What If They Threw A Tea Party And No One Could Spell?

click 'em to emBIGGERate 'em.

Apparently he stole their dictionary.
And by 'fix it,' I think she means bring a 'g'.

Climb down to patriotism?

And, while you're speaking it, learn it.
Who is Hugh Mistake?
Good, because I don't need amnety.

And I don't need amensty either.
And then learn to spell it.

It's already cost us an 'f'.

This is the classic. Pot.Kettle.Moran.

She hates the president so much she can't even remember his name.

More Hatred From The Catholic Church

Bishop Francesco Nolè, a man of God, and also, apparently, a man of few active brain cells, believes that gay people, and criminals, don't deserve funerals:

“Our behaviour, which could be perceived as mean or cruel, in the long-run often heals and evangelises. We must have the courage and tact, perhaps first informing the individual, or the families if he has passed, that it’s not possible to administer a communion or funeral. We would perhaps pray for his soul, which must be done.”

Oh, Francesco, you ought to start praying for your own soul, because goddess ain't gonna like this.

Constance Can Go!

First there was a prom and Constance McMillen asked if she could bring her girlfriend. She was told 'No' and the prom was cancelled.

Then some parents decided that would hold a "private" prom--read No Gays Allowed--and then that was cancelled because parents thought they'd get sued.

But now, the Itawamba Agricultural High School’s parent-sponsored prom is back on, and it will be held at the Fulton Country Club, the club’s manager, Stanley Ramey said. It had been originally set at another venue, but was canceled Monday night, though parents who sponsored the private prom would not say why.

Lori Byrd, who served on the bigot, I mean, parent, organizing committee that planned the canceled event, said it was called off because, "there are a lot of people involved and they don’t want to get sued."

Whatever Lori.

The good news is that Constance can go to the prom now.

Now, think for yourself, isn't this an awful lot of hullabaloo about a girl wanting to take her girlfriend to the prom? Isn't it sad that this mess came about for such a stupid reason?

It's a dance.

Have fun, Constance!

Oklahoma Legislators Are Dumb

They don't like The Gays in Oklahomo, er, Oklahom-A.

They think we're worse than terrorists; they think we caused this economic downfall; they think we are responsible for Mylie Cyrus' career and Kate Gosselin on Dancing With The Stars. If it's bad, blame it on The Gays.

Out there in Oklahoma, the legislators have been trying to find a way to remove the LGBT from protection under Hate Crimes Legislation, because it's Oklahoma-Okay for gays to be bashed and brutalized and murdered for our gayness.

But, those Oklahoma legislators are as stupid as they are hateful. See, instead of removing The Gays from hate crime protection, they made a boo-boo and removed race and religion instead!

Yup, that's right!

If you wanna bash an African American, a Mexican, an Asian, you can do it in Oklahoma!

If you wanna bash a Baptists, a Catholic, or a Jew, you can do it in Oklahoma!

Par-tay, for the haters!

Oklahoma State Senate Minority Leader Andrew Rice said that when the Senate passed Senate Bill 1965 on March 10, it eliminated hate crime protections for race and religion. This particular bill states that local law enforcement agencies should not enforce any sections of federal law under hate crimes statutes listed under Title 18 U.S. Code Section 245 unless they are in correlation with Oklahoma's hate crimes laws. But the protections for sexual orientation and gender identity in the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Act are not listed under Section 245, but Section 249.

Rice said, in response to the error, "Numbers is hard."

Okay, maybe he didn't say that. but doesn't this make Oklahoma, home of Dingbat Wingnut Asshat Sally Kern, look even more dumb?

Tiny Tina Gets Her Job Back

Earlier this month I told you the story [HERE] of Ray Fetcho, a male nurse who had been fired from his job because thirty-plus years ago, as drag persona Tiny Tina, he'd been arrested for hosting a Wet Underwear Show at a gay club in Florida.

Well, now there is good news.

Last week the Florida Department of Health overturned the decision to fire Fetcho which had been made by the Agency for Health Care Administration, which polices and licenses registered nurses.

The Florida Department of Health: "It has been determined you have demonstrated clear and convincing evidence you will not present a danger if employed within the health-care field."

Ray Fetcho plans to return to work at a Coconut Creek retirement home in April.

