Sunday Funnies

I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Since last week, and the weekend, were all about Oscar, and Lindsay Lohan will probably never attend, much less win one, she had her own dramas to create.

I didn’t know that Lohan sued rapper Pitbull in 2011, because one of his, um, songs—‘Give Me Everything’—contained the line: “Hustlers move aside, so I’m tiptoein’, to keep flowin’/I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan.” 

Yeah, that made her bad because, well, the truth hurts, and so she sued. She thought he might throw some money at her—or at least leave it on the nightstand—like the folks at e*Trade did when she sued them, but Pitbull wasn’t playing. He even invited her to be his date to the VMAs, and kept fighting her in court.

Lohan claims Pitbull never got permission to use her name, and so he owes her big money because she needs big money, but last week a New York federal judge sided with Pitbull, saying the song is a work of art protected by the 1st Amendment and noting that Lindsay’s barely even mentioned.

Like her career, it’s almost nonexistent.

Well, The Mole and her husband of fourteen years are ALLEGEDLY over. See, rumor has it that Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber are divorcing and that Cindy has gone all Demi Moore of late, ALLEGEDLY getting drunk and acting like a fool at a recent swanky hotel event, by telling anyone and everyone, “My marriage is over!”

And she continues Demi-ing, by ALLEGEDLY draping her drunken body all over twenty-something Terraplane Sun guitarist, Johnny Zambetti. And then it got worse. According to fellow partiers, Cindy went dirty dancing with Brody Jenner in a vain attempt to get back at Rande for cheating on her over the course of their marriage. Worse of all, is that her husband was right there, at the party, while she drunkenly played the part of aging model on a bender.

Crawford’s people, while acknowledging that Cindy and Rande were at that party, say the couple is still “very happily married,” but Lyle Riddle, Terraplane Sun’s drummer, tells a different story. According to him, Cindy “was drinking wine, beer and cocktails, and she seemed very intoxicated.”

Not exactly model behavior. Or even Mom behavior.

Now, for more desperate Lindsay.

See, because she gets no work, and because she has no money, and because the IRS is still after her, the National Enquirer—I know, but they were right about the John Edwards affair—says Lindsay has taken to drunk dialing her former friends and asking for a handout.

A source—and you know it’s Dina, whose house is nearing foreclosure and could use some Lohan help—says, “Her legal bills alone could buy a small country, and no one is safe. Wilmer Valderrama, Samantha Ronson, Stavros Niarchos and Jared Leto have all been targeted by Lindsay. She’s also calling in favors from Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Nicole Richie and others. Problem is, she smells of desperation and almost everyone is running.”

I thought she smelled of booze and ciggies.

Most of her old ‘friends’ have blocked Lohan Calls, but, along with drug-addled Charlie Sheen, rumor has it that her old pal Ashton Kutcher is also giving support; along with three Middle Eastern “sugar daddies” who pay for her to come to their, um, parties.

And still she doesn’t have enough money to move out of Dina’s house, to pay for a dress to wear—and then cut up—and to foot her own tab at every club in Manhattan.

She must be a really bad hooker.

Let's say, for arguments sake, you’re one of the :::cough cough:::: hottest actresses in Hollywood, and one of the highest paid, too, so let’s say you’re invited to the Oscars.

Wouldn’t you at least wash your hair? Maybe run a comb through it? And even if you didn’t, would you sit in the audience and slouch and pout all night?

You would if you were Kristen Kasting Kouch Stewart.

Just sayin’.

So, before we had Lohan, we had TV’s version of Lohan, Mischa Barton. She was on something called The OC and said to be the newest It Girl, but then she vanished into bad parts, crazy behavior, and ugly clothes. And now, like her counterpart, Baron is also unable to pay her debts and owes some $90,000 to “a team of sober coaches.”

Wait, what? Does she play professional sports? I may be off on this, but is there a team called the Sober and they have Coaches? Oh….wait. It’s a different kind of coaching.

See, back in 2011, Mischa was ordered to pay Doctors’ Choice Nursing [DCN] $95,000 for unspecified services rendered in 2009, but she failed to appear in court—probably because she was appearing under a dumpster somewhere—which  is why a default judgment was entered against her.

