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… that there is a special class of people who turn every
crappy situation into a master class in stupidity and they are known as
Dipshitiots. … that there are some people who have pissed me off from the moment we met that I wanted to buy them a toaster … for their bathtub. … that whenever someone says to me, “What do you mean by
that,” I generally reply, “Probably what the fuck I just said.” … that people don’t understand that I am not rude, I am
selectively nice, and you were not selected. … that when people piss me off I tell them to F.O.C.US … Fuck Off Cuz You’re Stupid. … that not even my friends understand that I would be the
first person killed in a horror movie cuz I refuse to use my last minutes
running. … that when I suggested to my boss that we should be allowed
to fight one client a day, and perhaps two on Fridays, he was not happy. … that getting old is so hard; one wrong pillow alignment
and my neck is filing for disability. … that no one understands that my Serenity Prayer is, “God,
grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change direction when I see them coming, and the wisdom to not smack some sense
into them when I can’t avoid them.” … that I’ve only just realized that if you’re going to talk to me for more than two minutes, I’m gonna need something to lean on. |
Saturday, May 30, 2026
Why Is It ...
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There is an element of truth in that last one!
ReplyDeleteI often find myself looking for something to lean on as certain people start to talk.
DeleteYour FOCUS reminds me of an old acronyms used years ago. FUBAR or fucked up beyond all reason. Pretty apt these days.
ReplyDeleteBoth are good!
DeleteYou always says (write) the things I would love to say. I HAD a friend who never understood anything that was said the first time around. When you wanted to not have to go into great detail and most people would get the gist, she would say “What do you mean by that?” Oh to have been able to say, “Probably what the fuck I just said.” I’m fantasizing about that now. Bless you!
ReplyDeleteNothing is more annoying to me than, "What did you mean by that?"
DeleteOpen your $&(*@^*&#^*$#ing ears!!!
the dog's mother
ReplyDeletexoxo :-)
A hair dryer works better in a bathtub and since it's logical to have a hair dryer in the bathroom, the idea of murder rarely creeps into the conversation.
ReplyDeleteThat's for amateurs.
DeleteA blow dryer would be natural in a bathroom and could be deemed an accident.
Not so the toaster.
I know someone who puzzled over what I had said and challenged me with it the next time we met when I had completely forgotten the entire conversation. I have learned to be careful what I say, he is a bit mentally challenged and doesn't understand most jokes either.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to be clear on what I said, please record me and listen to it at home, away from me.
DeleteMy first real boss (hey George!) had a policy that the staff could be endlessly rude to one customer a year, and he would clean up the mess. I worked for him for five years and he only once had to deal with the aftermath.
ReplyDeleteI like his style!!
Delete