Great news for Ray, and the patients who depend on him.

More On Derrick Martin

A bit more on the Derrick Martin story.

You know him, the gay kid from Georgia who wanted to take his boyfriend to prom, and he asked for permission and the school said "Yes" and then his parents kicked him out of their house?

All righty then, we're all up to speed.

But the debate still rages in his hometown of Cochran, Georgia, which, oddly enough, was originally called Dykesboro.

Seriously. but I digress,

Derrick is suddenly The homosexual about town. people shout his name as they pass him on the street; many people are with him. Others, not so much. it's those people we need to see.

Barbara Anderson: “I think they [the school board] ought to do like that other state and cancel the prom. They won’t allow us to have God in school, but they’ll allow this?”

Barb? Honey? There is a thing in this country called, and forgive me for shouting but some of you wingnuts don't seem to get it, SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!

Jason Ledbetter: “It bothers me. By him doing that, it shows we accept it.”

Jason? Moron? You don't need to accept it; it is. Derrick Martin is gay and you don't have to like it, but you cannot deny him the same rights as every other student. M'kay?

Faye Ortiz: “What they do is up to them. They’ve got to answer to God.”

Same goes for you, Faye; and I don't think god will take kindly to your homophobic Bible thumping. She don't roll like that.

But, for every Barbara Anderson, Jason Ledbetter, and Faye Ortiz, there are more rational minds.

Victoria Cagle: “I think what they [the board] did was the right thing. I think what he’s doing is awesome.”

Kenny Laney, a business partner of Jason Ledbetter: “It’s like an inter-racial couple. I thought we would have gotten over that by now, and gotten over this, too.”

But, oddly missing from the debate, and from the support for Derrick Martin, are his gay friends. Even his boyfriend has yet to comment on the uproar; and his parents, except for kicking him out of their home, haven't said a word. But he expected some of them to stand with him when he took his request to school officials.

“I thought I would have had a little bit of backup. But it’s just me.”

No, Derrick, it isn't just you. You now have a whole community that stands with you, and by you and for you.

Blah Blah Blah

I get a lot of questions from folks I meet here in South Carolina who want to know where I'm from, seeing that I don't have that usual South Carolina draaaaawl. So, I want to know, is it wrong for me to say I was born and raised in South Carolina but I don't have the drawl because I graduated from high school?

Last weekend was Cup weekend, when the annual steeplechase event came to Smallville. It's a chance to see and be seen, drink and get drunk. So, with that said, i might ass that if I see one more fat drunk in a seersucker suit with a pastel tie with his wide in a summer dress and flip-flops stumbling through town, I.Will.Go.Off.

Carlos and I made a trip to Sam's club over the weekend to buy some things we're having for a little gathering in May. We loaded up on chicken and flank steak, queso fresco and grass seed; yes, I know, quite the odd combination. At the checkout, we wait while our purchases are tallied, and then Carlos swipes his Visa card.

"Is that a debit card?"

"No. It's credit."

"We take MasterCard, Discover card, cash, and Visa debit, but not Visa credit."

"Why?"

"Because."

We left.

At the Customer service desk, we asked why they don't accept Visa credit cards, and were told again that they accept MasterCard, Discover and Visa debit.

"Why not Visa credit?"

"Because."

We're going to Costco.

FU Sam's Club.

I've finished by gorgeous paint job in the foyer of Casa Smallville, and we laid down the new rug we found at the Homo Depot. Now, it's time to redo the secretary so we can put that in the hall. We were going with a lime green and red, shocking, paint combination, but after finding the rug, we're toning it down. We're paint the secretary an olive green, and paint the interior, display shelves, gold, so they'll show off some of Carlos' tea pot.

Yes. he collects tea pots! You gotta problem?

But I digress.

Carlos bought some varnish remover, and we took the secretary to the garage to begin the work. As the day progressed, i began calling Carlos "Gypsy."

What does that mean? he asked.

Well, she was a stripper, too.

He didn't get it. I'm beginning to wonder if he's really gay, or if this isn't some elaborate hoax.

Sassy Gay Friend: Othello

F-I-asco

I love movies, but I haven't been in a while. I haven't seen Avatar and I probably won't--it's a James Cameron thing....I've never seen Titanic either. I wanted to see Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland but haven't made it yet. There always seems to be something else to do.

