PR15 Eps 8 & 9: It's a Two-fer!

PR15 Ep 8: Pop Up Goes The Weasels

Okay, a quick recap since I was outta town last week ... in another Team Challenge the designtestants will have one day and $600 to create a cohesive three look Fall Collection inspired by a color palette: Red, Blue, and Neutral. Their designs will be modeled in a pop-up window display where the public will vote on which looks they like best; the mini-collection with the most votes gets a 20% boost to their overall judging.

TEAM NEUTRAL

Jenni, Nathalia, Mah-Jing

Mah-Jing once again worries that he’s paired with friends who will drive a bus over him if they lose, but, luckily, the public gives them the most votes.

Sadly, just like Hillary Clinton, the popular vote doesn’t matter and the Electoral Fashion College of Heidi, Zac, Nina and guest judge Kelly Osbourne declare the Blue Team the victors.

TEAM RED

Dexter, Erin, Cornelius

Trainwreck! Chip’n’Dale, er’ Erin’n’Dexter love each so much that they refuse to listen to Cornelius who suggests they avoid an all-red color palette.

Well, that is until Tim comes in and suggests they avoid an all-red color palette which is too late because, yes, all they bought was red. Tim then suggests they break up their looks and Cornelius suggests moving his plaid skirt—paired with a plaid jacket—to yet another one of Erin’s coats. But, since Erin never made a skirt for her look, Cornelius scrambles to create a new skirt for his design while Erin’n’Dexter yuck it up on a couch somewhere.

The judges don’t exactly hate their collection, but they hate the all-red from hair to clothes to socks—all Dexter’s ideas. And when the time comes to decide which loser will go home, Erin’n’Dexter naturally hurl Cornelius under the bus, even though his ideas would have saved them and had he not given Erin his skirt her model would have been waist-down-nekkid.

TEAM BLUE

Roberi, Rik, Laurence

I kinda knew this would be the winning team ... oops, Spoiler Alert ... because these three are the most calm, the least drama, in the entire room. But Tim was less sure when he came by; he worried there was going to be over-designed looks in blue and wasn’t happy about that.

The judges were very sure, however, that the Blue Team was the winner, though they disagreed on who would take the top spot. The Blue Team made pieces that could be interchangeable with any of the other looks—smart—and they didn’t go just blue, but blue patterns and fabrics, with blacks and whites thrown in for a difference.

Well, as expected, Cornelius was sent packing; I wasn’t happy about that because of the Mean Girl Team of ChipErin’n’DaleDexter.

On the blue side, it came down to Roberi and Rik, and, well, Roberi pulled it off.

In the backstage room, Cornelius and Dexter traded barbs about Dexter being a bitch and it looked to get ugly until Mah-Jing literally sat between the two; but the ugliness may rise again, because Tim came in and said it was unfair to send Cornelius home when he worked so hard and did so much for his team, and the Tim Gunn Save was employed, giving us Cornelius for at least one more week.

Gregory Patterson, who gave the designers the challenge alongside Tim, is just so freaking cute I cannot stand it. Just sayin’.

I’m glad Tim saved Cornelius—even though I don’t really care much for him or his designs—because no one should be the workhorse for two divas, doing a great deal of their work while they eat bon-bons and chat, and then be Auf’d because the Mean Girls are besties.

Erin and Dexter are slowly losing their appeal and their talent to get to The Tents. Rik is in it, and Roberi’s moving up. Laurence needs to stop with the leather jackets every single week, no matter how good they look, or she’ll be in the audience at The Tents. As for Nathalia, Mah-Jing and Jenni? Well, thanks for playing ....

What did YOU think?

PR15, Ep 9: Second Chances

Okay, this is the week of the tears, both in the workroom and on the runway and it’s clear that Mah-Jing is the Biggest Crier in PR History!

But I’m getting ahead of myself ... Tim and Barbara Shipley, Senior Vice President of Brand Integration at AARP, tell the designtestants that this challenge is about women facing changes in their lives and then surprise the designers by bringing their loved ones into the room where the tears flow ... though from Mah-Jing they flood.