Well, the nature of the, um,  “services” has been a bit of a mystery, but now we know, from the owner of DCN that the 95K was the fees charged by a team of nurses whose sole job was to keep Mischa Barton sober, though the nature of her substance of choice is still unknown.

Barton’s lawyer wants to know why DCN hadn’t notified Mischa of the mounting bill if the actress was the one responsible for paying it, and the owner replied that she didn’t want the stress of the mounting bill to exacerbate Mischa’s sobriety problems. Like, you know, you owe me money for keeping you sober will send Mischa on a bender.

Barton’s lawyer contends it was the actress’ mother who hired the nurses and therefore ran up the bills — so Mischa shouldn’t have to pay.  Wait, so the person with the abuse issues, who needed a team of nurses to keep her from using whatever it was she was using, doesn’t have to pay those nurses, because she didn’t ask for their help.

That isn’t one of the Twelve Steps.

More Lohan, because, you know, she needs to one-up the Oscar coverage.

It appears that Lindsay’s former assistant, Gavin Doyle, who used to take the rap for all of Lindsay’s misdeeds, will be called to testify against her in the case of last year’s Pacific Coast highway crash where Lindsay lied to police about who was driving her car.

She said Doyle was driving, while others say she was behind the wheel.

And now, Doyle has changed his story, ALLEGEDLY, and is willing to say that Lohan was driving that day. See, they’ve had a falling out because the day after Lindsay was arrested for beating up the psychic in a bar, Doyle came to pick her up at the police station and she kicked him out of her car.

And he took to Twitter:

@lindsaylohan after bailing you out last night I HOPE and PRAY you are getting the help you so desperately need. We are ALL rooting for you. xxx

And now he’ll be testifying against her.

So, what have we learned: do not get into a car with Lindsay Lohan. EVER!

So, Madonna, even with her new face, is still all about the Kabbalah; and she’s a member alongside the likes of Ashton Kutcher, and his former wife Granny Kutcher, AKA Demi Moore. But, since the break-up. Madonna has been granted custody of Ashton’s friendship, leaving Granny Moore out in the cold.

See, she’s not going to associate with the older party who has the penchant for dancing on tables and dating wildly inappropriate younger men because, well, you know how Madonna feels about over-the-top behavior and dating children.

So, Madonna invited Ashton, but not Demi, to her annual Oscar party, which, a few years back was a co-hosting gig between the two women. A source—and it’s probably one of Demi’s three ungrateful children—says, “Madonna is firmly on the side of Ashton. She adores him and thinks that out of him and Demi he’s the one with the glittering career. Also, Madonna loves having Ashton around as he’s great eye candy, he’s funny and he flirts outrageously with her — In Madonna’s eyes, there’s no competition – when it comes to picking sides Ashton is the obvious winner!”

And Demi’s absence at the party was the stuff of gossip. “When Ashton walked in it got the crowd buzzing!” The source says. “Madonna’s never spoken about the split, but it’s obvious she’s sided with him over Demi. It was kind of shocking as Demi has even hosted the party with Madonna in the past, so it’s even more of a mega snub! Madonna clearly loves Ashton though, they were dancing together a lot throughout the night and flirting up a storm!”

Well, that sounds like Madonna. The only person at her parties to be dancing on tables and dating boys young enough to be their sons, is Madonna herself.

Color me shocked.

I kid.

Lindsay Lohan has just been hit with yet another tax lien. We knew that she had trouble paying taxes in 2009 and 2010, but now the IRS she failed to pay in 2011, either. You know, because the IRS doesn’t take airline bottles of booze as payment.

And now the State of California that’s trying to collect the $56,717.90 that Lohan never paid. Add that to the unpaid 2009 taxes of $93,701.57 and the 2010 bill for $140,203.30 and it all adds up to….carry the one….Lohan is screwed.

To be fair, Lohan cleared the 2009 bill because Charlie Sheen found 100K in drug money under a couch cushion and gave it to her, but still, she owes even more as every day passes.