But I am amazed at how much these movies are making; I know the 3D-IMAX extravaganzas cost more to see, but still......Billions for Avatar? Hundreds of millions for Alice?

And now comes word that Uma Thurman's new movie, Motherhood, opened in London to......just $131.00. Yes, you read it right. I spend more than that on margaritas!

It appears, according to The Guardian that about twelve people paid to see Motherhood. In fact, on the film's opening day, one ticket was sold.

One.Ticket.

To be fair, the film did make $93,388 in its short four-week run in the United States, but that only proves my theory that people in England have better taste than we do; we'll see anything.

Good For You

It's been a busy overnight here at Gay HeadQueertors. We've had to go back into the warehouse and dust off Ricky Martin's "Good For You, You're Gay" toaster oven, as well as the updated version of The Gay Agenda.

And it isn't like we haven't done this before.

Other times, we've heard the news that Ricky was coming out, and we've readied the gift basket only to have him deny the news and say that he wasn't gay. I personally have hauled that toaster oven from the warehouse more times than I can remember, but this, this time, Ricky himself has uttered the words:

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.

On his blog, he decided to come clean, and come out:

A few months ago I decided to write my memoirs, a project I knew was going to bring me closer to an amazing turning point in my life. From the moment I wrote the first phrase I was sure the book was the tool that was going to help me free myself from things I was carrying within me for a long time. Things that were too heavy for me to keep inside. Writing this account of my life, I got very close to my truth. And this is something worth celebrating.
For many years, there has been only one place where I am in touch with my emotions fearlessly and that's the stage....It's my vice. The music, the lights and the roar of the audience are elements that make me feel capable of anything. This rush of adrenaline is incredibly addictive. I don't ever want to stop feeling these emotions. But it is serenity that brings me to where I'm at right now. An amazing emotional place of comprehension, reflection and enlightenment....I need to share.
Many people told me: "Ricky it's not important", "it's not worth it", "all the years you've worked and everything you've built will collapse", "many people in the world are not ready to accept your truth, your reality, your nature". Because all this advice came from people who I love dearly, I decided to move on with my life not sharing with the world my entire truth. Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage. Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions.
If someone asked me today, "Ricky, what are you afraid of?" I would answer "the blood that runs through the streets of countries at war...child slavery, terrorism...the cynicism of some people in positions of power, the misinterpretation of faith." But fear of my truth? Not at all! On the contrary, It fills me with strength and courage. This is just what I need especially now that I am the father of two beautiful boys that are so full of light and who with their outlook teach me new things every day. To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where born with. Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen 5 or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now. Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment.
These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed.
What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what's happening to me in this moment. The word "happiness" takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.

Ricky? Good for you, you're gay!

Welcome, and enjoy the toaster oven.

If Only It Was This Easy

Brandi Estes Is Upset

Seriously, what's all the fuss about?

At a California Mead Valley middle school the students want to form a Gay-Straight Alliance club, and while the school administrators, and the Val Verde Unified School District, don't see a problem, parents of some students are up in arms. About Gay people and Straight people aligning? Really?

Several students at Tomas Rivera Middle School announced on the site's closed-circuit TV that they were gay or bisexual and wanted to rally classmates to form a Gay-Straight Alliance, and about 15 people peacefully stood outside the school periodically, talking to parents as they dropped off and picked up their children.

Gay kids and Straight kids, talking to one another to try and understand that, really, they aren't so very different. And a school district that seems to okay the idea. What could go wrong?

Parents. One such "parent," Brandi Estes is among a group of other perturbed parents planning to pass out fliers in hopes of stopping the club. While Brandi has nothing against gays, unless they want to talk to her child, I guess, she says, with a straight face, "[H]ow can a child 10 or 11 going into middle school decide if he or she wants to be straight or gay?"

Brandi? Honey? Take a lesson from the kids, dear. If this Gay-Straight Alliance is formed, and from what the school district says it will happen, once of the first things straight kids might learn is that gay kids don't choose to be gay any more that straight kids chose that orientation. Perhaps Brandi Estes ought to find a parental Gay-Straight Alliance to help open her mind.