The challenge this week will be to take $250 and two days to create new looks for their loved ones’ next chapter. Plus .... big plus ... huge ... the winning designer wins $25,000 from AARP and the winning designer’s loved one also gets twenty-five G’s.

So, the designtestants and their friends and family client share a lunch and talk ideas and designs, and then it’s off to Mood for fabrics and back to the workroom ....

Let’s rip ...

THE SAFES

left to right

CORNELIUS uses a  rope print and yellow leather insets to make a very cool modern suit for his mother. It’s classy, but edgy and fun and modern.

DEXTER creates a knit dress with boning in it and balloon sleeves for his best friend, and then, as Tim called it, Dexterizes the look with buttons and studs. It’s oddly shaped and top heavy.

LAURENCE is reunited with her very tall daughter and makes a leather jacket, top and skirt ... it’s a well-made yawn and nothing new.

THE BOTTOMS

JENNI 

She has issues because her mother has several ideas, all very different, and then suggests Jenni do whatever she wants.

Cue ominous drumming. Jenni goes sporty with a dark gray sweater with her added popcorn details, worn over a too-short white shirt and atop a pair of green and white abstract pants.

Um, Jenni, wasn’t it just a couple of weeks ago you lamented about Brik’s bad fabric choices and mixing of patterns? It was and when Tim worried about Brik’s choices, he did the same this week with Jenni calling the whole look confusing. And soon to be ill-fitting because Jenni moans that her dress form isn’t the same size as her mother and so she cannot check the size of the pants and they turn out too big and ... and ... and ...

Cue ominous drumming.

WHAT SHE SAID

This look is embodying what I wanted to create for her.

WHAT I SAID

If you wanted her to look short and dumpy ... success!

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Heidi called it the worst; she called it sloppy; she said it lacked sophistication; she threw her shoe at Jenni. Zac called the shirt frumpy and said the look wasn’t at all powerful. Nina said there was no seriousness and that it looked like clothes for a young girl. Guest Judge Katia Beauchamp said that while there was some interest to it, the fit was awful.

ERIN 

This one talks a great game; she tells a great story but the design doesn’t really match up. She used the idea of a caterpillar metamorphosing into a butterfly for creating another voluminous jacket in a puke gray color, worn over yet another lace dress with a light blue fabric backing.

Tim is no fan of the blue or the lace, but tells Erin outright that the jacket is very close to many things she’s done this season. But Erin doesn’t listen because Erin knows it all. Soon she may have to know how to get to the airport and go home, I think ... in a giant coat.

WHAT SHE SAID

I think she looks really amazing.

WHAT I SAID

Another bulky coat with patch pockets and another lace dress, though this time they are both awful.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina said the coat was too minimal and the dress was too girly—mismatch! She added that none of it worked and there were too many messages. Zac said it more cleanly: it was a winter coat worn over a summer dress. Heidi liked the blue, but not the coat or the lace; she said the look didn’t suit Erin’s mother. Fashion expert—is that a real thing?—Olivia Culpo noted the bad hem on the dress and the bad sewing in the lace to the dress; she said the proportions were bad and the story doesn’t work.

NATHALIA 

She wants to create a traveling outfit for her mother; separates, including a big coat—seriously, it’s the Year of the Big Coat—worn over a blousy top and wide legged pants.

That’s a whole lotta fabric, Nat! Tim worries the leather is too hard and that the jacket will have to be perfect to work. Sadly, Nathalia doesn’t listen to him either and when she tries on the jacket, it’s enormous on her, and will be huge on Mom.

In an effort to fix the flaws Nathalia runs out of time and sticks pins in the hem ... and perhaps pins into the voodoo doll of her career as a designer.

WHAT SHE SAID

The jacket looks oversized ... I’m nervous.

WHAT I SAID

It looks like her mother has recently lost two-hundred pounds but is still wearing her old clothes.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina said it was a good idea filled with bad proportions and too much fabric; plus the tailoring was awful. Zac called out some of the pins—Nathalia said they were left by mistake... liar liar—while Olivia Culpo said it was too billowy on top, too wide on the bottom and hidden by a too big coat. Katia Beauchamp said it was unacceptable not to have a finished look, while Heidi noticed even more pins in the look; she said the look swallowed Nathalia’s mother and was too hard and looked very cheap.