And, well, she still has 2012 to deal with, and that Liz & Dick income, and the porn movie paycheck. So, I imagine that this time next year her Back Tax Bill will be even higher.

Kate Gosselin was on The View this week to promote her appearance on Celebrity Wife Swap.

Let’s stop. Um, doesn’t one have to be a wife to be part of the swap? And single mom Kate, who loves to talk about how hard it is to be a single mom because she’s single and not married and a mom and single doesn’t exactly fill the bill, you know.

But, for the show she switched places with Kendra Wilkinson and her one kid for a week, and then  Kendra got stuck with K8’s 8. Now, I didn’t watch the show because, well, it’s stupid and because, well, Kate Gosselin was on it, but I heard Kate made Kendra cry when she lit into her for not being a hands-on mom, saying, “Reading your manual made me believe that you just let everybody else do everything because you don’t care.” This from the single mom who isn’t married and is a single mom and has a team of nannies.

But, more telling than K8’s rudeness, shrillness, bitchiness, and utter need to be on TV at any chance she’s given, is the idea that Kate’s had some work done. Lotsa folks are saying she had lotsa work done, like a nose job, face lift and injectables and I’d have to agree. See, Old K8 and New K8 are not the same K8. And four, count ‘em four, doctors are weighing on K8’s surgery—though not the idea that the money spent on the surgeries might better have been spent on her 8 children since she’s a single unmarried mother of eight who’s single.

Dr. Steven Fallek, a New York-based plastic surgeon, says, “Definitely a facelift — which includes her neck.”

” Dr. Ed Williams, Group Vice President for Public and Regulatory Affairs for the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery : “Life is either treating her exceptionally well or she had work done”

Dr. Renato Calabria suggests she had fat or stem cells grafted onto her face: “This procedure is done by harvesting the fat in other part of the body and in case of fat grafting injecting it back to the face trough tiny incisions.”

Dr. Richard Norden, FACS of Norden Laser Eye Associates, believes that Kate may not have had a full-fledged facelift, but utilized Botox and a new form of facial rejuvenation: “Her neck seems to be noticeably lifted. I would guess that she had the hot new non-surgical facelift using non-invasive ultrasound called Ultherapy.”

Dr. Stephen Greenberg, Author of A Little Nip, A Little Tuck, surmises that Kate underwent a procedure called tip rhinoplasty: “Tip rhinoplasty is usually done just to thin out the roundness of the tip giving it more definition.

All that work because she got one episode of Wife Swap? Too bad there’s no such thing as a personality lift, or having one’s bitchiness taken off.

K8 could’a used that.

Okay, so like we remember where we were when Kennedy was shot, or when Cher won the Oscar for Moonstruck, we all remember back in June 2012 when Lindsay Lohan crashed her Porsche on the Pacific Coast Highway and a million cracked-out stories erupted, right?

I remember posting that Lindsay got out of her totaled Porsche—from the driver’s side—and tossed all the vodka bottles from the trunk. Now, that might have never happened, but, we’ll never really know, will we?

But, new reports suggest that Lohan was drinking the day of the crash, but prosecutors in the case are thinking of giving her a plea deal.

Drunk driver say what?

Law enforcement sources say a bottle of alcohol was found next to Lindsay’s Porsche, and that her breath smelled of alcohol, but for some reason, cops did not perform a field sobriety test at the scene of the crash.

And yet, the Santa Monica City Attorney is prepared to offer Lindsay 60 days in a residential rehab facility in her lying-to-cops case—where she said she wasn’t driving the Porsche—which is four months less than the original offer. In addition, the City Attorney wants Lindsay to attend another set of AA meetings and to do community service—like, for me, that would be telling her to stop making movies. That’s community service, y’all.

And that’s how Lohan keeps getting off, to drink and drive and crash and bar fight and jewel heist another day.

PR 11 Ep 6: Senior Moments

This week we get the obligatory story from the designers about how now the game is on, because all it takes is one mistake and you’re out. Um, designers? The tagline of the show since it began is ‘One day you’re in, one day you’re out.’ So, why does it take y’all six weeks until you become surprised that’s how it works?

