The Funny Papers

Gary Huck, Deb Milbrath, David Horsey, Mike Luckovich, Marc Murphy, Bill Branmhall, Muzej karikature , Jack Ohman, RJ Matson, Nick Anderson, Ed Hall, Lalo Alcaraz, Ed Wexler, Michael de Adder

Snarky Thoughts

I like it when rich privileged celebrities get checked, especially at an airport. Take Marlon Wayans, for example, who was set to board a United flight to Kansas City where he was set to perform. Marlon had three bags to carry-on and we all know the limit is one; he was asked to consolidate the three bags to two bags before taking his First-Class seat, and then told one of the bags would be checked. Marlon got pissy, slammed his ticket on the counter and boarded the plane. Security was called and Marlon was removed, and then took to social media to play the Poor Rich Celebrity card; he can’t believe they would treat one of their first-class passengers in such a horrific manner … that’s for Coach. Wayans took to social media to blame United for him missing his KC gig, and then said he was getting a DM from United who would, no doubt, apologize, and fly him to KC on the wings of a dove. Not so fast … Marlon says United did reach out to him but it was only to stand behind their policy.

My Thought: Once again, celebrities, rules should apply to everyone, including mega-star … hold for laughter … Marlon Wayans.

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Well, it looks like the Surprise Divorce between Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgartner is gonna get messy. We know Christine’s filing was a surprise for Kevin, who says he wasn’t sleeping around this time and he did not impregnate anyone on the Yellowstone so the drama is now that, according to the couple’s prenup Christine is supposed to vacate the manse, but she has now decided not to leave.

My Thought: Maybe Christine saw herself living in a much smaller home without the perks of a movie star husband, and is changing her mind? The sudden loss of coins can do that, you know.

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Anita Baker announced last week that legendary record producer Kenneth Babyface Edmonds will no longer be part of her 15-city “Songstress Tour” due to the online harassment she has allegedly faced from his fans. See, it all began with a sound system problem that would have had Anita’s headlining portion of the tour delayed for over an hour so it was decided that Babyface would not go on. And that’s when his fans went after Baker online, so hard, that she deemed it necessary to remove him from the tour; Babyface has complained that it’s unfair because he was a co-headliner.

My Thought: It can’t be a co-headlining tour because it’s called Songstress and last I checked Baker was the one who had an album called The Songstress, and a songstress is a female singer.

My Other Thought: who knew Babyface’s fans could go so hard?

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Real Housewife of Beverly Hills, Erika Jayne says she stopped keeping track of all the men she’s f**ked over the years because she’s too old to remember all of them.

My Thought: I imagine the same can be said of hookers? Look, Erika, have all the sex you want, but to brag that you’ve been done so many times you can’t even recall them, is a pathetic, thirsty move.

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I Didn't Say It

Spencer Cox, Utah’s GOP governor, issuing a proclamation marking June as Pride Month and calling on Utahns to be more welcoming and accepting:

“There should be nothing controversial about supporting a group of people in our state who have historically felt marginalized. We love you; we care about you; Utah is an awesome place… for everyone.”

Cox might be the only GOP governor in the nation to issue such a proclamation but it seems off somehow …

Maybe because he didn’t mention the LGBTQ+ community at all; not once. His previous proclamations on Pride in 2022 and 2021 both mentioned our community … by all the letters … LGBTQ+, but this year not a single letter.

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Sarah Palin, when asked if MAGA is a cult:

“No. You know, the definition of a cult is a group of people who are excessively supporting one another and a cause. [Cults are] all about conformity and compliance and intolerance of anyone who doesn’t agree with what their mission is. Okay? That’s the definition of what the left is engaged in right now, speaking of cults. [They’re] all about conformity and compliance. And heaven forbid you don’t agree with them.”

Seriously, we dodged a massive bullet when John McCain lost his presidential election … because of her.

You can’t fix stupid. You can’t fix Palin.

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John Kelly, former Thing 45 Chief of Staff, on Thing 45’s reaction to another indictment and then turning it into a campaign event:

“He’s scared s—less. This is the way he compensates for that. He gives people the appearance he doesn’t care by doing this. For the first time in his life, it looks like he’s being held accountable. Up until this point in his life, it’s like, I’m not going to pay you, take me to court. He’s never been held accountable before.”