THE TOPS

RIK 

Rik wants to make a suit for his mother who is in school to get her Bachelor’s Degree, so he goes for a simple black dress that he embellishes with a heart—which could have been too cutesy—and seam lines reminiscent of a Mariachi outfit; he also made a modern take on a checkered black-and-white jacket with red accents.

Rik is pleased; Mom is pleased; Tim is very pleased. Rik, and yes I’m saying it again, is just adorable and so sweet about his mother; he even says if they win he’ll give her his $25,000 for all she’s done to help him with his career.

WHAT HE SAID

She’s full of energy ... working that runway!

WHAT I SAID

I like the little details—even the heart—but it does seem kind of simple.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Olivia loves the heart and the coat, while Nina called it great work, and loved the proportions and the fact that it was perfect and dignified for Rik’s mother,. Zac loved the modern edgy coat and the treatment of the red details in that coat, while Katia called it classy and smart. Heidi finished it off by saying it was a real designer dress and looked very expensive.

ROBERI

His client is his best friend, who is a graphic designer living in Panama, and he wants to create a very graphic dress for her. He is also mixing patterns, though doing a much better job than some others ::: cough cough ::: Jenni.

Tim does worry that it might be a tad overdesigned, but Roberi has a vision and, again, unlike Jenni and Erin, he listened to Mr. Gunn.

WHAT HE SAID

I love my look ... it’s magical.

WHAT I SAID

At first glance it seemed a bit big and odd, but I loved his use of the pink piping and the color of the skirt.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Olivia loved it and called it sweet and perfectly fitted to the client. Zac loved the mix of textiles and the colors that pop and the pink piping, while Katia called Roberi very talented and a great designer. Heidi called it a perfect dress and loved all the details while Nina loved the neckline and the sophisticated silhouette.

MAH-JING 

He will be designing for his mother, whom he apparently does not see all that often; but she’s a hip-hop DJ ready to start her own music label so he wants to create, and cry, a kind of warrior kimono outfit for her.

Tim loves the idea and Mah-Jing’s mother, but worries that it might be too much work even for two days.

WHAT HE SAID

It’s strong ... it’s confident.

WHAT I SAID

I’m guessing that mom was trying a mood for the look because she seems angry and defiant and tough and powerful, just like the look.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina called the look badass, a wow, and powerful, while Heidi dubbed it cool and confident. Katia said the whole look was on point and Zac also noted the forcefulness and the power of the piece, saying it was high fashion. Olivia noted that Mah-Jing’s mother had swag ... but I think she’d have swag in a housecoat and slippers.

It seemed for a moment the judges were gonna swing toward Roberi, but in the end Rik ... so adorable ... got the $25,000 ... and mama did, too.

As for the Aufee, it boiled down to Jenni’s horrid looking sportswear mess and Nathalia’s gigantic travel balloon of a dress. And, as we learned a couple of weeks back, the bad mixing of patterns is the ticket home.

Goodbye Jenni.

A fashion and beauty expert is a judge? What exactly are the credentials involved to be that expert, Olivia Culpo? And, well, it was an outright plug to Lifetime’s new show, Project Runway: Fashion Startup, to have another of their judges, Katia Beauchamp.

I again loved Tim telling Cornelius, and the workroom, that he was saved because someone else should have gone home ... DextErin? Tim's funny!

And Mah-Jing; I have never seen a straight man cry so much! Happy? Tears! Sad? Tears! Angry? Tears! Hungry? Tears and a sammich.

I am so over Dexter and Erin’s attitudes that they are all that. Erin has now been in the bottom more than she’s been in the top and yet she still thinks she’s the Madonna of the workroom; bitch please, even Madonna is over. And Dexter? No, gurl, you are not so Zen and happy; you play nasty and mean and you are less in the top than you are in the middle. You both best be careful or no Tents for you! Or Laurence because, yes, leather jacket. God, if this was only Project Runway: Leather jacket ....

Rik will be at The Tents and possibly Roberi. Mah-Jing stepped it up, but it may be a one week thing. Nathalia seems next to go, unless her BFF Cornelius beats her to the door. So, yeah, The Tents, Rik, Roberi, Erin and/or Dexter; two great designers and two Mean Girls with bigger heads than designs.