Ben brags about his success last week and how He\’s back, baby. But, um, he’s bragging to Richard who actually won last week so someone needs to remove Benjamin’s Delusional IV Drip STAT.

Now, Michelle, always a bridesmaid never a bride, until last week when the judges finally talked to her. And she doesn’t get it because she’s so good and Patricia sucks at just about everything and everyone should know it but they don’t and Please oh please, God don’t let me get partnered with Patricia.

So, naturally, the Button Bag makes another appearance and Michelle is put on Patricia’s team. Show of hands of anyone who didn’t see that coming a mile away …. Anyone? Just as I thought.

This week is the Real Woman Challenge, with a twist. The real women are older women; feisty, some, but older. But, Amanda has this you know, because this is in her wheelhouse; she designs for real old women …. Or something. That said, let’s rip……

SAFE

LAYANA MICHELLE PATRICIA

I like Michelle; she’s funny, snarly, bitchy ….. She’s me, with a vagina.

Ooh, I think I threw up a little in my mouth, but anyway …. She’s always been on the Bottom because other designers on her team have sucked something awful. Last week she sucked, but at least it was because she sucked herself.

Oh dear, throwing up a little more.

That said, Michelle’s dress was fun and flirty, and Layana’s dress, while I loathed the color—bruise isn’t a good color on anyone even if you call it eggplant—was fine, too. Patricia’s was a poncho turned shawl turned potato sack that became a burlap bag and was so awful it dragged Michelle and Layana out of the top and into the Middle.

Luckily, I guess, because it could have been worse. But, again, Michelle, never a bride …..

TOP TWO .... with the winner

STANLEY & RICHARD

I kinda got the worry vibe about Stanley, whom I still adore, because during Tim’s visit he hadn’t sewn a single thing. And then he says, 'Oh I can finish' and I flashback to weeks past when he is slipping his dress on the model as they walk out the door. So, I’m worried, and a bit annoyed that one of those older real women was able to grab his ass while I sat here all alone, and jealous, and stuff.

But I think he got lucky, because he got a Model-sized Real Woman who was, to start with, elegant and classy and sexy, and all she needed was a little boost from a bolero jacket and a one-piece pantsuit.

His look was so sexy, and his model looked so fabulous, I wanted to book a flight to NYC, find that dance studio and ask that woman to dance. Now that’s good design when it makes me wanna ask a woman to dance!

Heidi liked his look, but thought the pants were too short. Rachel Roy, working my last nerve because she was sitting in for The Adorable Zac Posen™ and I needed a little TAZP™ this week, said Stanley captured the class and elegance, and regalness of his client. Guest Judge Joan Rivers said his model looked like a Second Wife—you know, who gets the good jewelry and clothes—and was age appropriate sexy. Nina said, even with the faults in the pants—bad length and the wonky crotch—it was nearly impeccable and he didn’t play it safe like ….

Richard. I didn’t like his look nearly as much as the judges.  It was shapeless, and the front had some weird detail that looked like the dress was meant to have a drawstring and it was pulled out at the last minute. It looked like a pool cover-up. Me, no like. But Heidi did, go figure, since The Girls were entirely covered. Joan loved the easiness of it, and the fact that the woman had great legs and should show them off: “You’ve got great knees! So show ‘em, bitch!” Nina liked the easy silhouette but thought the fabric drowned out the client. Rachel Roy thought it the most youthful of all on the runway last night.

But, Stanley gets the win, and it was well-deserved. There was no doubt that his was the best thing walking

TOP TWO

DANIEL & SAMANTHA

Daniel, who was stunned, I tell ya, stunned that he was in the bottom last week, and was told that his looks were dated, vows that he will never go bottoming again …. At least not on TV, and thank the goddess for that!

But, he struggled and had all kinds of questions while working. He kept asking Samantha what he should do, and then would tell her what he was gonna do, and what it was gonna look like; I was waiting for her, begging for her, to use that mustache hair, thread a needle and sew his mouth shut. Please.