But Brandi Estes goes further, when she says, again straight-faced, "It's absurd. If that's the lifestyle they choose at 17 or 18, let them knock themselves out. But these are children and I don't think they have the mental capacity to make that decision, which can be life-changing."
Brandi Estes. Every time you open your mouth, you actually help the notion that a Gay-Straight Alliance is a good thing. Even when you question the purpose of a Gay-Straight Alliance.

Brandi Estes: "What can they possibly talk about? What are they getting together to do? Is it a place to meet other gay people, or a place to bring others in?"

Yes, Brandi Estes. it's a recruitment center for the LGBT community. There will be games like Pin The Penis On The Hot Man and Spin The Power Tool; there will forms and registration cards and toaster oven door prizes.

Or, and call me crazy, maybe it will be a place where gay kids can be themselves without fear of name-calling and bullying. Maybe it will be a place where straight kids can get answers to their questions, and learn, unlike Brandi Estes, that being gay is not a choice, that being gay is not a learned behavior, or a lesson to be learned.

Brandi Estes says, "I'm very upset."

Me, too, Brandi Estes.

I'm upset that you're allowed to parent a child and inflict upon their young, impressionable minds, your own homophobia. I'm upset that you want the world to be like you, narrow, and afraid, and angry, and upset.

Maybe you ought to go to a meeting, Brandi Estes.

Should I Be Worried? Should Carlos?

This is the song I woke up singing this morning.

What To Do, What To Do

The Republicans.

What to do, what to do.

Do we stand and argue against the likes of Eric Cantor and Sarah Palin, or is that a little too "shooting fish in a barrel"? I mean, every single poll out today, save for those fair and balanced FauxNews polls, shows that at least 55% of Americans, real Americans, not just the sign-wilding Teabaggers, disapprove of Sarah Palin. Now, to be fair, that's down slightly from her post quitting-my-job-as-governor-because-it's-too-hard heyday, but still, a whopping half of the country doesn't like her, and yet Republicans like Gramps McCain are trotting her out in her Lesbian-chic biker gear to stump for him.

What to do, what to do.

Do we point out the flaws in their arguments, or will people actually listen? Like, that poster boy of Republicanism, when he isn't flip-flopping his positions, Mitt Romney, who worked overtime to set himself apart from the health care reform even though the plan is almost identical to the reforms he pushed through as governor of Massachusetts. So, Mitt, what is it about the health care reform you gave Massachusetts that isn't good enough for America? Is it because it came from a Democratically controlled administration and not the Republicans? I can't help thinking that if Pretty Boy or Grampa had been elected and they pushed through this same reforms, that they wouldn't be cheering.

What to do, what to do.

Mitt even went so far as to say that enacting reform was an “unconscionable abuse of power,” a “historic usurpation of the legislative process”. Um, it was voted on, Mitt; that's the way it works. And the more you talk, the more you sound like you're a recent grad of the Sarah Palin School of Legislatery and Reformery. It's called voting.

And there are still Republicans angry that the bill passed even though a majority of Americans are against it. But, see, this is how government works: opinion polls don't create law. Simple, right? But, um, could someone pass that along to Palin and her Tea People? See, while many Americans disapprove of Obamacare, many of those people disapprove because it doesn't go far enough. And then, factor in a recent Gallup poll taken after the bill passed and you'll find that most Americans, by a modest albeit significant margin, are pleased that it passed.

But that doesn't stop the Party of No from spouting the most unbelievable claims. House minority leader, John Boehner, declared passage of health care reform as “Armageddon.” And the RNC put out a fund-raising appeal that contained a photograph of Nancy Pelosi in a ring of fire, saying it was time to put Ms. Pelosi on “the firing line.” And, of course, we have that Queen Of Illiteracy, that Master Of The Uninformed, that Lipstick Wearing Pitbull who calls all of us Tea Partiers, Sarah Palin, and her map of America that literally put Democratic lawmakers in the cross hairs of a rifle sight.

Now, as I've said before in other posts, this is politics. There will always be two sides who vehemently disagree with one another. That makes life, and my little old blog here, kinda fun. But, try to find a time when the Democratic party, even in the W years of lies and wars for oil and "Patriot" Acts, seemed so bent on violence as an answer to something they didn't like about the opposing administration.

