Thursday, September 20, 2018

Bobservations

Y’all know we survived the hurricane with no damage, save some fallen branches and a butt-load of leaves and debris. So, even though the storm was still hovering over us on Sunday, I thought it best to get back to normal and I asked Carlos if he was making pancakes as usual for Sunday breakfast.
“Pancakes? We’re having a hurricane!”
“Well then, call them hurricakes and get to it!”
I kill me.
Another reason to keep your religion out of my government?

GOP …because, of course … Tennessee State Senator Mark Green who opposes Medicaid expansion because it prevents people from finding God.

Oh, but he does. Mark Green rejected billions in federal Medicaid expansion funds because he believed the funding would lead people away from Jesus:
“People go to God because of a physical need and they walk away with a spiritual need met. That’s the story of the Gospels. And so government has stepped in, at least in this country, and done all the work for the church. And so the person who’s in need — they look to the government for the answer. Not God. And I think, in that way, government has done an injustice that’s even bigger than just the entitlement — creation of an entitlement welfare state. I think it’s even bigger. And in this setting, I’ll share the story… I think it interrupts the opportunity for people to come to a saving knowledge of who God is.".
That’s right, Green would deny people in his state medical care in the hope that they might find God instead. It is at once both despicable and deplorable.”

Seriously. Another GOP asshat using God and fear for votes.
Roseanne says she knows how her character will be killed off of ABC's The Conners spin-off.
"Oh, they killed her. They have her die of an opioid overdose. It wasn't enough to just do what they did to me, they had to, so cruelly, insult the people who loved that family and that show. They had to cruelly insult them and that's what they chose to do. There's nothing I can do about it. It's done."
We loved that family, but not after you turned her into some rightwingnut _____ goose-stepper to match your off-screen persona. And we’ll love the family even more because they’ll get back to being topical and funny.

Still, we’ll have to wait and see if Roseanne’s right, though my money is her ‘cause of death’ is wrong ... it was "Ambien"..
I don’t watch Big Brother but apparently, last week, right after her husband Les Moonves resigned as head of CBS over sexual misconduct allegations, BB host Julie Chen, signed off the show with a new name …Julie Chen Moonves … for the first time ever.

And the backlash was swift, with one publicist, Danny Deraney, whose clients include Illeana Douglas, a Moonves accuser, saying he would no longer book any of his clients on Chen’s show The Talk.

Oh, except now Chen is stepping down from The Talk saying she has to focus on “clearing her husband’s name from accusations made 25-30 years ago and tending to her son.”
She signed off again, ’Julie Chen Moonves’ although, as I posted to Twitter, it sounded a lot like she said ‘Camille Cosby.’

#ByeFelicia
South Carolina Republican Senator, Miss Lindsey Graham used to be known mainly as a War Hawk and for being John McCain’s BFF. And, like most Republicans, he used to have open contempt for candidate _____, calling him unhinged and a kook and unfit for office.

But today? Graham lost his flipping' mind and has moved away from McCain, even before his passing, and perched himself in _____’s lap. And now he’s saying he "regrets" that McCain "didn't have more time" with the president, pointing out that McCain was able to forgive the men who imprisoned him in Vietnam. Graham optimistically theorized: "Who knows what would have happened over time?"

John McCain would have kept his opinion on _____ and not caved like a little bitch as Graham did.

That’s what.
More hurricane tales … On Friday before Flo visited, Carlos had the day off, while I had to go to work for a couple of hours. As I was leaving, he said he was going to do some yard work and I told him to be careful, because with the wind kicking up a little, branches could fall from the trees.

He said:
“So, I get hit by a tree. Think how much easier your life would be!”
“Easier? Think of all the phone calls I’d have to make. Think about me trying to say ‘Carlos is dead’ in Spanish to your parents! Think of me calling the police and the funeral home to get rid of the body! Think of me calling someone to take out the tree! It won’t be easy at all for me.”
Again … I kill me.
The Swamp has another resident, former South Carolina governor, and current US Ambassador to the United Nations, Nikki Haley.

At a time when the State Department is freezing salaries and cutting budgets, they spent $52,701 buying customized and mechanized curtains for the picture windows in Haley’s official residence. The 6,000 square foot residence has spectacular views, and costs $58,000 a month, and yet the drapes cost nearly the same.

The curtains themselves were $29,900, while the motors and hardware cost $22,801; Haley’s spokespeople say the cost isn’t that much, given that the drapes would be used for years and, wait for it, because it’s the height of ridiculousness, all Haley has is a part-time maid, and the ability to open and close the curtains quickly is important.

Seriously; that’s the reason.
Speaking of tools, years ago the architect of _____ Tower cameo _____’s office to show him the design for the residential elevator cabs. _____ looked at them and noticed a series of dots located beside the buttons you push for each floor. He demanded the architect remove the dots, and the architect said:
“We can’t. It’s the law.”
“Get rid of the [expletive braille. No blind people are going to live in ____ Tower. Just do it.”
He ended by hurling his favorite epithet at the architect by calling him “weak”.

Still, the braille stayed, and _____ turned out to be the weak one.
A couple of new shows set to air this fall, featuring hotties …

The Little Drummer Girl, based on a John le Carré novel, will air on AMC and is said to compare favorably to last year’s The Night Manager. All I know is that it stars Alexander Skarsgård, who is steaming hot … even when he’s reading nekkid in the snow.

Then there’s A Million Little Things, the story of a group of friends who become motivated to live fuller lives following the unexpected death of a friend. I’ll be motivated to watch because it stars David Giuntoli, a hot hottie formerly of Grimm, and Ron Livingston, formerly of many shows including Sex and the City.

But again, if Skarsgård wants to appear nekkid reading, that’ll be my go-to show.



12 comments:

  1. Seems like god is very curmudgeonly fellow who likes to see people die of illnesses that having Medicaid could cure!

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  2. Glad Carlos got thru his yard work okay! :-)

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  3. I'm in Texas, so "Have you tried praying harder?" might be something a doctor ends up saying to me someday. I have the luxury of being able to go to a different doctor if it happens.

    But hey, praying helped Pat Robertson divert the hurricane from Virginia, so maybe it can cure cancer or something, too?

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  4. I just sprayed my coffee all over the place with that hurricakes comment!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your crazy and smart ads, which is why i love you!

    Julie Chen. She is just hanging on to make sure she gets more money when she dumps his ass. She will play the supportive wife role till his lands in jail, then the bitch will drain what he has left.

    Nikki s curtains? I'd spend that to find that hideous mug. Girl got a face like a mud face.

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  5. Glad to see you like your hurricanes with maple syrup...
    JP

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  6. Hahahahahaha, POTUS dick pic!

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  7. Haley should have come to me, I could have sold her some nice motorized blinds for a lot less... oh, and I can tell you... being motorized does not make them quick.

    Mark Green is one dumb fuck.

    Oh, and I love pancakes. For a tasty syrup, melt butter and brown sugar together in a pan, and throw in some bananas just before serving.

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  8. I love Ileana Douglas, but seriously, if that's the client of recognition he's leading with, it's safe to assume he'd having trouble getting he's getting them on any show...........ever.

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  9. Those long Swedish legs.....

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  10. Oh, Carlos! I must admit, sometimes he deserves it!

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  11. @Mitchell
    Thank you! You feel my pain, and by pain, I mean laughter and joy!

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  12. Mark Green does have a point. Without Medicaid, a lot of people will die and thus get a chance to meet God face to face.

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