What did YOU think?

It Really Was Just Twenty Minutes

I really love my Dad, and somewhat more importantly, I really like my Dad, so I was very happy to be able to head out west to help him before and after his knee replacement surgery.

That said, I did go all Seinfeld with Carlos about how long I’d be gone ...

“Look, subtract the travel time to and from, the sleeping time, the time he’s in the hospital, the driving time around Toledo, Oregon, and I’ll be gone, what, about twenty minutes or so.”

I don’t like being away from home—I’m a nester—for too long and I really don’t like being without Carlos because I’m a very needy queen or, and this is more likely, I truly love that man and need to see him every day, always.

Still, I left; usually we fly into Portland and then drive the three-plus hours south and to the west to my Dad’s house, but this time I checked into flying into Eugene, which cuts the drive time to Dad’s to about ninety minutes. The price seemed comparable so I thought I’d go the Eugene route, except ...

Columbia is not a major airport—there are literally twelve gates—and Eugene is even smaller, so any kind of direct flight is out. I flew from Columbia to DC, and then from DC to San Francisco, and from San Francisco to Eugene. It would be a long travel day—about twelve hours with plane changes and such—but it still seemed like less of a hassle than heading to Portland until ...

The flight to DC was smooth; I had a row to myself so I didn’t have that stupid airplane chatter—Where you going—to contend with; then came DC. The airport there, we landed at Dulles, is a nightmare. I headed up two escalators to a third level and then down an escalator to a second level, across a bridge into a tunnel onto a train just to get to my gate; that seemed longer than the flight ... I am that impatient.

At the gate there was a huge crowd and I thought, “Crowded Plane.” I hate crowded planes ... airplane chatter. God! And then the pilot appeared and introduced himself and told us we would have  a smooth ride cross country ... why did he say that?

Onboard the plane we sat and sat and sat until Friendly Pilot announced that we couldn’t leave because one of the Non Smoking lights was on and they needed to figure out why; that took an hour. No, I understand you don’t want mechanical problems when you’re 35,000 feet up but, because we stayed in DC an extra hour, you guessed it, I missed my flight from San Francisco to Eugene.

I was calm, but ready to rage at the United official I spoke to, but she was so nice and so calming, telling me that the next flight to Eugene would be at 7:30 ... AM ... the next day! But they put me up in a hotel and gave me meal vouchers to use to get something to eat, gave me a seat upgrade and told me I would forever and ever be Pre-Approved at the TSA; yup, no more shoes off, or toiletries out, or removing rings and wallets and belts and such for me.

So it was kind of a win. Plus, since we left in the morning, and it was one of those rare San Francisco fog-free mornings, I had the most spectacularly views of my old stomping grounds ... The City. The wide swath of green that is Golden Gate Park, the Golden Gate Bridge, the Presidio, the Bay Bridge, Giant’s stadium ... if only I’d taken my phone or camera from my bag ...

We arrived safely in Eugene and then it was short drive to Toledo and my Dad’s house. He was ready for surgery, had everything planned and all my instructions and we chatted and joked and then went to sleep because we had to be at the hospital at 6:30 AM where we were told his surgery would be about 2-3 hours and an hour in recovery. That seemed short to me; I mean, cutting open the leg, snapping out the old knee, putting in the Belgian upgrade and attaching it and then closing everything up in two or three hours?

Nope; it was about eight hours and me, with my overactive imagination instantly began fearing the worst. At the three hour mark I checked the board in the waiting room—patients are assigned numbers and you can track their progress by their number on the board—and Dad was still in surgery. Four hours, still in surgery; six hours ... seven hours .... eight hours.

My Dad was dead and they were afraid to come tell me; yes, that’s where my mind went. Luckily, the man at the desk in the waiting room was a calming influence, or else that slap he gave me settled me down, but finally my Dad was out of surgery and in recovery and then into his room.

At a little after 5 PM I was able to go in and see him and he was woozy, of course, but awake and alert and seemingly fine. Then he threw up; luckily a nurse’s assistant was in the room with a handy barf bag and I was able to suppress my own urge to vomit ... I am a Sympathy Puker.