Daniel’s client wanted sexy cruise wear and something in black-and-white, and he gave her what, to me, looked safe and dull and not black-and-white. Sure, he went all twisty and gave her just one color, and a sleeve detail and a waist detail, but it was a black suit she could have gotten just about anywhere. I’m guessing the judges hated Patricia’s outfit so violently that Daniel owes her a muffin basket because his look, and Samantha’s, would have gone middle ground if Patricia was exed out of Team MichLay.

Heidi praised him for pleasing the client, and being true to his own aesthetic. Nina simply said ‘Welcome back’ though I did notice she had taken off her shoe just in case she had to throw it at him again. Joan Rivers said she looked great, but she looked like a First Wife—the one you have until you make a little money and then dump her and get a younger model on whom you can shower jewels and great clothes. Rachel Roy loved the neck, the waist and the sleeves, but, if that’s all you like, you have a half-nekkid elderly woman and that can’t be good. Melissa Rivers—who guested because she’s always Joan’s Plus One—thought it could have used more pop.

As for Samantha, her client said she loved leopard and that was all Samantha needed to hear. Leopard. Leopard skirt, with a chartreuse top and a big black bow.

Yes, she did. Her client has tattoos and anklets and just lost 30+ pounds and wanted to rock an outfit. I wanted to throw a rock at it. I found it looked a little too much like mash-up of Carol Burnett as Mrs. Wiggins and Cher as Laverne.

Joan Rivers called her a ‘menopausal kitten’ and said it had an 'I’m-not-dead-yet' vibe; I think those are compliments. Heidi loved the model’s sassy attitude but actually hated the outfit, while Nina thought that the tattooed woman should have been given princess sleeves and a bow.

But, they got a second place, and, like I said, should thank Patricia for bringing down that other team.

BOTTOM TWO

KATE & TU

They’re a cute, nonsexual, non-threatening team, though they have their issues. Tu’s English is as undecipherable as his sewing skills and Kate’s an elderly woman living on a fixed income trapped inside a twenty-something’s body.

Tu’s dress was a good idea, but he couldn’t execute it; well, he did execute it, but not in the way we’d like to think; he killed it, and not in the way you think. He murdered it and not …. It was bad, y’all. It was a great color, but he was far too ambitious in his design. When Tim asked him if he wasn’t being too ambitious, Tu said, Thank you.

Not how he meant it, Tu.

There were pleats left unsewn and hemlines that wobbled and, well, thanks to Kate, a slight, badly executed rescue of the whole mess by employing that age-old fix-it tip: put a belt on it.

Yes, rather than sew the dress, or maybe add buttons, Tu’s client was belted into her dress. And I use the term ‘dress’ loosely—almost as loosely as the dress fit the model—because it looked like a green horseblanket thrown over a woman with a belt on it.

My six-year-old ….. cat ….. could do better.

Nina praised the color, but thought it was way too much fabric; Tu explained that he should have used a twin-bed blanket but all they had at Mood, Bath and Beyond was the King-sized blanket. Heidi was the first to call out the fact that the dress didn’t look like it was even together, while the Immortal—because she’s like a thousand years old—Joan Rivers said, You’ve got no f**king idea in h*ll who you’re designing for.”

And Tu smiled. I think he thought it was a compliment.

Kate, on the other hand, even after Tim was worried about the black fabric and the white print, made a really classy dress for her client.  Had she not been paired with Tu, I think she would have gone Top Three.

Nina loved the fabrics and thought the print was both joyful and age appropriate, and Joan said the client was as happy as John Travolta in a massage parlor, though, because of Tu there was no Happy Ending. And Heidi said that; Tu’s bad dress dragged Kate into the bottom.

BOTTOM TWO .... with the Aufee

AMANDA & BENJAMIN

Amanda was a mess this week. She’d wanted to do something structured and then picked out a flimsy fabric with no structure at all; and I don’t care what anyone says, that was one awful print. So, she meandered and twirled and pouted and nearly came to tears because she just couldn’t do this, though it’s what she says she always does, dress the normal woman.

