Carlos Said To Wear A Mask If I Go Trick-or-Treating

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I’ll admit I know next nothing about Aubrey O’Day except that she’s had Junior’s dick inside of her, but this is far more interesting.

After that last debate, O’Day decided to drop her own October Surprise by spilling the tea on the _____’s … well,  except for the self-appointed LGBQIIA—that’s what she called us when she declared herself an ally—Tiffany.

Aubrey started off by Tweeting that she had been f**ked by Junior more than once … I guess he couldn’t get it right … after meeting him on the fifth season of The Celebrity Apprentice in 2012, but then she turned her attention to the debates. 

When _____ brought up Hunter Biden, Aubrey, who is clearly Team Biden, Tweeted that Junior hates his Daddy—because Daddy loves Ivanka more—and then claimed that Daddy ______ banged an unnamed  Miss Universe from his show, and that Favorite Child, Ivanka, is a down-low Lesbian.

Oh, the shade! Aubrey later deleted that tweet—though nothing tweeted ever really dies, as you can see below—and then even went after littlest _____, Barron, calling him a spoiled little bitch:

“and while we are at it.. I have texts of don jr telling me what a little sh*t a**hole barron is. That they were on the private jet and barron didn’t like his food so he threw the plate across the plane at the attendant. NONE of these people are INNOCENT of being assholes & liars!”

She sent another tweet—also since deleted—that read:

“We need to stop discussing kids.. because Ivanka is a lesbian, yet doesn’t support women’s rights in this administration that she RUNS on the low.”

Now, I don’t know if Ivanka is a lesbian—and if she is, we really don’t want her,  so there’ll be no Toaster Oven coming her way—but I do believe she might be asexual, because she went straight from a Daddy who gropes her ass, said he’d date her, right into gender-neutral Ken Doll, Jared Kushner, who appears to wince whenever Ivanka is near.

Just sayin’.

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Wendy Williams is flailing again.

Last week, viewers of her show noted that she seemed unable to stay on topic, slurred her words, and was a sloppy, incoherent rambling mess; and this is different, how? But when one fan took to Instagram to express concern, former Wendy Williams Show DJ, DJ Boof—who recently exited the show with no explanation—responded that “everyone there is afraid to speak up” and hinted at more trouble for the show:

“Yup exactly and it will all come out. Y’all have no idea what’s really going on and everyone there is afraid to speak up because they don’t wanna lose their jobs. This is going to play out bad. I feel sorry for the workers and victims.”

Well, we’ve been here before; Wendy has struggled with sobriety in the past, including a stint in a sober house back in 2019. And there was the day she fainted on air, and other shows featuring more erratic behavior, which she attributed to Graves disease, a thyroid condition that can cause cognitive impairment … and worse when paired with drugs and alcohol.

And her staff does nothing? This is just another case of hangers on allowing their meal ticket to self-destruct because, were she to quit the show and get the help she needs, their paychecks would end.

Wendy’s show was renewed through the 2022 TV season and that’s a lot of coins for the staff and crew … if they can keep Wendy working.

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Oh, out of touch media whores make the best stories.

Kim Kardastrophe West understands the plight of the average American because when she recently celebrated her 40th birthday, she opted for a simple, low-key affair which involved flying her “closest inner circle” to a private island where they “danced, rode bikes, swam near whales, kayaked, watched a movie on the beach and so much more.”

In a pandemic. But she made sure she reminded her fans … fans? … that her little soiree to celebrate herself is “for most people … something that is so far out of reach right now.” You know, cuz you’re poor and your mother never sold your sex tape to a porn site to make you a “star.” But even better, and more telling, than her being an entitled self-absorbed damn the pandemic I want cake little bitch princess made a point of inviting all her nearest and dearest … except her husband.

Ah, love.

PS Yes, that’s a ‘16’on KK’s Kake, and, no, she’s not 16-years-old … that’s her IQ.

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Then there’s Kanye, who didn’t attend was campaigning for president wasn’t invited, but did send a gift … a hologram of KK’s late father Robert Kardashian that showered KK with reassuring words and compliments and ended like this:

“You married the most, most, most, most, most genius man in the whole world—Kanye West.”

His gift was her dead father saying she’d married a genius that he had never met, or even heard of … That’s so Kanye!

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Oh, dear goddess, she wants to be an actress.

A new movie starring Priyanka Chopra and Sam Heughan is being made, but no one cares about them because …. Celine Dion is going to be in the movie as well.

The film, Text For You, is a remake of a foreign film about texting. Chopra plays a woman whose fiancé dies, and she starts sending romantic texts to his old cell. Trouble is, the old number has been reassigned to Heughan, who is also dealing with the loss of the love, and through the music of Dion they learn to carry on and love again.