Dad seemed to get better and then he started vomiting again but this time I was in the room alone ...

Side story: years back I had moved into a new apartment ... I was probably twenty ... and had a Housewarming Party. One of my friends had too much to drink and was very clearly about to hurl. Someone said, “Bob, Stacie’s going to hurl, you better do something,” so I did. I took her to the front door and put her outside. I cannot be near the vomit.

... so I went to the nurse’s station and told them my Dad was getting sick again and they all looked at me like I was a loon and one said she’d be right in ... except she sat there. So, I went all Shirley MacLaine Term’s of Endearment Debra Winger is dying on their asses ... or at least a more subdued version ... and said, again, “My Dad’s throwing up, can someone please come help him.”

And they did, and he was fine, and he was doing very very well. That same night he was able to bend the New Knee and the next day he was able to take fifteen steps with it, using a walker; his doctor was very impressed, his physical therapist, too.

Still, he stayed in the hospital for  four days and was released on Saturday. He came home and his German Shepherd, Foxy, was thrilled to see him—she’d been giving me the Who-Are-You-Stink-Eye for four days—and that was my Dad’s best medicine.

He saw a physical therapist for a home visit on Monday and was again doing much better than people expected, and we planned out all his trips to the doctor’s and therapy and things he needed for the next couple of weeks.

My brother arrived Monday night to take over as Home Health Aide and the next day my twenty minute stay at my Dad’s was over and I was back in Eugene and ready to head home.

Eugene to San Francisco; short flight, row to myself, no airplane chatter. San Francesco to DC, long flight, row to myself, sleeping to avoid any airplane chatter. Then came Dulles ...

As I said yesterday, I got off the plane Wednesday morning and was hoping to see Madam President signs everywhere and instead saw President-elect_____. I was sickened ... see that post HERE.

I went up three escalators and down two, across a bridge and through a tunnel and onto a train and up three escalators and down four until I came to my gate where I could hear _____ speaking on TV. I fled to a cafe for some yogurt and granola and orange juice and then boarded my last flight ....

It was one of those tiny planes; the ones where a person over five-feet-eleven cannot stand up in the aisle, so being six-foot-two, I was a stoop-shouldered ogre headed to my seat in a full to the rafters flight. Narrow aisles, narrow seats, no leg room and then ... the pilot tells us the navigation system isn’t working so they shut off all the power to the plane for a few moments and see if they can reboot it; they did use an outside power source to keep the cabin lights on but it as a full plane, small plane, no air ... I had my very first, and hope, very last, panic attack. It was hot and crowed and there was no air and I couldn’t breathe and ____ was elected president; I was about ten seconds from getting out of my seat and running to the front of the plane and screaming to be let off and then the plane backed up ... oh, not to leave, mind you, but to see if maybe the navigational system issues could be fixed away from the gate .. so we sat on the tarmac with no air and me screaming on the inside until I heard my Dad’s voice saying Count it down.

So I counted  1...2...3...4...5...4...3...2...1.. and so on.

Seriously, that calmed me down because it kept my mind from racing toward the front of the cabin, throwing open the door and hurling myself out of the plane.

Then we moved back to the gate and were told to go inside and wait until, they could get another plane, which they did, and it was fine, though still small and crowded. But this one worked and we flew home, albeit it three hours later than scheduled.

Like I Seinfeld’d it at the beginning, it really was just a twenty minute trip out to Oregon and back, though the flights seemed to drag on for twelve days.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it ... thanks for listening.

My Two Cents: President _____

Yes, I'm back from the Left Coast and I will post about that but, well, first things first ...

So ... President _____.

I cannot say that; I cannot type that. Maybe I’m a baby or maybe I’m a sore loser or maybe I’m afraid ... or maybe it sounds like a new reality show that won’t be very good and nobody wins except the bigots and the white man.

I was traveling on Election Day, taking the red-eye from San Francisco to DC. I was glad about that because I was too nervous to watch the election results; I mean, I was very sure Mrs. Clinton would win, but still ...