Not this time.

It went from being structured to being a vintage housecoat to being one hot mess from the front and one ginormous disaster from the back. Flouncy sleeves and a kicky skirt, with a loop-de-loop neckline, and then the back panels seemed to be glued together to make them more, I dunno, all I could think was ugly.

Rachel Roy loved the print—but she was wrong, I tell ya—but from the neck down it was one mistake after another. Joan was disgusted by the bad hemline and the bad sleeves and the fact that it was all kinds of wrong. Heidi thought it was too flowy and also wondered about the glued back; did she sit in something? Eeew. Nina called it undignified, and said it looked like a dress for a child.

That said, as I watched the episode back, when Amanda had her client meeting, the client looked like she was wearing almost the same dress—though not as hideous. Did Amanda not notice that her print was strikingly similar to the client’s original outfit; and the style, while awful, was close, too?

Amanda really should have gone home because this was awful from head to toe and back to front and upside down.

Benjamin got the fun spunky model and then put her in a Silk Turquoise Straightjacket Dress. He did himself in because he spent most of the episode thinking about how good he was last week—he’d also forgotten the One Day You’re In, One Day You’re Out mantra—and just couldn’t recover.

Of course, that hideous, puckering fabric didn’t help because rather than hiding flaws, it shone a light on them. Rippled, puckered turquoise tourniquets were what I got from the dress. And I hated that he sort of blamed his client for the ill-fitting mess, telling us that it fit fine yesterday, but today it’s too tight.

Don’t blame the spunky lady.

Heidi said it looked like a party dress that can’t wait for the party to be over. Rachel Roy said the construction was bad, and when Nina agreed, Benjamin pointed out some skirt details and Nina was like, ‘That’s bad, too.’ Joan Rivers summed up the tightness and the stiffness by asking if the model was hiding the Liberty Bell under her skirt.

Because that’s what it looked like.

So, while Amanda’s dress was all bad and Tu can sew for sh*t—Thanks Michelle—it was Benjamin’s turn to be sent packing. And, of course, he told us it wasn’t fair and he’s really good and it wasn’t his time and ….

I turned the TV off.

MY TAKE

Next week ducks, and duct tape, and prom. Oh my.

Now, about this team business. This is the second, maybe third time, that a team could have won, but they had one god awful look that brought them down. And this is the second, maybe third time, Heidi has mentioned that the teams are missing the point; they don’t have to design as teams, but they have to work together as teams, and help each.

Perhaps had Michelle stopped her confessional box rant at Patricia and actually told Patricia that her design was fug, maybe she might have had a win under her belt.

There is no I in Teams, Michelle, but there is an I in Middle.

What did YOU think?

I Didn't Say It ....

Michelle Obama, at the Oscars:

"These nine movies took us back in time and all around the world they made us laugh, they made us weep and they made us grip our armrests just a little tighter. They taught us that love can endure against all odds and transform our lives in the most surprising ways, and they reminded us that we can overcome any obstacle if we dig deep enough and fight hard enough and find the courage to believe in ourselves. These lessons apply to all of us no matter who we are or what we look like or where we come from or who we love."

Nicely put, Missus O.

Frank Rich, on the Republican scramble to support marriage equality: 

"The die is cast on this issue, and the signatories are belatedly getting ahead of history before it flattens them like a tank. Generational turnover alone assumes gay marriage will be a done deal in America; public opinion on this issue has moved faster than any civil-rights battle in our history."

It's that whole 'wrong side of history' thing, and makes me wonder how the GOP will spin that when marriage equality is everywhere.

Cuz that's gonna happen, y'all.

Christopher West, 'author,' says same-sex marriage exists is because Satan wants to destroy opposite sex love-making:

"This story is only revealed in the glory and beauty and mystery of the sexual difference. That's where we see the call to holy, life-giving communion. What we're losing, what we're risking, is when we don't live the sexual difference rightly that calls men and women to communion, what is ultimately at stake is we're not going to see the call to holy communion with Christ....Perhaps there is an enemy at work here. Put it this way. If the union of man and woman really is the revelation of Christ's love for the Church, then it would make sense that an enemy would want to attack the union of man and woman precisely to prevent us from entering the union of Christ and the Church."