Barf. To the movie and Celine Dion.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Jon Ossoff, the Democratic challenger to GOP Senator David Perdue in the Georgia Senate race, spelling out all his opponent’s crimes and misdeeds:

“Well perhaps Senator Perdue would have been able to respond properly to the COVID-19 pandemic if you hadn’t been fending off multiple federal investigations for insider trading. It’s not just that you’re a crook, Senator. It’s that you’re attacking the health of the people that you represent. You did say COVID-19 was no deadlier than the flu. You did say there would be no significant uptick in cases. All the while, you were looking after your own assets, and your own portfolio, and you did vote four times to end protections for pre-existing conditions. Four times. And the legislation that you tout, The Protect Act, it includes loopholes that specifically allow insurance companies to deny policies to Georgians with preexisting conditions. Can you look down the camera and tell the people of this state why you voted four times to allow insurance companies to deny us health coverage, because we may suffer from diabetes, or heart disease, or asthma, or have cancer in remission? Why, Senator?”

This is how you take on the corrupt GOP. To their faces, in front of a crowd, with no parsing of your words.

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Ellen Weintraub, Commissioner on the Federal Election Commission, responding to _____’s assertion that only votes counted on election day matter:

“An election is not a reality show with a big reveal at the end. All we get on Election Night are projections from TV networks. We ‘never’ have official results on Election Night. Counting ballots—all of 'em—is the appropriate, proper, and very legal way to determine who won.”

Schooled him. But since he’s about the dumbest man on the planet, he still doesn’t get it.

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Billy Porter, Pose star, Broadway performer, fashion icon, on America:

“So, let me be clear right up front: America is not now, nor have we ever been, better than this. We have tried and, for suspended moments in time, we have succeeded. But make no mistake: This moment we are in is pure and purposeful chaos. We are a country founded on the plunder and genocide of a people who were already occupying this land, and a country built on the backs of a people stolen from their homeland, shackled on ships, and brought here to be enslaved. For 250 years! Think about that for just one moment. Take that number in for real. I finally have: a quarter-millennium.”

America can do better, but we haven’t yet, and, sadly, it’s because we keep electing white men into power. Try a little color, a different gender, another orientation; try electing people who have been disenfranchised throughout time and see if things change.

I bet they can.

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Jared Kushner, White House eunuch, proving the administration has racism running all the way through it:

“The thing we’ve seen in the Black community, which is mostly Democrat, is that President ______’s policies are the policies that can help people break out of the problems that they’re complaining about, but he can’t want them to be successful more than they want to be successful.”

Yes, rich white criminal says black people are lazy and don’t want to be successful.

But then this is the _____ White House so racism is rampant.

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Mark Schultz, owner of  Oblio's, a bar in Oshkosh, who saw his business closed because of the pandemic, and who is now sick with COVID-19, begging people to stay safe:

"I don’t worry much about me, but I got a 10-year-old son and my fiancée — that’s all I care about. My family is all at home. They are all worried about me. I don’t want them to worry about me. I don’t want them to go through this. I hope I get to go home. I just want to punch [_____]. I always had to keep my politics to myself, but from where I'm sitting now? Those days are over. I shouldn't be here. I’m just frustrated with the president — the nonchalantness of this virus. They should be afraid. It's nothing to mess with. You’ve gotta wear masks. You've gotta social distance. You've gotta wash your hands. You've gotta sanitize. You have to follow the rules. They're very simple. You've got to follow their guidelines. People have to feel comfortable going out. I don’t blame anybody for not going out. I kind of recommend it — it’s being safe."

At Oblio's, Schultz has three simple rules: Don't talk about politics. Don't talk about religion. And don't talk about someone's wife. But now, as he fights to even breath, he has been pushed to break that first rule, saying _____ should have been more upfront with the public from the beginning about the dangers of the coronavirus, should have acted quicker, promoted wearing face masks.

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Steve Bannon, former political strategist for _____, on what might be in the soon-to-be ex-president’s future:

“I’ll make this prediction right now: If for any reason the election is stolen from, or in some sort of way Joe Biden is declared the winner, _____ will announce he’s going to run for re-election in 2024. You’re not going to see the end of Donald _____.”

I kinda see this happening, which is why every single goddamned vote counts in every single election in every city and town in this country.

Otherwise, we’ll see the rise of _____ism again.

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Bobservations

Okay, while most Carlos stories happen organically, I will be honest about how I kinda orchestrated this one … that happened while we were watching Saturday Night Live on Sunday morning, Adele as guest host though, sadly, not the musical guest; that went to H.E.R. When H.E.R. began to sing, Carlos said:

“Is that Adele? That’s not Adele.”

“It’s H.E.R.”

“It doesn’t sound like her.”

“Well, it is H.E.R.”

“Adele?”

“It’s H.E.R.”

“It doesn’t look like her.”

“Well, it is H.E.R.”

It went round and round like this for many minutes.

Tuxedo wants y’all to remember that _____ is such a master of deflecting who he is onto to his opponents.

What the what … in an interview with Religion News Service, Good Christian ______ says he no longer identifies as a Presbyterian and now sees himself as a non-denominational Christian.