When I got off the plane in DC I expected to see the newsstands filled with papers declaring “Madam President” but I didn’t see one; I did hear _____ speak and I read the chiron at the bottom of the TV screen: President-elect _____.

My heart dropped; my stomach jolted; my head hurt.

How did this happen? How did a man who has spoken so heinously about Mexicans and Muslims and women become president? How could we elect a man who says he wants to bring back jobs to America but sends his own company’s jobs overseas? How could we elect a man who received five deferments to get out of military service but says he knows more about ISIS that anyone, including our own military leaders? How could we elect a billionaire—or so he says—who vows to help the working class when his entire business life has only been about making  himself more money and avoiding paying taxes?

How did Hate win?

And how did it happen ... again ... that the winner of the popular vote, the person that more Americans than not wanted to be president is not the president? As of Wednesday morning, Mrs. Clinton had a lead, albeit a narrow one, in the popular vote. She had 59,415,609 votes to _____’s 59,231,829. Sure, it’s a thin difference especially considering the 120 million votes cast but maybe that will change when all the absentee votes are counted. And so if Mrs. Clinton keeps that lead she will be the first presidential candidate since Al Gore in 2000 to win the popular vote but lose the election.

How ...

Well, you independents who said the choices form the two major parties were both so awful that you voted third party did this. A vote away from Mrs. Clinton was a vote for _____. You did this.Oh, and those of you who stayed home don’t look so shocked, because you’re even more to blame. You sat on your asses and whined about her being untrustworthy and him being a vile disgusting pig of a man and how you couldn’t make a choice, and so you didn’t vote ... and that was a vote for ____. So, if anyone within the sound of my voice ever walks up to me and says “I didn’t vote,” be ready for the onslaught of my wrath because, and I will say it again:

You.Did.This.

And so where do we go from here? I have a few ideas ...

Demand change. Mobilize. Speak up. And most importantly ... vote, in every election from dog-catcher to president. Vote out any and all Democrats who are not doing the job to which we elected them to in the first place. Vote out all Republicans ... Out!

Demand that the media ask questions and demand answers! How does a Donald _____ get away with being elected president with a slew of ideas ... walls, trade, bringing jobs back to this country ... without one single definitive plan and yet no one in the media asked him about it? They were just too busy wringing their hands in glee and watching the dollars pour in from the Media Circus. Demand that the media do its job.

Demand the end of the Electoral College; sure, that'll be hard because the GOP will never go for it since it's worked in their favor twice, but try it. Demand it. Remind people, every day, that, yes, Hillary Clinton won the popular vote. She is the person more Americans wanted to be our leader.

Demand that President ____ represent all of us. Demand that. And if he does not, if he continues as he has said all along that he wants to deport all immigrants, and turn away refugees, turn back the clock on Roe v Wade, overturn marriage equality and refuse to admit that there’s such a thing as climate change and use his office as a means to bully those he loathes and punish those who didn’t support him, demand that he stop.

And how do you demand? You speak up, you say something, and every single Election Day you walk into a voting booth and you motherfucking vote.

VOTE.

And before I get myself any more riled up, though I will stay riled up and angry and sickened by this election, let’s hear from Mrs. Clinton, in her speech after the results:

“I know how disappointed you feel, because I feel it too. And so do tens of millions of Americans who invested their hopes and dreams in this effort. This is painful, and it will be for a long time. But I want you to remember this.

Our campaign was never about one person, or even one election. It was about the country we love and building an America that is hopeful, inclusive, and big-hearted. We have seen that our nation is more deeply divided than we thought. But I still believe in America, and I always will. And if you do, then we must accept this result and then look to the future. Donald _____ is going to be our president. We owe him an open mind and the chance to lead. Our constitutional democracy enshrines the peaceful transfer of power.

We don’t just respect that. We cherish it. It also enshrines the rule of law; the principle we are all equal in rights and dignity; freedom of worship and expression. We respect and cherish these values, too, and we must defend them.”

We were so close to having that kind of wisdom and honor and respect and inclusiveness in the White House and we missed it and we blew it.

But we can make the change; four years isn’t too long—if he lasts four years—and we can get him out then.

Demand it. Vote it.

Until then ... Peace.