I don't recall Hilary or Barack using crosshairs to denote the targets of their campaign. I didn't see people calling W the new Hitler. I saw anger and confusion over the direction in which this country was headed, but I didn't see Keith Olbermann wield a bat on his show when talking about the Republicans; and I didn't hear Rachel Maddow declare that we needed to "wipe out" the Republicans as Limbaugh said about the Democrats.

But, for the Republican Party, this kind of hate speech, or at the very least, hurtful speech, is the norm,. Dick Armey, the second-ranking House Republican, and current Tea Party leader, once referred to Bill Clinton as "your president." Jesse helms warned Clinton that he “better watch out if he comes down [to North Carolina]. He’d better have a bodyguard.” And when the Republicans gained control of the Congress during the Clinton administration they actually shut down the federal government.

What to do, what to do.

Well, all this violence-speak about reloading and Armageddon, this business of bricks through windows and homophobic and racist taunts, will not serve the Republicans or this country very well. As they continue to be seen as the party that offers nothing but rhetoric, and violent rhetoric, the voter backlash may stun them. But, in the end, it will be America, and Americans, that lose, because, no matter my opinion of Republican Thuggery, we do need opposing voices in this country.

Without them, what to do, what to do.

Please To Explain........

Out in Portland, Oregon, the Preble Street's Homeless Voices for Justice--a social service agency that supports marriage equality--has lost its local and national funding from the Catholic Church's anti-poverty program because of that stance. The group has lost over $17,000 this year and will lose $33,000 for its next fiscal year. And Wingnut officials with the Roman Catholic Diocese of Portland and the Washington-based Catholic Campaign for Human Development don't hide their reasons why, saying that Preble Street violated its grant agreement by supporting Maine's "No on 1" campaign last fall.

So, the homeless go hungry in Portland because this group supported equality in Maine.

That's the Catholic Church.

source

According to church files being used in yet another molestation suit, top Vatican officials--up to, and including, the future Pope Benedict XVI--did not defrock a priest who molested as many as 200 deaf boys, even though several American bishops repeatedly warned them that failure to act on the matter could embarrass the church.

These letters between the bishops in America and church leaders in Europe plainly show that while their was argument over whether the pedophile priest should be dismissed--notice they never say arrested and prosecuted--those higher up the Catholic food chain were more concerned with protecting the image of the Catholic church.

These damning documents are being released as Pope Benedict is facing other accusations that he and direct subordinates often did not alert civilian authorities or discipline priests involved in sexual abuse when he served as an archbishop in Germany and as the Vatican’s chief doctrinal enforcer.

Rather than protect children,m they protected their image.

And that's the Catholic church. source

And finally we have the tale of Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, the future Pope Benedict XVI, and how it now appears that he was kept more closely apprised of a sexual abuse case in Germany than previous church statements have suggested.

Cardinal Ratzinger, the future pope and archbishop in Munich at the time, was copied on a memo that informed him of the priest whom he had approved sending to therapy to overcome pedophilia, would be returned to pastoral work within days of beginning psychiatric treatment. That priest was later convicted of molesting boys in another parish. Previously, the church had placed the blame for this mistake on Cardinal Ratzinger’s deputy, the Reverend Gerhard Gruber, but this new memo shows that the future pope not only led a meeting to approve the transfer of the pedophile priest, but that he was kept informed of the priest's new assignment.

That, too, is the Catholic church.

source

Now, I am not a Catholic, if that isn't obvious by even one visit to my blog. And, you may well have also guessed that I am not a member of any organized [disorganized?] religion. But I do have my beliefs, and they include no longer being a member of any organization that punishes one group of people, like, say, the homeless, over a group's interest in the equality of another group, like, say, the LGBT community.

And I would not want to be part of a group that prefers to protect their own image rather than the lives and souls and psyches of children.

Nor would I remain associated with a group whose very leader seems to be at the center of an attempt to save a pedophile from prosecution, while keeping him employed around children in another town.

No, I don't get it. I get how people can be Catholic; I get how they can follow that faith, even though I don't get the faith. But what I don't get is how they continue to attend that church, give money to that church, and send their children to that church.