This is a smooth plot to free him from attending services at a Presbyterian Church on holidays to appease his base. Now he can claim that he’s feeling his Christianity while he sits in the bunker, gorges on Big Macs,  snorts Adderall and watches Fox News.

I come from a family that has been Dodger supporters since way before I was born, and it was nice to see the Dodgers win the World Series this week for the first time since the late 80s.

What wasn’t nice was Dodgers third baseman Justin Turner, after being pulled from the game after testing positive for COVID-19, going onto the field after his team’s win, hugging players and at one point removing his mask for photos.

World Series of Stupid, Justin, World Series of Stupid.

One of these things is not like the other. Throughout _____’s presidency, many people have suggested that Melanie has a double who appears with _____ when the check to Original Recipe Melanie™ doesn’t clear. Some call her, Second Lady—even though, to be fair, Melanie is _____’s Third Lady, making the double Fourth Lady. I call her The Double.

I first saw The Double when ______ and Original Recipe Melanie™ ALLEGEDLY went to Alabama after those tornadoes, and people pointed out that this “Melanie” was shorter than Original Recipe Melanie™, and had enough facial differences to be noticeable. Oh, and she almost always wears sunglasses, so you don’t see the surgically altered eyes of Original Recipe Melanie™. Folks pointed out that Original Recipe Melanie™ has a Secret Service bodyguard who looks suspiciously like her, so maybe The Double is a Secret Service officer.

And that makes me wonder if this Secret Service agent, playing the role of Original Recipe Melanie™, gets hazard pay at the taxpayer’s expense. I also notice that The Double has no aversion to holding _____’s hand, while Original Recipe Melanie™ recoils at his touch.

Up there, left is Original Recipe Melanie™, while The Double appears to the right.

Good news out of Texas … after backlash from lawmakers and LGBTQ+ advocates, a state board voted to undo a rule change that would have allowed social workers to turn away clients who are LGBTQ+ or have a disability.

Seriously, The Gays and people with disabilities can’t be parents?

Not anymore; the Texas Behavioral Health Executive Council voted unanimously to restore protections for LGBTQ and disabled clients to Texas social workers’ code of conduct.

Good. Common sense … in Texas.

More good LGBTQ+ news … the US State Department withdrew its appeal in Kiviti v. Pompeo and elected not to appeal Mize-Gregg v. Pompeo which challenged the citizenship of children born abroad to married gay, US citizen couples.

It’s looks like hot, tall, gay British actor Luke Evans and Rafa Olarra may have broken up in that newfangled way: Evans unfollowed Olarra on social media and photos of the couple vanished from Evans’ Instagram page.

I feel bad, but not bad enough to tell Luke that if he needs a hug … yeah, a “hug” … he can pop over to Smallville and knock on my door and I can make him feel better.

I’ll lock Carlos in the bathroom. Just sayin’.

In one the biggest lies ever told by the ______ Administration—which is saying a lot—the White House science office listed ending the COVID-19 pandemic as an accomplishment.

Yes, y’all. The pandemic is over … even though the very same day the US reported more than 83,000 new cases of COVID, and another 1,000 people died.

Doh! A federal judge ruled this week that _____ can be personally sued for defamation in connection with his denial, while in office, of a decades-old rape allegation. The judge also rejected Billy Barr’s Justice Department’s attempt to step into the case and defend _____, which means the lawsuit filed by E. Jean Carroll can move forward against _____ in his capacity as a private citizen.

Carroll has accused ______ of raping her in a department store dressing room in the 1990s, and claims he harmed her reputation when he denied the attack and branded her a liar.

We all know I like me some Hot Mens, and share many photos of them in various stages of dress and undress, but every so often, it’s just the face that makes me swoon … like actor Kingsley Ben-Adir who appeared in the anthology series, Soulmates … and actor Shamier Anderson who also appeared in Soulmates. Then we have older silver fox model Gregg Avedon, and younger hottie Hugo Acioli

Uh huh. Hot faces.

Architecture Wednesday: Napa Valley Vineyard Estate

To be fair, I could live in a lot of places around the world, but there is one place that I lived very close to that always draws me back: Napa Valley, California.

It’s the weather, it’s the valley, and, yeah, it’s the wine. And this week it’s this gorgeous Napa Valley vineyard estate because it’s stunning, it has gorgeous views, and is surrounded by vineyards; the wine is seriously close. In fact, the house sits on 3.62 acres and the vineyard is 3 acres … three acres of wine!!

I know … enough with the wine.

It’s a large home, right around 6,000 square feet, with five bedrooms—each with its own bathroom—and two half baths, a great room for living and dining—with a monstrous wine room at one end and a monstrous fireplace at the other. The kitchen and family room open up to the pool deak, the outdolor kitchen, and the outdoor bar.

Outdoor bar. Are they trying to get me to drain the bank account for this one??

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