I certainly hope this time he’s held accountable, and the next time in New Jersey, and the time in Georgia, and the time in New York …

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Lindsey Graham, crying about Thing 45 being indicted, clearly worried he won’t have Fat orange ass to kiss for much longer:

“I’m an American who believes that if you believe Hillary Clinton should be prosecuted, you probably should believe that Trump should be prosecuted. If you believe she should get a pass, Trump should get a pass. No, I’m not in a cult. You know, I have taken the president on when I think he’s wrong, but what they’re doing to President Trump is a game changer for the presidency. They’ve taken the law and turned it upside down on numerous occasions to get him. You don’t have to be in a cult to find this offensive. Let the people decide whether Donald Trump should be president. Quit trying to destroy his life through a bunch of bogus legal cases in Manhattan, now in Miami, and eventually in Atlanta.”

Lindsey’s whataboutism is the classic case of what’s wrong with the GOP; deflection and lack of accountability. He’d be best served to remember that the FBI investigated Hilary for over a year and found that her server did not contain any information or emails that were clearly marked classified.

Now, if you think the FBI is corrupt and the DOJ is corrupt, go after that, but to let a criminal off because you don’t like how an earlier case ended is fucking stupid.

Just like Miss Lindsey.

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Jackie Goldberg, president of the LA Unified School Board, calling out the “BS” from anti-LGBTQ protestors in California and reading from a children’s book titled The Great Big Book of Families:

“I’ve been confronting this issue my entire life I have been threatened. I have been harassed. I have been denied jobs because of who I am and who I love. At the little discussion at the school after [reading the book], as soon as the book was over, one little girl sitting at my knees said, ‘I have two mommies.’ A little boy on my other side said: ‘I have five grandmas’. What do you think [the protests] did to them?!” It made them afraid! How dare you make them afraid because you are! I’m sorry, I told you this was personal. Nobody has to accept me. I’m not looking for your acceptance, but you better treat me the same way you treat everybody else. That’s how we live in this country. “You don’t have to love me. You don’t have to like me, you can think I’m the devil incarnate. But you treat me like a decent human being because that’s how I treat you even though you don’t believe I have the right to exist.”

She continued: Her son was once harassed for having two mommies and said that the fact that her grandchildren aren’t is a sign of progress.

But there’s room for a lot more.

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Bobservations

The other day Carlos said the most terrifying thing to me:

“I was reading one of my Science Alert emails and—”

It’s at that point that I panic and start thinking if there’s enough time for me to unbraid one of the braided kitchen rugs and fashion it into a noose and kill myself before the Science Alert continues, but alas, I am wrong.

“They’re saying now that Splenda had an adverse effect on DNA, so you shouldn’t use it.”

“I don’t use Splenda. We have raw sugar or agave in the hou—”

“Well, it’s also in soda.”

“I don’t drink soda.”

“You shouldn’t because it’s bad for you—”

“I don’t.”

“It’s bad for you.”

And now I think I need a Macrame Alert email on noose making.

This week’s Tuxedo is from March 2020, and the new toy I bought him and then instantly felt kinda guilty:

“Tell Me ….  am I a bad parent because I gave my cat a leopard pillow?

To be fair, he only used it to rest his head; he didn’t try murdering one of his own species.

This is model and social media influencer Daniel Rumfelt and he’s offering cakes. Who is up for it?

I know the MAGATS will just love this, until they read all the way through. Oh I kid, I mean until they have someone read it for them.

It seems America’s top-selling beer is no longer Bud Light after MAGAts saw transgender influencer Dylan Mulvaney’s Instagram post showing off a customized Bud Light can and they assumed Bud Light makes you trans or something.

But, while they may celebrate the toppling of Bud Light, America’s new best-selling beer is from … Mexico. It’s Modelo Especial, the Mexican lager brewed near Mexico City by Constellation Brands.

Now they will have to find a way to boycott Modelo because, you know, immigrants.

