Remember when Marc Anthony
and Jennifer Lopez were soooo in love? Yeah, it was just about long enough to make a
couple of babies and then it was over.
Rumors swirled that JLo was banging her
music video co-star William Levy, while rumors swirled that Marc was banging
his HawthoRNe costar Jada Pinkett-Smith, while rumors swirled that Will Smith
was banging a couple of dudes....
But I digress. Marc and JLo.
Marc Anthony has finally filed for divorce from Idol judge and cradle-robber Jennifer
Lopez. And now he's making like JLo was the big cheater all along. But not with
Levy. Nope, Marc is making sounds like JLo was banging her first ex-husband
Ojani Noa, and Marc's lawyers want to talk to him.
Anthony’s attorney is reaching out to Ojani
Noa as there is speculation that she was spending time with him while married
to Anthony.
A source--and, by source,
it's gotta be Miss Ryan Seacrest--says, “Marc Anthony’s lawyers are following
up with allegations that Jennifer was seeing Ojani while married to Marc,
before and after the twins were born. Jennifer allegedly would go to Ojani’s
Hancock Park house and spend time with him, without Marc’s knowledge.”
And, if that wasn't
enough, Marc Anthony is also looking for financial records of Jennifer Lopez’s
because he, and his attorney, believe that she has hidden her money in offshore
accounts shortly before the two separated.
I'm not sure about this.
JLo cheating? JLo so greedy that she would hide money? I just can't....oh, who
am I kidding. This is Typical JLo style. Screw everyone and then act all
sweetness and light.
And Ojani Noa may have
something to say about that. See, Noa is ALLEGEDLY jobless, and unable to find any work because of
Jennifer Lopez: “her lawyers have threatened to sue anyone who has hired or
wants to hire Ojani, claiming that any public mention of Ojani being married to
her in any form of publicity is a violation of their marital settlement
agreement.”
Ouch. So, maybe Noa and
Anthony will team up in the Battle JLo.
After her, okay, I'll say
it, ALLEGED assault on a woman at The Standard Hotel a few
weeks back, Lindsay Lohan is once again playing the victim. She was attacked,
dammit, because nothing she does, or nothing that ever happens to her, is her
fault. It's a conspiracy.
Nope, it sounds better
when you say it like Daffy Duck: "It'th a conthpirathy."
Some reports claimed that
Lindsay Lohan was the victim in another Standard bar brawl that left her soaked
in someone else’s cocktail. Unfortunately for the wacktress, it doesn't seem
like her version of victimization is true because the only person backing up
her story is her serial liar father, douchebag Michael Lohan.
So, with no one on her
side and no one to believe that she's a good girl who just got caught up in
drugs and booze and kidnapping and car theft and jewelry store robbery,
Lindsay has announced that she will no longer go to The Standard; because it's
the hotel';s fault she brawls there.
Yes, Lohan is “banning”
herself, except......
The folks who run The
Standard are saying that they barred Lindsay from bringing her cracked-ass
troubles into their establishment. In fact, The Standard has also barred Lohan
2.0, AKA DUI-arrestee Amanda Bynes, from the premises.
So now I’m imagining
Original Recipe Lohan and Lohan 2.0 standing outside a 7/11 drinking from
paper bags and smacking each other in the face.
Stay tuned.
America’s Next Top
Model.
Is it still on? I'm
guessing the answer is yes because ANTM headmaster Tyra Banks is peaking out
about the upcoming season and a massive revamp of the show, which has become a
parody of itself.
See, Tyra has gone ahead
and fired everyone from the show next season.
Well, everyone except
herself, I mean.
She tossed Miss J to the
curb. She took Jay Manuel, and his over-acting hands, to the side and then
crushed him. She told British judge Nigel Barker that his visa had expired.
All gone. But.....if you're trying
to fix a tired show, wouldn't you look at the one constant, season after
season, and tell that Amazon with the five-head that she was fired?
Oh, but she's the boss.
And the ego. So, she's gonna be the runway coach, the photo-shoot coordinator, the
photographer, and the judge. So she stays.
But, she might not like
what former, and also fired, judge, Janice Dickinson has to say about ANTM. Appearing
on the Derek and Romaine show on SiriusXM last week to talk about her upcoming
one-woman show at XL Nightclub in NYC, Dickinson reacted swiftly to the
news that Tyra canned her team: “She’s one selfish greedy woman....She
doesn’t have a creative bone in her body, so someone else is pulling the
strings on this one.”
She was, however, upset
about Miss J's firing, but she questioned Barker's sexually and finished up by
saying, “I don’t like any of them. Fact. And they don’t like me.”
But she wasn't finished.
At the end of her interview, she dropped one last bomb: “Okay. I’m just
going to say it. COVERGIRL chooses the model. It’s not the judges. It’s not
Tyra.”
The Five-head will not be
amused.
More on Lohan, the
cracktress.
After all the brouhaha
about Lohan's chemically altered face, and how Lifetime wasn't sure she could
pull off playing Rip Taylor, oops, I mean Liz Taylor, because Lohan could
totally do Rip Taylor, news has come that Lifetime has signed Crazy to a contract.
And Rosie O'Donnell is none too happy about it.