That, I would assume, is blind faith. Deaf and dumb, as well.

Sunday Funnies

Cats V Dogs

Excerpts from Ozzo's Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from Tuxedo's diary:
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released--and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously an idiot. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...

I Ain't One To Gossip, But..........

Okay Philly, you don't need to install extra security for the Cheesesteaks, Oprah ain't comin'.

It seems that Nomvuyo Mzamane, who said Big O ruined her professional reputation, and the Big O have resolved the issue without going to court.

Methinks Big O's bank account took a hit, if you get my meaning.

The trial was set for March 29th in Philadelphia after Lerato decided to sue, butt hat is no more. According to a statement:

"Ms. Winfrey testified in her deposition that she did not intend the implications placed on her words by the plaintiff. Ms. Mzamane testified in her deposition that she has no evidence that Ms. Winfrey knowingly made a false statement about her or entertained serious doubt about what she said."

Now, O does the non-apology-apology. You know, I said something bad, but I didn't mean for anyone to take it as such, so you can't sue me.

Back to the cakes, O.

Looks like non-convicted-murderer O.J. Simpson has a big old gay fanbase in the big house, and he seems to be loving it!

If we are to believe the words of an "unnamed" former prisoner, Simpson is known as 'Daddy Juice' around the cell block, and is doted upon and receives special privileges from a gaggle of gay inmates known as 'The Girls!' Unnamed source says:

"O.J. may be a pariah on the outside, but in prison, he's still a somebody. He's really tight with 'The Girls.' Whenever we'd be let out to the yard, O.J. would almost always hang out with them. The 'girls' treated him like he was a king."

Or, perhaps, a Queen.

It seems as though Top Chef hostess Padma Lakshmi has finally revealed the name of her baby daddy, but has gone on record as saying the daddy will have a limited role in the newborn's life.

Not so fast, though, says baby daddy, Adam Dell.

He is allegedly no longer happy with this arrangement and he has hired high-powered--is there any other kind?--attorney Bill Zabel to get him more visitation with his child.

May not help, because Padma and her peeps say the two had an agreement concerning his child that he can not go back on.

Whatever happened to the good old days when people got married, then had babies? And then they got all pissy and went off and hired high-powered mouthpieces to try and get them more time with the babies?

It's all bassackwards.

A teenager who appeared on that trash TV show, Wife Swap, has filed a $100 million lawsuit against ABC for airing what she claims was an exaggerated and staged portrayal of herself.

One-hundred-million dollars? I mean, c'mon, it's not like she's Tom Cruise and someone called her a homo!

Alicia Guastaferro, who appeared on the show in 2008 as a pageant princess, claims she was shown to be an utterly spoiled brat. She screeched at her mother over the preparation of her cereal; made her dad spray tan her legs; and, ALLEGEDLY, demanded a Christmas tree be in the house year-round so she could receive presents every day.

Huh! Maybe she is Tom Cruise! The suit claims that "[Guastaferro] does not receive a present every day," and that ABC purposefully staged scenes to "maximize [her] public embarrassment." The girl goes on to claim that, since her episode aired, she is being ridiculed by her peers, received death threats, and was actually assaulted. She claims to now suffer panic attacks and suicidal tendencies and was forced her to transfer schools, where she has gone from honor-roll to special-ed classes.

ABC says that Mama signed the proper agreements and received $20,000 to appear on the show, but the girl says she never consented.

Um, sweetie pie? You don't have to consent. As a minor, your parents made the decision for you, so, as my Idol Judge Judy would say:

Sue.Your.Parents.

Oh goddess no!

Jerry Springer is coming back to TV!

He will be the host of the new Game Show Network show "Baggage" in which contestants will have the opportunity to find a date, but not until after they reveal the worst qualities about themselves.

Sounds delightful. Springer says:

"I just keep finding jobs. I'm really lucky and I know that. Being a host is what I'm comfortable doing. I've been doing it forever, joking around with guests, having fun."

I wonder how long until some toothless transvestite who lives in a trailer in one of the square states in the middle and claims to have had an affair with her mother's parakeet and wound up pregnant with a tiny yellow baby throws a chair?

My bet is Episode One!

Reboot!

