Why Is It ...

… that I want to start booing people during conversations that don’t interest me.

… that when I was a kid I could fall ten feet off the monkey bars, jump up and yell, ‘I’m fine,’ but these days when I try to scoop ice cream that’s a little to frozen I dislocate my shoulder.

… that I find myself at that age where the only club you’re gonna catch me at now is Sam’s Club.

… that my friends don’t understand how to text with purpose. I can’t be Hey, Heying everyday….

… that male bees have it made; they die right after mating. That’s their life. Honey. Nut. Cheerio.

… that most of my co-workers understand what I’m saying just by my facial expressions, eye rolls and slights twitches, but the ones who don’t will do so soon enough.

… that I don’t always go the extra mile but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.

… that there is nothing funnier than hearing a work friend use their fake customer service voice in public and thinking, ‘That’s not the real you.’

… that if it’s the thought that counts, I’d probably be in jail by now.