Rosie was on the
"Today" show with Matt Lauer and Donny Deutsch when it was announced
that Lohan will play Taylor in "Liz and
Dick" and, as Rosie is apt to do, she made her feelings known: "I feel very sorry
for her....I think she needs a lot of time away....She's had a lot of trouble
doing every single movie, including SNL. She was out and not in rehearsal.
I think she's not in a place to work."
Okay, everyone has a
right to her opinion, but then Donny Deutsch actually suggested, "She's
our generation's Elizabeth Taylor."
And Rosie lost it.
"You're out of your
mind! You're a crackhead! The last thing she did good she was
sixteen....I don't think she's right for the role and I don't think she's
capable at this point to portray that character."
Well, like I said, Rip Taylor is right
up her alley.
Poor Miley Cyrus and, to some extent, Dinty, er, Demi Moore..
Miley's trying to grow up
from Disney ingenue to real life woman, and one step in that arduous process
was starring in LOL opposite Demi Moore. Miley would be Lola, who is
called Lol--yeah, that is a stretch. Demi, of course, is trying to prove she isn't a narcissistic, surgery loving, huffing, nutjob
But now comes word that LOL will
not be getting the red carpet treatment from Lionsgate because, they ALLEGE, they couldn’t find a place for the film in their
schedule. Or it was just too awful. I mean, Demi and Miley. That's Hollywood
for trainwreck.
Lionsgate executives lost
their enthusiasm for the picture and began focusing on several higher-profile
projects, including flops like Abduction and the rebooted Conan the Barbarian, but now that The Hunger Games is making them all sorts of money, they don't want to
release another God-awful Miley-Demi-hot-mess movie.
Execs are spinning the story that the
weren't confident they could successfully sell LOL, which
centers on Cyrus’ character, but features a series of interwoven tales
involving teenagers, so LOL seemed destined for Direct-To-DVD hell, except.....
A clause in the contract that says it must be released domestically in at least 100 theaters.
Look out, Bismarck and Pocatella.
I see a LOL in your future.
Trouble is, I don't see a
film career in Miley's or Demi's.
It’s hard to break into
the upper echelon of the social scene.
If you’re a Kardashian, I
mean. It seems that Beyoncé wants nothing to do with the Kash Kow even if she’s Kanye’s latest bedtime
whorey.
The Bey-Z don’t like the
Kimye.
Seriously? A new language?
Anyway, ever since Kash
Kow hooked her large posterior to Kanye’s ego, she’s been dreaming of joining
that Beyoncé/Jay-Z inner circle.. But Beyoncé is apparently as turned off by
Kash Kow as is most of America, and she is ALLEGEDLY icing Kardashian out of
the group.
It’s high school all over
again!
But apparently it has to
do with the way they live their lives.
Beyoncé's marriage to Jay-Z was
extremely private, and neither of them confirmed it until long after the event,
while Kim’s, for lack of a better word, marriage was a whore-fest media circus,
with elephants—Hi Khloe—and circus clowns—Hi Bruce—and then filmed for TV.
Now, I am not the biggest
fan of
Beyoncé and Jay-Z, who never met a market they didn’t want to tap into—do
not make me rehash the Beyonce coockbook—but I am loving the ice-out of Kimye.
Get to steppin’, whores.
And even more on Lohan.
Now, to be fair, there are
all kinds of stories out there about the wactress, and sometimes even I have a
hard time believing them. Like this one: Rumor had it that Lohan was late to
the set for the first day of her first acting job in a few years.
Late.
Now, that seemed like it
was just gossip, until…… one irate cast member, Dot Marie Jones, who plays
Coach Beiste, Tweeted: “Gonna be a long day!! Some ppl show up late and just throw a wrench in things. Not
cool!”
Jones also Tweeted [and
later deleted]. “I’d rather be an hour early (I was) than 5 minutes late.”
Trouble is, Lohan wasn’t
five minutes late—I mean, that would have given her enough time to fill her
water bottle with vodka—but was six hours late. And this was after producers
sent a car to pick her up from under a bar at the Chateau Marmont.
And then she went all diva
on the set, and demanded a large, extra pimped-out trailer for her to use on
the two days she was supposed to work.
A set insider—and I’m
guessing it’s Lea Michele, who wants to be the only diva on that set—says “She came to set with a million demands and
was not prepared to work. The cast is already worked to death and then she puts
everything behind. She is a diva!”
Yup, six hours late, she
hasn’t yet read the script, and she wants to be treated like a star! But her
lapdog, spokesmonkey, Steve Honig, spoke out, saying, “I am on the set with Lindsay right now, and
everything is going well and on schedule.”
Uh huh.
That ‘source’ also said, “Lindsay was a total nightmare. She was three
hours late in the morning, and when she did finally arrive, she just didn’t
want to be there. She did not want to work. She had not memorized her lines,
and she kept disappearing so no one could find her.”
In fact, the cast was
so displeased with Lohan they began calling her “That girl” as in That girl is
a crack head. Or That girl stole my necklace.
And with all that trouble
on the set, Honig finally had to admit Lindsay wasn’t the professional
cracktress they make her out to be. He claimed her tardiness was a
“misunderstanding” about her call time, and said all the gossip was “a classic example of people trying to bash
Lindsay. She busted her ass yesterday and is back on set again today.”
Oh Steve, you do earn your
paycheck, don’t you.
I mean, if Lindsay
actually pays you.
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