The Buffoon Landed ... With A Thud

Just when you thought _____ was a national embarrassment, he takes off for the Middle East and Europe, thus becoming a global humiliation.

And how did he do that?

For one, after campaigning against “radical Islamic terrorism”, and threatening to ban Muslims from coming to this country, he spoke before a mostly Muslim nation and stopped using his pet phrase and never once mentioned his Muslim Ban because ... lying pandering hypocrite.

He may have also offended Saudi Arabia by referring to “Islamic terror” rather than “Islamist terror.” But, hey, the man who claimed everyone is low energy and Hillary has no stamina, was exhausted that first day out so he cancelled some events and took a nap instead.

And maybe his sleepiness is the reason he called Saudi Arabia’s King Salman “King Solomon”— he was off by 3,000 years—and turned the Strait of Hormuz into the “Straits of Hormuz.”

Or, maybe he meant the heterosexuals of Hormuz? Hard to tell what a buffoon really means when he speaks.

And the buffoon, who once scolded President Barack Obama for bowing before a Saudi ruler, bowed before a Saudi ruler; _____, who once criticized Michelle Obama for failing to wear a headscarf in Saudi Arabia, gave a speech there while his bareheaded wife and daughter listened.

Points, though, to Melania for, not once, but twice, smacking away her husband’s hand as he reached for hers.

And then it was on to Israel, where _____ announced that he “just got back from the Middle East,” apparently unaware—because, yes, he’s a buffoon—that Israel is in the Middle East.

He visited the Wailing Wall and wondered how they got Mexico to pay for it; he visited Yad Vashem, Israel’s Holocaust museum, spending fifteen minutes remembering the six million Jews slaughtered in World War II, and left a note that read:

"It is a great honor to be here with my friends! So amazing and will never forget!"

Oy. 

And then it was on to the Vatican and that awkward photo op with the Pope, where _____ beamed like a buffoon, while the Pope grimaced at the idea of posing with a climate-change denying adulterer and his third wife, apparently dressed for a funeral.

After Monday night’s attack at that concert in Manchester, England, _____ reacted by saying:

“I won’t call them monsters because they would like that term. . . . I will call them from now on losers because that’s what’s they are. They’re losers.”

Yes, he has decided to call murderous terrorists by the same name he calls Rosie O’Donnell, Cher, Rihanna, Mark Cuban, George Will, Charles Krauthammer, Bill Maher, Ana Navarro, Chuck Todd, the attorney general of New York, an astrologer in Cleveland, Gwyneth Paltrow, Howard Stern, Jeb Bush, John McCain, Marco Rubio, Karl Rove, Megyn Kelly, the Huffington Post and the New York Daily News ... among others.

Then the buffoon jetted off to attend a meeting of NATO—an alliance he calls “obsolete”—in Brussels—a city he called a “hellhole”—where it was one gaffe after another ...

Remember that wildly uncomfortable handshake with new French President Emmanuel Macron—whom _____ said he always supported even though he never did—that lasted even longer than creepy eye-roll inducing handshake with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe.

And what about the video where _____ shoved Montenegro Prime Minister Dusko Markovic out of the way so he could be at the front of a photo op?

That shove, heard ‘round the world, was taken in stride by _____’s victim, Dusko Markovic, who said:

"It didn't really register. I just saw reactions about it on social networks. It is simply a harmless situation."

Markovic then took the high road and thanked _____ for supporting Montenegro's membership in NATO and said, "it is natural that the president of the United States is in the front row."

Except he shouldn’t shove his way to the front.

The buffoon spoke in front of NATO’s new headquarters, and scolded our allied for not paying their bills; this from a man who has been sued more times than I can count for stiffing contractors who have worked for him:

“NATO members must finally contribute their fair share and meet their financial obligations. This is not fair to the people and taxpayers of the United States. And many of these nations owe massive amounts of money from past years and not paying in those past years.”

He went on ranting that “with these chronic underpayments and growing threats, even 2 percent of GDP”—the amount NATO members pledged to move toward by 2024—“is insufficient to close the gaps in modernizing, readiness, and the size of forces. We have to make up for the many years lost.”

And so, he then closed out his classless speech by thanking Germany for contributing a portion of the Berlin Wall, and the 9/11 Museum for donating a remnant from the North Tower, to become part of the NATO headquarters’ new grounds, and then adding:

“I never asked once what the new NATO headquarters cost. I refuse to do that.”

Awkward ... and then awkward-er ... when the buffoon decided to air his grievances over Germany's trade surplus with the US:

“The Germans are evil, very evil. Look at the millions of cars they sell in the U.S. We’ll stop that.” 

Now, I’m not saying that this was _____ being petty and vindictive and spiteful and petulant and spoiled and bratty, toward Germany, and Chancellor Angela Merkel, but his little tirade happened shortly after French President Macron greeted German Chancellor Angela Merkel, and several others, before deigning to take _____’s fat tiny hand in his again.

And finally, after berating our friends and allies in Europe, the buffoon spoke with Belgian Prime Minister Charles Michel and complained that he has had difficulty building golf courses there.

Oh, so that’s why he took the trip ...

See, right before running for the presidency, Citizen ____, threw a tantrum when he learned of plans to build off-shore windmills within sight of the Trump International Golf Links in Scotland. He tried to buy politicians to fight for him before scrapping the Scottish project and building a resort in Ireland instead; and then he took his whining to the Supreme Court where he lost the battle against the clean energy windmills.

Another source—and it might be mu new hero, French President Emmanuel Macron—was baffled by the exchange with Belgium’s leader:

“Every time we talk about a country, he remembered the things he had done. Scotland? He said he had opened a club. Ireland? He said it took him two and a half years to get a license and that did not give him a very good image of the European Union. One feels that he wants a system where everything can be realized very quickly and without formalities.”

As long as it pads his bank account because _____ has just proven himself to be the Ugliest American.

Sorry world.