I was watching The Tonys this past Sunday because, well, gay, and laughed when actor Denée Benton came for Ron DeSantis. Benton was saluting the 2023 recipient of the excellence in theater education award, Jason Zembuch Young of South Plantation High School in Plantation, Florida, and she said:

“I’m certain that the current grand wizard—I’m sorry, excuse me, governor of my home state of Florida …”

And the crowd roared.

Of Note: This past week a group of Nazis has been stationed outside Disney World flying their Swastika flags and DeSantis for President flags.

MAGAts tine heads are exploding again this week because Cracker Barrel has come out for Diversity, Equity, Inclusion & Belonging:

“We have a responsibility to live up to our mission of Pleasing People each day, ensuring that every member of our team and every guest feels at home, feels cared for like family, and feels like they belong … Our teams work hard to create a culture of hospitality that’s welcoming, respectful and inclusive to everyone who walks through our doors ... Discrimination, overt or through unconscious bias, has no place at Cracker Barrel Old Country Store.”

That’s right, while Target caves to anti-LGBTQ+ hate, Cracker Fucking Barrel has stepped up for our community.

Also during The Tony’s, Michael Arden won for directing the revival of Parade and during his speech he reclaimed a gay slur when he said:

“Growing up, I was called the f-word more times than I could remember and all I can say now is I’m a faggot with a Tony!”

And the crowd roared again, even though CBS bleeped the word during the broadcast.

Plus: Broadway stars Alex Newell,  left, and J Harrison Ghee, right, have made LGBTQ+ history as the first openly non-binary Tony Award winners. Newell won for Featured Actor in a Musical for their role as Lulu in “Shucked,” while Ghee won Leading Actor in a Musical for their role as Jerry/Daphne in the revival of “Some Like It Hot.”

The Tony’s; so fabulously gay!

Jonathan Stuart Bailey is an English actor, singer and out gay man, who will be co-starring with My-Husband-In-My-Head, Matt Bomer, in Showtime’s Fellow Travelers where they play lovers. But this really isn’t about that, it’s: Would You Hit It?

Architecture Wednesday: Japanese-Inspired Midcentury

This home was built in the 1950s and then remodeled and expanded in 1964 by the owner and, Hal Theiderman, into a Japanese-inspired, Midcentury modern style with floor-to-ceiling windows and indoor/outdoor flow to beautiful gardens that surround the home.

The two-bedroom, three-bathroom, 2,240 square foot home is infused with a sense of artistry and calm and an appreciation of space and beauty mostly due to its lot at the end of peaceful Lake Drive overlooking Wildcat Canyon and Tilden Park.

You enter the home across a series of spherical stone pavers evoking the crossing of a river on lily pad; a Japanese maple grows up through the roof. As you enter through the gold painted door, you will notice many lovely details such as the jewel box kitchen, sliding wall panels, and the vintage clay lanterns that hang at the entry.

A balcony opens from the living room overlooking the lower garden, filled with rhododendrons, camelias, and ferns, and the canyon below. There is a tranquil reading room which opens to the front garden, and a formal dining room with built-in China cabinets and sliding doors out to a large roof deck.
The living room features wood paneled walls, a raised ceiling, a modernist brick fireplace, built-in bookshelves and clerestory windows above the main seating area. There was originally an observatory tower for gazing at the night sky and although the dome is no longer there and the tower is roofed, you can still climb the spiral stairs hidden behind a door from the dining room up to the viewing space.

Down the main spiral staircase you’ll find the marvelous principal bedroom with its own fireplace, a wall of windows opening to the garden, and a serene wood-paneled bathroom with theater-style vanity lights. At the opposite end of the room there is a large office space with a built-in desk; the office is separated by sliding wall panels. The secondary bedroom, with its own bath and built-in bookshelves also opens into the rear garden and courtyard.

Quibbles? Of course; the bathrooms are dated, as are some of the finishes, and the kitchen is too small and closed off. Plus, I’d open up that observation spot again and spend my evenings up there sipping a nice Pinto, but other than that it is all sorts or tranquil, both inside and out.

 Dwell