Um, I think Satan has better things to do....or is it worse things to do....than worry about how The Gays have sex. Just like God has better thing to do than pick Oscar winners and Superbowl Champs.

Brenden Petersen, Republican senator from Minnesota, on the threat by NOM's Brian Brown to unseat any Republican who supports marriage equality:

"Regardless of the amount, whether it's $500,000 or $50 million, my vote is not going to bought either way. I'm going to do what's right. If they want to throw away $500,000, then that's their decision."

Snap.

And Nom, who wasted some $2 million last year to have a same-sex marriage ban written into the Minnesota Constitution, should rethink how they spend their money.

I think it best they spend it on resume building, because they'll all be out of work soon.

Peter Sprigg, Family Research Council vice president, on the Maryland Senate Judiciary Committee considering a bill to ban gender identity discrimination:

"A person who believes they are, or wishes to be, the opposite sex from that which is written in the chromosomes of every cell of his or her body, is suffering from a disconnection with an immutable biological reality. The solution to this problem is not actions - up to and including self-mutilating surgery amputating healthy body parts - which will reinforce this disconnect with reality. I must oppose this bill because it will not work. This bill would force the state and private actors - employers, landlords, and others who provide public services - to officially and legally affirm the very delusion that puts these suffering individuals at odds with reality. Not only will it not make their lives better, but it will prevent them from getting the very help they do need to make their lives better."

I think Sprigg is suffering from a split between his brain and his mouth. His science is off, his thoughts are off, he's just plain off.

Discrimination of anyone is wrong. Plain and simple.

Roger Mahony, Catholic Cardinal, complaining that people are being mean to him just because he shielded pedophiles from the police:

"I can't recall a time such as now when people tend to be so judgmental and even self-righteous, so quick to accuse, judge and condemn.  And often with scant real facts and information.  Because of news broadcasts now 24/7 there is little or no fact checking; no in-depth analysis; no context or history given.  Rather, everything gets reported as 'news' regardless of the basis for the item being reported--and passed on by countless other news outlets ... We have ended up with a climate in which it's the norm to instantly pass judgment on one another, taking in and repeating gossip, sharing someone else's judgment as the truth, no regard for other people who may be harmed.  Whatever happened to the norm of giving others the benefit of a doubt until hard evidence proves otherwise?"

Um, Cardinal? If I may? You’re a dick.

You helped, helped, priests rape children, because you kept them hidden and safe and free to rape and rape and rape again, and did nothing, so, if people are being mean to you …. Boo-fucking-hoo.

You should be glad you aren’t in jail and being gang raped.

Anderson Cooper, on whether or not people in the media who are closeted should come out or not:

"I mean look, it’s a personal decision that everyone has to make for their own reasons. Obviously, I think we’re all better off with greater visibility, so I would encourage people to do what they’re comfortable with, but no, my opinion hasn’t changed. Look, I’m pretty understanding of where people are at, and people are at different places in their lives. But there’s a bunch of people whom I’m surprised have not been more forward, and you know given their position and the extent to which they’re forward about other aspects about their lives."

I think it’s a personal choice to come out, but when you see how much better, happy, more at peace, those people are who’ve chosen to come out, then you must realize that it’s okay.

Come on out, the water’s fine!

Pope Benny, in his farewell address:

"There were moments of joy and light but also moments that were not easy. There were moments, as there were throughout the history of the Church, when the seas were rough and the wind blew against us and it seemed that the Lord was sleeping. I took this step in the full knowledge of its gravity and rarity but with a profound serenity of spirit.”

So, Benny believes God, the all-knowing, all-powerful, all-present, God, has been asleep some oft eh time and that’s why certain things have happened?

God.Sleeps.

His theory may have some merit. I mean, lets’ say God was asleep all those years that the Catholic Church has been protecting pedophiles. Makes sense, no? I mean an awake God surely would have had something to say about child rapists in the church.

Oh, and Benny? careful on your way out!