloquently vocal in his calls for gun control.

Ingraham took to her own show last week, Fox News’ Ingraham Angle to openly mock 17-year-old David Hogg for getting rejected by four colleges:

Yes, a grown woman who shares a different view on a topic than does Hogg, didn’t discuss their differences, but chose instead to make fun of Hogg for being rejected by four University of California schools. Of note, is that the news came out about his four rejections from David Hogg, himself, but still Ingraham slipped into the much to attack the young man.

In the six weeks since the shooting, Hogg has emerged as a leading student voice for gun control. But, sadly, in _____’s America, when you disagree with the Fat Bastard and his rightwingnut evangelical Christian hypocrite base, you spark a smear campaign that started out small, but has gathered steam thanks to fools like Ingraham who don’t understand how to have an intelligent discussion with people of opposing viewpoints.

And this isn’t the first time Ingraham has mocked David Hogg; the day before he spoke at the March For Our Lives rally, Ingraham mocked him for using profanity in a video interview in which he called politicians who refuse to consider gun control “sick fuckers.”

Um, is that wrong, because that’s exactly how I feel when politicians sit by and watch Americans slaughtered time after time and then just send out a meaningless ‘Thoughts and Prayer’ Tweet.

Too bad Laura Ingraham didn’t understand that the pendulum just might be swinging back toward the middle, if not the left, because David Hogg, after her series of attacks, took to Twitter himself and call for a boycott of her show’s sponsors:

Soon after, at least four of Ingraham's advertisers—Wayfair, Expedia, TripAdvisor and pet food brand Nutrish—announced that they were pulling their commercials from her program.

And then guess what? Laura Ingraham decided then, when money was being taken from her show, and her pocket, that maybe she should apologize:

And Isn’t it lovely that she thought it necessary to mention Holy Week, as though a real Christian would attack a student; Ingraham is one of those fake Christians who trots out her faith whenever she tries to make a point because if she really lived life as a Christian the last thing she’d want to do is attack a young man who watched seventeen of his fellow classmates shot to death.

And David Hogg wasn’t having the apology, either; he noted that it wasn’t enough and only came about when her advertisers began to flee:

"She's only apologizing after a third of her advertisers pulled out. I think it's great that corporate America is standing with me and the rest of my friends, because when you come against any one of us, whether it be me or anybody else, you're coming against all of us. And I think it's important that we stand together as both corporate and civic America to take action against these people and show them that they cannot push us around, especially when all we're trying to do here is save lives."

Look, we can all disagree, though how we can disagree about the need to do something to stop the flow of blood from mass shootings, is beyond me, but, yeah, we can disagree; but let’s talk; let’s communicate; let’s discuss.

Let’s not stoop to the level of a Laura Ingraham and attack high school students because, well, that’s just plain stupid.

PS Laura Ingraham suddenly decided to take a week off, possibly in the hope that her show will stop hemorrhaging cash; too bad she doesn’t care as much about Americans hemorrhaging blood in schools and malls and churches and concerts and …and …and …

The Funny Papers

Nick Anderson, Clay Bennett, Jack Ohman, Steve Sack, David Fitzsimmons, David Horsey, Bill Day, Jim Morin, Drew Sheneman, RJ Matson