Mike Myers, who doesn't have a career outside of voicing Shrek or being Austin Powers, is currently at work on a fourth installment of the Powers franchise.

Seven years after the third one.

Director Jay Roach says: "[Mike is] working on ideas for it, people are definitely talking about it and I'm all good for it." he says Austin will go "somewhere you haven't thought of" in the next flick.

Like to the Don't-Do-It-Graveyard?

Just sayin'.

Speaking of the Don't-Do-It-Graveyard, Will Ferrell was set to make the sequel to that instant classic, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, but the project is on hold because it's been too difficult to get the original cast back together.

Hmmm, ever think the original cast doesn't want to do it?

Will Ferrell: "I thought we were doing it. I was told it was happening and now I've heard it's going to be too hard to get everyone together. Hopefully the director Adam McKay will be able to talk to all the guys individually and see if we can figure it out."

Hopefully not.

Still, Ferrell believes his own inner press agent and says he knows nothing can top the original: "We don't think we can make it as good. It would be really fun to do, so we might just try to make the craziest sequel you've ever seen. It could be terrible, but if they're going to pay us to do it, then why not, right?"

Wrong!

Maddow V Brown

Who'da thunk it? Another Republican lying!

Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown sent a letter out to his supporters, both in Massachusetts and out-of-state, asking for donations, in, light of his opposition come election time. See, Brown was telling folks that MSNBC's Rachel Maddow was being courted to run against him. In fact, he outright said she was running.

Trouble is, it was a lie.

Maddow isn't running.

Maddow has no intention of running.

Maddow was never asked to run by the DNC as Scott Brown said.

So, to tell her side, she took out an open letter ad to give the right side of the story. You can emBIGgen the picture to read her response.

Snap!

Makes me kinda wish, though, that she was running. I'd move to Massachusetts just to vote for her.

I Didn't Say It

Sinead O'Connor, on the Pope and the epidemic of Catholic clergy sexual abuse scandals:
"There should be a full criminal investigation of the Catholic hierarchy of any country in which this has been an issue. There should be a full criminal investigation of the Vatican. There should be a full criminal investigation of the pope. The pope should stand down for the fact that he did not act in a Christian fashion to protect children, and for the fact that his organization acted to preserve their business interests decade after decade rather than be concerned about the interests of children, and for showing so much disrespect for Christ, God, the victims, the rest of us, their own clergy. . . . The Vatican and the pope need to get on their knees and confess the full truth in the same language they make us use in Mass. . . . They need to get on their knees, open everything up, be transparent, tell the truth, ask the people for forgiveness and prayers."

James Cameron on Glenn Beck:
"Glenn Beck is a fucking asshole. I've met him. He called me the anti-Christ and not about 'Avatar.' He hadn't even seen 'Avatar' yet. I don't know if he has seen it...I think, you know what, he may or may not be an asshole, but he certainly is dangerous, and I'd love to have a dialogue with him...He's dangerous because his ideas are poisonous. I couldn't believe when he was on CNN. I thought, what happened to CNN? Who is this guy? Who is this madman? And then of course he wound up on Fox News, which is where he belongs, I guess...[The right wing are] just people ranting away, lost in their little bubbles of reality, steeped in their own hatred, their own fear and hatred. That's where it all comes from. Let's just call it out. Let's have a public discussion. That's what movies are supposed to do, you know, you can have a mindless entertainment film that doesn't affect anybody. I wasn't interested in that...Anybody that is a global-warming denier at this point in time has got their head so deeply up their ass I'm not sure they could hear me."

Barney Frank on the anti-gay slurs used by Teabaggers during the health care debate:
"There was a great deal of shouting, you know, waving of fists and signs, and sort of people getting very close and yelling. And a number of the comments were homophobic.... What occurs to me is, there are kids all over the country watching this, not as a game but as real life. And watching so-called respectable politicians cheering them on. And that was just discouraging, that at this point in our history, we couldn't have a rational debate with these kind of thug tactics that were being used.''

Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin on DADT and ENDA:
"Certainly there are members of Congress who are nervous because of the economy, the rate of joblessness. Across the country, people are agitated. On the other hand, my constituents want to see bolder and quicker change, and so I actually see positive signs to follow through [on DADT and ENDA]."






Carmen Electra, on her breast implants:
"I had breast surgery over 10 years ago…which took a bit of time to get used to. I didn't want to go as big as that. It's nice that I don't have to wear a push-up bra any more, but I could have left myself alone."









Magician James Randi, known as 'The Amazing Randi', coming out of the closet:
"Well, here goes. I really resent the term, but I use it because it’s recognized and accepted. I’m gay. From some seventy years of personal experience, I can tell you that there’s not much “gay” about being homosexual. For the first twenty years of my life, I had to live in the shadows, in a culture that was--at least outwardly--totally hostile to any hint of that variation of life-style....Gradually, the general attitude that I’d perceived around me began to change, and presently I find that there has emerged a distinctly healthy acceptance of different social styles of living--except, of course, in cultures that live in constant and abject fear of divine retribution for infractions found in the various Holy Books...In another two decades, I’m confident that young people will find themselves in a vastly improved atmosphere of acceptance....I'm in excellent company: Barney Frank, Oscar Wilde, Stephen Fry, Ellen DeGeneres, Rachel Maddow, are just a few of those who were in my thoughts as I pressed the key that placed this on Swift and before the whole world…"


Drag Queen Joan Collins on real men in Hollywood:
"There's a big difference between the male stars of bygone years and today's slightly metrosexual-looking actors. Johnny Depp, Leonardo Di Caprio and Sean Penn are all wonderful actors, but they are chameleon-like when it comes to their place on the masculinity meter. As for today's TV stars, to me they seem just like ordinary, faceless men cut from the same male cookie-cutter. I don't recognise most of them, and in any case their star doesn't burn brightly for very long on TV nowadays. Viewers are fickle and shows are cast off the networks faster than old bait."

Former Australian High Court Justice, and out gay man, Michael Kirby, from a book of essays about justice issues:
"Openness about sexuality helps to destroy the foundation for prejudice and discrimination. One day there will be a big parliamentary apology to gay people for the oppression that was forced on them and the inequalities that were maintained in the law well beyond their use-by date. Just like the delayed 2008 apology to the Aboriginal people of our country.
"I also do not doubt that, in a comparatively short time, Australia will move towards same-sex civil unions and gay marriage. No one has satisfactorily explained how my 40-year loving relationship with my partner Johan in any way affects (still less undermines) heterosexual marriage. If Australians are now more homophobic than racist, as some recent public opinion polls suggest, this is because Australians have lacked good leadership on this issue."

Lt. Dan Choi on his arrest for chaining himself to a White House fence:
"There was no freer moment than being in that prison. It was freeing for me, and I thought of all of the other people that were still trapped - that were still handcuffed and fettered in their hearts. And we might have been caged up physically, but the message was very clear to all of the people who think that equality can be purchased with a donation, or with a cocktail party, or with tokens, that are serving in a public role. We are worth more than tokens. We have absolute value. And when the person who is oppressed by his own country wants to find out how to get that dignity back - being chained up and being arrested - that's how you get your dignity conferred back upon you. And so I think that by actions, my call is to every leader - not just talking gay leaders - I'm talking any leader who believes in America, and the promises of America can be manifest. We're gonna do it again. And we're going to keep doing it until the promises are manifest. And we will not stop. This is a very clear message to President Obama and any other leader who supposes to talk for the American promise and the American people. We will not go away."

Huffington Post blogger and military veteran Rob Smith, on Dan Choi's protest:
"Dan Choi will always be that rock star activist that handcuffed himself to the gates of The White House. Of course Dan Choi jumped the shark, and he did it in his military uniform for all the cameras to see. You know what, though? I think what we needed was to see something like this to light a fire under each and every one of us that cares as deeply as he does about Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal, and about full equality in general. This movement needs him as much as it needs me, or Jarrod Chlapowski, or Lt. Col Victor Fehrenbach, or any of the other gay veterans who share our past of silent service knowing that it reflects the present of thousands of gay soldiers currently serving. Maybe it's time to act up all over again. Maybe the rumblings of this being a part of a more coordinated activist effort are true. Maybe it is time to Get Equal."People keep wondering who's going to be the Martin Luther King of the gay rights movement, and that I still don't know, but I think yesterday's actions may have put us one step closer to finding our Malcolm X."